


The Dawn Will Come

by AJshook



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Action/Adventure, Bittersweet, Demons, Dreams, F/M, Other, Romance, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJshook/pseuds/AJshook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warden Briana Cousland receives word from Leliana that her husband, Warden Alistair was lost at the battle of Adamant Fortress. Its been a six months since Corypheus' defeat and almost two years after the attack on Adamant. Briana has returned to confront the Inquisitor and demand blood for blood. However, Inquisitor Nanami Lavellan makes her an offer she can't refuse...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shadows Fall

A cold wind blew into Nanami Lavellan's chambers; soft snow gathered on the rail of her balcony and blew through the doors, dusting the cold stone floor. It comforted her somehow, maybe it was due to the years of studying ice magic, but more than likely that chill that ran along her skin provided her with a distraction and a brief reprieve from the work in front of her. Her large oak desk was strewn with a copious amount of paperwork.  Leliana, Josie, and Cullen’s signatures scratched across every sheet. Everything was approved and accounted for.

Save for the addition of her final signature.

It was all tedious and boring but, compared to running around all of Thedas, fighting Red Templars, and closing rifts, it was a welcome silence.

Since Corypheus' defeat Josie had been throwing party after party and it had Nanami’s back in knots. She barely won the approval of the Orlesians at Halamshiral and had been trying to make up for it ever since. The sheer amount of people, and the questions, and the Game, so many conversations, smiles, and gestures that meant nothing and yet, somehow, everything. Her gut twisted and she lifted her hand to the comfort of her Vallaslin. The tattoo had been apart of her for so long, touching it had been like coming home but, when she touched her cheek she felt warm flesh, unscarred by the blood writing. Like every other personal comfort it was gone.

She set the quill down and pressed her back further into the massive chair. It swallowed her small elven frame. She rubbed her face, her eyes were heavy and red from countless hours of staring at contracts and peace agreements. Sighing, she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her pointed chin on the tops of her knees while soft blue eyes stared ahead at nothing in particular. Unbidden, her eyes slid closed; in the darkness, she could see a pair of inquisitive eyes and a warm, thoughtful smile.

_Solas._

His promise to explain once Corypheus was dealt with had pushed her to stay focused. There was no time for heartache when the world was about to be destroyed. However, Corypheus came and went and she still waited for his explanation and instead found herself lost in an ocean of what-ifs and regrets.

_Get it together Nanami, you're a leader. You're the Inquisitor. No time for broken hearts and promises._

She took a deep breath, picked up her chin, and with one solid push on the arms of her chair, Inquisitor Nanami Lavellan rose to her feet and walked onto the balcony in her thin, deep blue, silk tunic. Looking past the falling snow, she could see the moon competing against the Frostbacks for the sky. A strong gust of wind bit through her tunic and tousled her smooth black hair until it curled itself over her shoulder in a heap of knots. As the snow whipped around her she allowed herself a moment of entertainment. Using her magic, she shaped the falling snow into a wolf, a halla, a Dalish hunter. They all turned and ran away with the guest of wind that carried them. She smiled and leaned onto the railing, burying her arms into the snow so she could look further away from Skyhold; wishing she could see all of Thedas and everyone in it.

She stayed like that for some time daydreaming of aravels, halla, and ironbark. She prayed to the god, Sylaise, whose Vallaslin she had once worn for health and peace; and to Mythal to keep her and her people safe; she also took a moment to acknowledge Andraste and asked her, quietly, to forgive all the lives she had taken in her name. As she stood in silent prayer she didn’t hear the soft thud of boots landing behind her and it was too late when she felt a strong hand in her hair yanking her unceremoniously back into a hard, armored chest. Another hand pressed over her mouth and as she breathed in to cast a spell, she was greeted by a mouthful of bitter-tasting dust. It clung to the back of her throat and began to burn as it slid into the pit of her stomach.

_Poison._

Her head began to throb and with each passing second it started to feel like a dagger was digging further and further into her brain. Her body convulsed against her captor as she struggled to get free. She tried to cast another spell but there was no response. Her magic had fled from her body. As the pain reached its height her fingers and feet began to tingle as if they were falling asleep. Nanami screamed into the hand that held her and kicked the shins of her captor; her bare feet connected with armor. She grabbed the cold metal gauntlets and tried to pry the hand away from her mouth. Whoever had her was strong and she was pinned without much effort. Regardless of the futility, she kicked again. This time her heel caught a sharp metal rivet and cut deep into the sole of her foot causing pain to shoot through her limb.

The cold press of a steel blade pushed against her neck, “Now, now.” Warm lips pressed against her ear as a soft, feminine voice whispered, “It won’t kill you; I just need some answers.” Her head was jerked further back. The pain of her hair being pulled was nothing compared to the way the blood throbbed in her head nor the fear of the blade against her neck. It was hard to even hear what her captor was saying “Now, be a good little mage and tell me, where is Warden Alistair?”

Nanami stopped struggling.

Panicked and shocked, a hazy image of the young man swam into her memory and her heart raced, she didn’t need to identify the woman holding her anymore. The gauntleted hand uncovered her mouth. Through half numbed lips Nanami managed a weak, “Briana Cousland?”

“That's not an answer, Sweetie.” Nanami's eyes looked up and now she could see the Hero of Ferelden. She wore fine heavy chainmail armor and on her back she could see the pommel of a two handed axe. Her hair was a mess of wind-blown, brown curls pulled back with a red rose woven in. Her green eyes were wild and looked straight through Nanami.

“I’m sorry, we were in the Fade --” Her words spilled from her lips and with another sudden surge of anger the Warden threw her to the ground. Without her magic Nanami was defenseless against the Warden. Her body struggled to correct itself, trying to reconnect to the Fade. Muscles spasmed and the room around her spun. She laid on the floor and clutched her head as she tried to gather her wits.

“You're sorry? Now. What kind of response is that?” Nanami picked herself off the floor but as she pushed herself onto her knees, Briana caught her in the chest with the ball of her armored foot and sent her slamming back into the stone floor. Nanami gasped in pain; the human woman was strong and the heavy armor on her boot ripped the delicate blue fabric and bit into her skin. The Hero held her down with her foot, Nanami’s mind raced back to the elven servants in Halamshiral and the tales the Dalish told of the alienages. Elves brutally beaten, tortured, raped or, as in Tevinter, used for blood magic. Nanami grabbed the Warden’s ankle and tried to push her off. But, Warden Cousland only added more weight which caused her to gasp for air. “You're the Inquisitor aren't you? A Dalish mage who claims to be the Herald of Andraste? Leaders don’t apologize they explain or lie. I recommend you explain because lying will only succeed in getting my axe shoved through your neck.” Between the pain from the poison and now being slammed into the ground, Nanami barely had the energy to speak. Her entire body was either numb or throbbing in pain but, thankfully, that large axe was still strapped to the Hero's back.

“Where is my husband?” She repeated this time with more force. Nanami looked towards the entrance to her chambers. Surely her guards would hear the struggle or perhaps Briana had already taken care of them. Of course she had, this was a woman who took down the Archdemon and survived. Taking out a few household guards wouldn’t be much for her. Briana’s foot pressed harder against Nanami’s chest; against her will she cried out in pain and tried to summon a healing spell for some relief. Her link to the Fade was still severed but she could feel the magic creeping back.

“In the Fade!” The pressure on her chest began to subside and she sucked in a fresh lungful of air, “He’s stuck in the Fade.” Her heart pounded as Briana removed her foot and reached down to pick Nanami up by her shirt, placing her back on her feet.

“Go on.”

“We couldn’t all make it out of the Fade. Someone had to stay behind...” She paused to catch her breath, “...to distract the Fear demon. Calandra Hawke and Alistair argued. In the end I had to make a decision. I chose for Alistair to stay and fight.” Briana’s eyes were a green swamp of hardness and anger but, the dagger in her hand was resheathed.

“You chose a woman, who couldn’t even keep her own city from falling apart, to live... and allowed my husband, a respected and loyal Grey Warden, to die? For what purpose?” Her voice was quiet but colder than the snow outside.

Nanami opened her mouth to respond but she didn’t know what to say. She chose Alistair because Calandra knew more about Corypheus, because Alistair felt responsible for what was happening at Adamant, because in the face of that demon Alistair seemed the most capable. In the heat of the moment those seemed like logical and sound reasons. But now, facing the woman he stared down an archdemon with, they were just excuses; and one was just as trivial as the next. Nanami’s heart fell into her stomach. “I’m sorry… I”

“Stop!” Briana towered over Nanami like a giant. She raised a gauntleted fist and struck her across the cheek. The force of the blow knocked her off her feet and into the wall behind her, “You have no idea, absolutely no idea what I have done to protect that man’s life. To protect my future with him. Slaying an archdemon was nothing compared to loving him and...” She stopped short and lifted Nanami by her fine silk collar so that they were nose to nose. Without her magic Nanami was just a ragdoll for Briana to throw around “When I was at my lowest he was there and you just… abandoned him?! You the bloody Herald of Andraste. Is this how you reward the people who keep the Maker’s children safe?!” Briana shoved her away and withdrew the axe from it’s place on her back. “I can’t let this go unpunished… I can’t let his death be swept under the rug as some kind of heroic sacrifice! It was murder!”

Nanami stumbled; something clicked in her brain and all of a sudden she felt the Fade flooding through her veins again. When the axe was swung, Nanami fade stepped around Briana to her staff. She heard her curse and with her hands on her staff Nanami pointed it at the Warden. An ice mine exploded, freezing her legs in place. “I don’t want to hurt you… you have every right to hate me but the choice is done. I am sorry but Alistair is gone. Killing me won’t relieve your grief nor will it bring him back.” She strained to listen outside for any clue that help was coming. She didn’t hear heavy boots running towards her room; shouting from beneath the balcony; nothing.

No one was coming.

The ice melted around Briana’s feet and she came after her with another deft blow. This time Nanami countered with her staff. The blade of the Knight Enchanter appeared just in time to stop the axe from connecting with her face. Nanami lifted her fingers to her head and a blast of spirit energy erupted around her and caused Briana to stumble back. She set another ice mine between them. “He understood the sacrifice he was making. You need to respect his decision. Stand down.”

There was hesitation as Briana lifted her axe and took a step forward. “I don’t need to respect anything.” Her voice grew soft, “I just need my vengeance.”

“That’s enough Bri” Another voice entered the conversation and from one of the secret passages that connected to Nanami’s chambers stood Leliana with her longbow drawn, notched, and pointed at the Warden, “You’ve had your fun. Are you alright Inquisitor?” Nanami nodded, dismissed the ice mine, and lowered her staff.  Leliana moved between the two of them, “Put the axe down.”

“Lilly, she killed Alistair.I can’t --”

“You can. The Herald did what she thought was best. Just like you and I did, once.” Slowly, the Warden lowered her axe while Leliana lowered her bow and loosened the arrow from its string.

Leliana reached out and took the Warden’s hand in hers. Her usual, neutral expression softened into a small, sympathetic smile. “It’s alright my friend, he’s with the Maker now. Go rest, we can speak more later. I’ve already had a room prepared”

Briana looked at Nanami from over Leliana’s shoulder, the anger was still there but she didn’t dare defy Leliana. Somehow, the spymaster had her leashed. Briana gave Leliana’s hand a hard squeeze and she nodded, “Fine.”

Leliana called in one of her people and Briana was escorted out of Nanami’s room. Nanami hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until she let it out in one relieved sigh. “You already have a room prepared? So, you knew she was here? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Leliana’s face twisted with guilt and her arms swung to clasp behind her back, “I’m sorry Inquisitor. When Adamant happened I sent word to her. She deserved to know that Alistair was lost. I kept the message brief and as discreet as I could. My discretion is probably what drove her to this madness. I apologize.”

“If you knew she was here why didn’t you come to my aid sooner or even better, warn me? She could have killed me with that poison and it seemed like she meant to.”

“Honestly,I wanted to know what she would do. I was hoping she was coming to offer you support. I knew my friend could be unpredictable but…” She shook her head, “This was unexpected. When I heard the two of you fighting I waited to see if she would stop on her own. I didn’t take her seriously until she drew her axe. When I realized she wouldn’t relent, I stepped in. I allowed my feelings for her put you in danger. It won’t happen again.”

“Everyone has their blind spots, Leliana, and it’s usually those we treasure most. Please, go and get some rest. It seems like all of us are in need of it tonight. Just make sure her room is well guarded.” Nanami touched her cheek where Briana had hit her. She felt swelling and blood. She turned away from  Leliana, looked into a mirror, and healed herself in a flash of soft blue light.  Leliana began walking towards the door.

“Oh, and  Leliana…?”

“Yes, Inquisitor?”

“Have you heard any word about Solas?” Through the mirror  Leliana’s face gave way to concern and she shook her head, “I see. Maker watch over you, Leliana.”

“May he watch over us all. Sleep well, Inquisitor” When she was alone, Nanami sat on the edge of her bed. Her whole body ached, she hadn’t been prepared for a fight like that and the use of poison had rattled her. The idea that someone could disconnect her from the Fade, even briefly, frightened her more than Corypheus.

_That was new. One more thing to keep me up at night._

As she laid back on her pillow and pulled the blankets over her, her mind wandered away from the poison and back to Adamant. The sight of Wardens being twisted into abominations was enough to give anyone nightmares but, the stench of burning flesh mixed with a marked, rancid smell that followed the corrupted dragon. That’s what haunted her. She could close her eyes and hide from her vision but she could never cover her nose enough. The smell of the corruption was forever tattooed to her nostrils and tongue.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to see Alistair again. She only managed to see a pair of sad hazel eyes staring back at her. Dirty blonde hair began to frame a square face but still it was not the man she had met in Crestwood. The disappointment panged in her heart, how could she forget someone that sacrificed so much for her cause? She tried again, this time she tried to hear him. All she heard was a sigh, a deep, hurting sound he made when she asked him about his wife. Years had past and the battle at Adamant still haunted her. This time, its ghost came in the form of a dangerous, and desperate woman. Her eyelids were heavy and her muscles were sore. Before she could think about it further, sleep pulled her into the Fade.

~ ~ ~

Briana undressed and settled into the black cotton tunic Leliana provided. She stared at her war axe leaning against the wall while she unwound the rose from her hair. Leliana was supposed to be a friend, her closest friend. Yet, there she had stood; firm and unrelenting between Briana and the woman who took everything from her. In a fit of anger Briana grabbed a small vase and smashed it against the cold stone walls. She was angry at her own sentimentality towards the past. She regretted not fighting Leliana to get to the Inquisitor. She pictured herself cutting through her and burying her axe into Nanami’s skull. It would have been so easy.

_I didn’t need to survive I just needed to kill her._

Briana looked at the mess she’d made and bent down to pick up the small shards of ceramic. She stared at the shards as they came together into a picture of the Inquisition emblem. It stared up at her, taunting, and accusing. She turned them upside down and continued to collect the pieces.

_Maker, what is all of this doing to me?_

The heavy wooden door of her room swung open and Leliana walked in. “Feel any better? I’m not sure you’ve done enough damage yet. Why don’t you try lighting the bed on fire?”

Briana swallowed everything and smiled. “I know, I know. You’re disappointed in me. But Alistair is gone, what did you expect me to do?”

“Talk. I allowed you to get to her because I thought you deserved answers. I trusted you not to kill her.”

“You were mistaken then.” Briana barked out a half-hearted laugh and gave her friend a toothy grin. “You should have known better.” She collected the last visible shard and tossed it into a small metal bin. The small pieces sang like rain on a tin roof as they bounced off the metal.

“What about the Calling?”  Leliana pulled her hood back in frustration, short red hair neatly framed her face just as it always had. Her gloved hands perched on her hips and she waited for a response like a mother scolding a child.

“What about it? You think I cared about any of that after I got your letter?” She shook her head and propped her arms on her hips, mocking  Leliana, “I had some leads, I found some clues but do you really think I have the energy or desire to pursue them if I have no one worth saving? Let all the Wardens suffer in their blighted corpses for all I care.” Her arms swung out in front of her in an exasperated manner and she turned away from her friend and strode across the room with no clear destination twirling the rose unconsciously between two fingers.

“You don’t mean that. You’ll suffer too.”

Briana stopped pacing. She listened to her friend’s voice sadden and she stared down at the rose in her hand. “I’m already suffering. My family is dead, I have committed countless murders in the name of justice and world peace. What’s one more tragedy at the end of my life going to matter? You were right, it’s not the Inquisitor’s fault Alistair is dead. Not solely anyway. Most of the blame should lie with the Wardens. Clarel hunted him; pushed him to seek out the Inquisition. So, let them all pay for their grievous errors. Let them all run into the Deep Roads and get fucked by Darkspawn.”

“Alistair would not agree with this.”

“Well he’s not here.”

Leliana’s voice turned to stone, “You need to rest and you need time to grieve. Stay in Skyhold for the meantime. Nanami is a forgiving person. More so than you. If you don’t want to return to the Wardens, I am sure she can find a place for you here.” Leliana paused with her hand on the door knob, “Bri, you’re better than this.”

“Goodnight Lilly.”

“Goodnight.” The door shut behind her and Briana wiped away the tears that sat on the brim of her eyes. When she turned around she found herself nose to nose with a blue-eyed boy with shaggy, unkempt blonde hair. “Who?!”

“You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together... Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements!” Briana stumbled away from the boy. Cole didn’t pursue her, just stayed where he stood, head cocked to the side. “Fun, easy, loving. Two hearts that beat down the same road. A clock over both your heads but it didn’t matter because he could laugh. He knew you. You should have taken him with you. It would have been too dangerous, someone had to be with the Wardens. If only he had sent someone else to help… if only you hadn’t insisted... Everyone knows it’s not your fault.There was no other way it could be. You did all you could.” It had been a long time since Briana Cousland had been thoroughly shaken. Yet Somehow this boy reached deep inside her and remembered things from far too long ago. “You should have made him king but, he was a better Warden. It made him happy.” Cole’s voice was a whisper as he spoke; his big blue eyes looked at her and past her, “Regret, so much regret; like an old sword with too many stains. You’re rusting. Your last words to him should have been I love you but he knew you loved him. He didn’t need the words. You … were the first woman and the last.”

“It’s okay to cry.”

Briana could feel the tears, thick and hot on her cheeks . She looked away from him and tried to hold on to her anger and hatred but, she could feel it falling away. She clutched the long-stemmed rose in fists so tight the thorns were daggers in her skin. The pain only offered her a brief reprieve from the overwhelming emotions that coursed through her like a strong draught of Dwarven ale. “ Are… you a mage?”

The boy shook his head. “No… I’m a spirit , I help people. My name is Cole. I’m a friend.”

“Cole, right, well Cole.” She straightened her posture as she attempted to regain some composure, “I have nothing you can help with. So please...” but whatever she was going to say died on her lips. There was something about what the boy said, the memories; Cole didn’t speak with Alistair’s voice but she could still hear it: lathered in sarcasm and dry humor. Her heart and legs gave way as despair finally won.

She collapsed onto the floor.

The boy had done something to her, hit places deep in her heart that she hadn’t the courage to confront. Her hands gripped the sheets and a hysterical scream echoed off the walls. She hadn’t cried since the night Arl Howe murdered her parents but tonight she wept for everything. She felt the press of another person sitting on the bed. His movements were quiet and light, more like a cat hopping up onto a bed then a boy. He didn’t speak again, just sat and waited as a parent usually does when unable to console their children.

Her whole body trembled as she swallowed the tears in her throat and pushed her hair away from her face, the rose still grappled in one hand. “Please go…”

“I’ll bring someone better. You’ll forget me.”

Moments later she heard the door open and  Leliana rushed in. This time her hair was disheveled and she wore nothing but a warm cotton night shirt. She knelt at Briana’s side wrapping slender arms around her trembling form and running her hands through her hair.

“There, there” She whispered and with some coaxing, helped Briana into bed, “That’s it.”  Leliana pulled the blanket over Briana’s shoulders and then crawled in next to her. She pried the red rose gently out of her hand and set it on the bedside table. Briana had no energy to speak, she just allowed her friend to stay with her and hold her.

In the silence of the small room, Leliana sang.

Shadows fall

And hope has fled.

Steel your heart

The dawn will come.

The night is long

And the path is dark

Look to the sky

For one day soon

The dawn will come…

 

 


	2. And Hope Has Fled

As soon as Nanami came down from her chambers the following morning, she had been rushed into the war room with her advisors so they could discuss Warden Briana Cousland. Before she even finished relaying her account of the events, Cullen turned his anger on Leliana. Since then, The discussion had become a cage fight. Their opinions, feelings, and ideas were as different as a nug and a varghest. Leliana wanted forgiveness, Cullen wanted justice, and Josephine wanted everything to come out smelling like roses. She was glad she had decided to forbid weapons in the war room. Now, their voices had become nothing but a muffled cacophony that rang somewhere behind Nanami’s own thoughts. She’d given up talking long ago and instead stood among them concentrating on a small piece of paper folded in her hands.

Cullen’s fist slammed on the war table making it shake; all the meticulously placed pawns fell and rolled across the floor. “Maker you’re mad! It was an assassination attempt _you_ allowed!” Nanami snapped back to the present; a small pawn rolled towards her boot and she kicked it away as Cullen’ voice filled the war room. “That woman should be in the cells awaiting judgement.”

Leliana’s cheeks were flushed as she stared Cullen down from across the table. He was a good head taller than her but you’d never know it looking at them now. “She’s lost the love of her life. She needs time to grieve. She needs friends, Commander; not your endless interrogations! I stepped in before the Inquisitor was in any real danger. Briana is my friend. She won’t try anything like that again.”

“Both of you calm down,” Josephine interjected. “Cullen is right; she attempted to assassinate the Inquisitor and we cannot overlook that. Just so,” before Cullen could get too smug Josephine turned on him, “We cannot throw the Hero of Ferelden in the cells without backlash from the nobility. She is a hero and her love story with Warden Alistair is romanticized all across Thedas. If it gets out that she blames the Inquisitor and the Inquisition for the events at Adamant…” Josephine sighed and shook her head. She seemed as exasperated as Nanami. “It can put us in an uncomfortable position with Ferelden. Leliana’s own sources confirm there are people still loyal to the Theirin bloodline who look to unseat Anora--especially since the Queen has refused to remarry.”

Annoyed, Josephine rolled her quill between her fingers and pointed it at Cullen and Leliana. “I was able to placate the nobility the first time by telling them that Warden Alistair willingly gave his life for Thedas--which is true, but if his wife doesn’t support us all of that work will have been for nothing. Queen Anora might thank us for Alistair’s death but the nobility, particularly Fergus Cousland and Teagan Guerrin, will not. Briana should stay as an honored guest. She can grieve here where we can watch her and attempt to make amends before she tells all of Thedas the Inquisitor murdered her husband.”

Cullen pounced with a quick retort, “She needs to be held accountable, politics be damned.”

Nanami pocketed the paper and pinched the bridge of her nose as a whole new argument erupted around her. Her eyes locked with Josephine’s who just smiled and let her shoulders rise and fall in a dejected shrug. Nanami wanted to laugh but she was far too discouraged. Instead, she passed her a half smile and let Cullen and Leliana argue.

_This is never-ending and they don’t even realize I’m still here._

When she thought about it, putting Briana in the cells and forcing her to go through the process of judgement made Nanami feel sick and alien in her own skin. The thought of using her as a political pawn made her feel even worse. For once she agreed with Leliana and would have been happy to let Briana walk out of Skyhold without another word.

When Solas left, Nanami had been out-of-sorts for days. One of those days, she walked into Solas’ study and saw Vivienne making preparations to paint over his murals. When confronted, Vivienne had responded, “My dear, to get over a man, you must erase him.” Nanami lost her composure and threatened to have Vivienne escorted out of Skyhold. She didn’t know what could have happened if Varric and Cullen hadn’t been close by and intervened. Eventually, she apologized, but her relationship with Vivienne had never recovered. If Solas had died, she couldn’t deny that she may have acted in a way similar to Briana.

_Judgement should not be for grieving widows._

“I want to speak with her.” Nanami’s voice was weary and even though she was quieter than the three of them, the arguing stopped. and their attention turned to her.

Cullen shook his head. “That’s not wise. She tried to kill you last night. I’ve met the Warden once when she was much younger; she’d be more than willing to take advantage of your kindness.”

“For now, I have to agree with Cullen.” Leliana sighed and rapped her knuckles against the hard oak table, defeated. “I thought I knew her well. But, I have always known her alongside Alistair. He kept her grounded. However, I wouldn’t trust the woman she’s demonstrated she could be without him.”

The three of them were treating Nanami like some kind of porcelain doll. “This is ridiculous. _I’m_ the reason she’s even here so if she’s willing to talk then we will talk. If she wants to fight then...so be it. This time, I’ll be more prepared. I don’t want her jailed; I don’t want her sent away; and I definitely don’t want her put on display for some political statement. We are better than that. The _Inquisition_ is better than that. She’s just lost someone she loves and I know that, on some level, all of us can relate.” Cullen’s cheeks flared a rare shade of red while Leliana ran her hand through her hair and stared down at her boots. Even Josephine had the grace to look embarrassed.

“Warden Cousland is the Hero of Ferelden and, more importantly, she’s Leliana’s friend. She deserves more than being manipulated to make me look good. Besides, I doubt she could be manipulated. So, I want everyone to cooperate. Leliana, go and tell Warden Cousland to come to my chambers. Josie, have the cooks serve breakfast in my room today, and Cullen,” she breathed his name with a pause and a sigh, “please escort Warden Cousland to my chambers.”

With a unanimous “Yes, Inquisitor” and with their egos deflated everyone dispersed to carry out their individual tasks. Nanami stood alone in the war room and embraced the sudden silence that came with their departure. Exasperated, she stooped to pick up all of the fallen pawns and carefully put them back in their proper places on the map. She studied her work and idly rearranged some of them.

_Creators protect me should this turn sour._

When satisfied, she returned to her chambers and changed into her Dalish armor. The weight of the supple dragon leather on her shoulders felt natural; she had spent so many months in it that it felt more a part of her than her own skin. She adjusted the high chain collar and twisted her long black hair into a braid that swung just past her hip. She set her dragon bone staff close to the small dining table, readjusted it so it was just a few inches closer, and then moved it further away. The Warden made her nervous but she didn’t need to show it.

With a wave of her hand, a simple fire spell brought the hearth to life. She enjoyed the cold air the Frostbacks provided but she suspected Briana Cousland wouldn’t. She stared at the small table near the hearth as the kitchen staff scurried around it; adjusting a plate here and adding a napkin there. As the plates of food came in, Nanami shut the great Orlesian glass doors. Through the glass, the morning sun lit up the room and by the time everything was set up, the room was warm.

She took a deep breath and relaxed.

It seemed like a lifetime ago when she and Solas last sat at that table together. That day she had convinced him to try different kinds of tea.

_‘How do you know you won’t like it if you haven’t tried it, Solas?’_  He insisted he wouldn’t and he was right. Every new cup caused his face to scrunch up worse than the last but he had still tried every one.

Just for her. Just to prove a point.

It was one of those rare moments where they were both just people, laughing, without Corypheus looming over them. Between teas he had talked about his journeys in the Fade; what he had learned about the past and their people. In return, she told him what it was like growing up with the Dalish; about her magical training and her family. However, even through his smiles and stories, Nanami could see a heavy sadness that defined him. She had tried to coax it out of him but he always worked around the questions. She assumed he would open up in his own time so she remained patient and let the sadness follow him like a constant companion. In the end, he disappeared from her life as quickly as he had come and she never knew why.

When she closed her eyes she could still feel the pressure of his chin against her shoulder and his safe, strong arms around her. His lips were warm behind her ear and the memory of the way he had touched her when the rest of Skyhold lay sleeping left her limbs tingling and weak.

She opened her eyes when the heavy door to her chambers swung open.

Cullen walked in with Briana. “Lady Inquisitor… the Hero of Ferelden, Lady Briana Cousland.”

Briana stood at Cullen’s side with a grin on her face. “Good man,” She slapped him on the back, “but, really, I could have found my own way. I was here last night, you know.”

His face was painted with annoyance and disapproval; as if Nanami had assigned him to housetrain a new mabari. “Would you like me to stay or...?”

Nanami smiled. His concern for her was touching, even if sometimes overbearing. “I’ll be alright, Cullen. Thank you.” He hesitated but bowed and left the women alone. Briana stood dressed in a simple grey cotton tunic with a white Griffon emblazoned on the front. Her long, chocolate curls were pulled and twisted into a disheveled bun; the red rose ever present.

“Dressed for a fight? I don’t blame you; Cullen wouldn’t let me wear my armor...” Briana clasped her hands behind her back. “About last night, I-”

Nanami raised her hand to silence her.

“Let me.” She pulled out the small piece of paper she had been carrying with her all morning and held it out. “Here.”

Briana, confused, took the paper and glanced over it. “This is my letter to you.” She shrugged her shoulders. “So what?”

Nanami searched for the right words. “In the letter, you asked me to take care of him. You talked of his compassion and your trust in him. I let you down. You asked me for just one favor and I failed. I feel awful for what I did to you and him. I had no good reason for my choice; I just reacted.The fear demon was unlike anything I had seen before. I had to make a choice and I had to make it quickly..” Nanami wrung her hands together and approached Briana with a few cautious steps. “I truly regret the choice I made. As for last night, it’s forgiven.”

Briana folded the letter and gave it back to Nanami. “Here, you keep it. Leliana was right. You’re kinder than I expected.”

Nanami motioned to the dining table. “Please, sit. I thought we could enjoy breakfast while we talked.” Nanami set the letter on her desk and walked over to sit down at the table. “Tell me, what would you have done if I had tried to kill you?”

Briana slid into Solas’ seat. “I would have executed you,”

Nanami’s surprise must have been apparent as Briana responded with a laugh, “I don’t forgive quite as easily. Grieving or not, no one tries to kill me and walks away. You have a gentle reputation, Inquisitor, and I see it isn’t unwarranted.” Briana picked up a piece of meat and shoved it into her mouth. “Please don’t mistake my compliance as forgiveness. I’ve had to make some tough decisions during and after the Blight. While I still blame you and this--” she gestured around the room with no clear point of interest, “--Inquisition, I also understand.”

“Well, you’re not trying to kill me today, I’ll take that as an improvement.” Nanami’s heart still stung when she thought back to Adamant. She needed to make things right with this woman and not just for the Inquisition, but for herself.

Guilt was a hard thing to live with. “Warden Cousland; if you’ll hear it, I have an idea.”

Briana stopped eating and focused her attention on Nanami. That mistrustful gaze returned as she wiped her fingers off on her lap. Her rigid posture and the way her shoulders tensed spoke of a woman who was ready to snap. Briana’s demeanor had improved but Nanami could see Leliana’s influence over the Warden would only extend so far.

“An idea? And it involves _me_?”

“ _For_ you, actually. At Adamant I was able to open a rift and fall into the Fade. I don’t know how I did it but I could try and duplicate the results. I can’t promise that it will work or, even if it does that we will...”

Briana leaned forward in her seat and swamp green eyes bore down on Nanami. “Why would you do that? There’s no way Alistair could survive --”

“For his body,” Nanami interrupted. “I can’t bring him back to life but I can give you closure. A proper burial, a memorial, whatever you need.”

The room remained silent. Briana sat straighter, her eyes dropping to look at the mark on Nanami’s hand. “Well then, it looks like we have a trip to plan for. Get your affairs in order, Inquisitor.” She leaned back in her seat with a complacent smile on her face. “This has been an interesting morning.”

~ ~ ~

That afternoon, Nanami found herself in the stables. She sat on edge of one of the stalls admiring her red hart as it grazed on the hay and oats in its feeding bin. Sera was standing behind her, staring a hole into the back of her head. “That’s a daft idea innit?”. Nanami didn’t have to look to know that Sera stood with her arms crossed and her hip cocked to one side in heavy disapproval. “You -- you're jus’ goin’ to walk into the Fade again with all those demons and… spirits and… shite, it’s just mad. You’re mad! All you mages are crazy... why are you tellin’ me this anyway?”

“Well...” Nanami turned around so she could speak directly to Sera. “I was hoping you’d come along?”

The laughter that erupted from the blonde, freckled elf was sudden and loud and not at all pleasant. “Get off! Yeah right, Quizzy. I’m not goin’. Not if I gotta choice. You’re gonna end up dead, or possessed, or demon food, yeah? I know why that warden would want to go--she’s gotta death wish, but you?”

“I’m responsible for what happened.”

“Fuck that. You’re the Inquisitor. You can do whatever you want. Bugger the rest. This is stupid, _you’re_ bein’ stupid.” Sera kicked an empty stall door shut; the loud slam of the wood against the iron lock startled the other horses. “Wait...” her big eyes lit up. She looked at Nanami again and pointed at her with a long, accusing finger. “This is about Mr. Elven Glory innit? He was always goin’ on ‘bout the Fade and how wonderful demons were. You think you might find him there, yeah? You wanna rekindle that magicy-spirity romance. Gross.”

Nanami hopped off the stall door. “This has nothing to do with Solas.”

“Right. And I’m the Queen of Ferelden.”

“Anora will be loathe to hear it.”

Sera scoffed with a scowl that rivaled Cassandra. “He chose to leave, remember? He’s a tit. A shitty, skinny, bald, demon-fucking, tit and you don’t need to go hopping into the Fade to figure that out. _You_ need a rebound. I hear Bull’s good at _relaxin'_   the ladies… not sayin‘ I tried or anything… just hear things. Or, yanno, Cullen’s got nice hair.” Nanami rubbed her face. Her sigh was heavy and came from deep within her chest. Sera’s brand of honesty was exhausting. Nanami appreciated her directness, though she could do without the added jibes at Solas.

“Sera, do you have to scold me today, too?” Nanami smiled and wrapped an arm around Sera’s shoulders. Sera sucked her teeth and shrugged her off. With an elven grace she would swear she didn’t possess, Sera pressed her hands into the wood and swung up onto a fence post. She sat, swinging her legs back and forth.

_She would have made an excellent Dalish hunter._

“Look Quizzy; I’m not scoldin’ you--or maybe I am.” She shrugged. “Don’t matter, right? Everyone else will think it’s stupid too-- they just won’t tell you.”

“So you’re not going to come with me?”

Sera groaned, “More magic, demons, and weird shit I don’t understand?” She lifted her head to the sky to stare up the the sun beating down on her face. “Fuck. Yeah…I’ll come. Only because I don’t trust that hero not to stick her sword in you the minute you’re alone.”

“Your confidence in me is staggering, Sera.”

Sera shrugged her shoulders and hopped off the fence. “Not my fault you trust every assassin that walks into Skyhold. Anyway, if I’m goin’ I better go make sure Dagna makes those arrows I like. You know the ones that go ‘BAM!’ and freeze and explode. I’ll be ready to kick demon ass.” Sera tromped away from the stables and towards the forge. Nanami could hear her complaining; something about demons and nightmares and ‘sticking it in Solas’ ass’. Sera swung her fists in front of her and disappeared around a corner.

The red hart lifted its head and pressed his nose to her shoulder, Nanami turned around and brushed her hand over his face. “I haven’t forgotten you.” His large, brown eyes and soft, warm breath reminded her of her years with the Dalish when she spent most of her time tending the aravels. Her clan even had a hart of their own. It wasn’t as grand as the ones that the Inquisition housed but it was gentle and kind.

Nanami pressed her forehead against the hart’s and stroked his cheek. In the background, she could hear the sound of clashing swords in the training yard and the merchants hawking their wares. Above them all, she heard Cullen roaring at the new recruits. The stables were the only place she could find a moment of peace anymore. Leaving Skyhold without an escort always caused more trouble than it was worth and the silence in the Chantry was deafening and pushed her out; it wasmore foreign to her than anywhere else.

_The Herald of Andraste feeling unwelcome in the Chantry._

Nanami smiled at the irony. She served the Elven Gods and no amount of heraldry would change that. She breathed another deep, calming breath and focused on the sound of a bird singing nearby. Smaller song birds rarely found their way to Skyhold. It was far too cold for most and the ones that did live in the area were too afraid of Leliana’s ravens to approach. It made her happy to know that something so small and delicate could still be so brave, however, she knew small moments like these never lasted long. Eventually, she’d have to tell Josephine, Leliana, and Cullen about her plan to re-enter the Fade and, after the meeting this morning, she knew their reactions would not be favorable.

~ ~ ~

Briana was sweating in her dragon mail. Today was an especially warm day for being so high in the Frostbacks. The recruits smelled of musk, leather, and steel; they were gathered around in their training gear waiting for the fight to begin.

Briana’s hair was pulled into a tight bun to keep the mess out of her face though rebel strands still fell around her ears and down her neck. She had looked at the poor squire with disdain when he gave her a blunted great axe. When she had asked for a fight she hadn’t expected blunted weapons.

_Poor kid, it’s not his fault. It’s his..._

Her attention focused on her opponent and his fluffy, fur-collared coat. “Fancy yourself a lion, Commander? You were barely more than a mewling kitten last time I saw you. Cute one, though.” She swung her axe to get a feel for its balance. “Also, you’re holding your shield wrong.” Whispers rippled across the yard as Briana lowered her axe, her grin was spread from ear to ear.

“You can’t intimidate me, Warden. Didn’t your husband teach you anything?” Cullen smacked the front of his shield with his blunted sword. “You’re the one who insisted on fighting.”

“That was before you gave me blunted steel.” Briana took the great axe in both hands and lazily adjusted her stance. She held the head of the axe pointed back and down as if she were going to swing it like a bat.

“I’m sorry, but the Inquisitor wouldn’t be pleased if I killed you.” His lips curled into a half smile.

Briana rolled her eyes. “Oh ho!” She barked.“Gotten cocky in your old age?”

“Not as cocky as you, it seems.”

“Oh, well, after killing an Archdemon and saving your sorry ass from a bunch of blood mages…I think I have that right.” Before Cullen could form a rebuttal, Briana pivoted on the balls of her feet; her axe swung towards Cullen’s shield. He lifted his shield and stepped to the side; the blow scraped against his shield but was otherwise rendered useless.

She scoffed, “Well, I guess your shield work is _ok_.”

From behind his shield, Cullen thrust his sword towards Briana’s abdomen. She dropped the axe down until her palm rested at the base of its head and angled the haft causing Cullen’s sword to graze across the plated metal, barely missing its target. The sound of steel scraping against steel rang through the ears of the spectators. As Briana danced to the side, she stepped close to Cullen and, as he raised his shield to protect himself, she wedged the handle of the axe under Cullen’s shield to throw his arms over his head and disarm him; Cullen’s sword went sliding across the hard dirt, well out of reach. Briana struck his ribs with the haft of her axe leaving him winded and stumbling back, putting some distance between him and her.

He regained his composure quicker than she expected. Unphased at the loss of his sword, Cullen lifted his shield and slammed it into her. Briana was barely able to drop her axe in front of her for protection before his shield connected with the head of her axe.

_Cullen is a damned ox._

The shock of the shield against the axe vibrated from her arms to her gut. Her grip threatened to slip but she pushed back. Her feet slid against the hard dusty ground as she struggled to keep Cullen from advancing. The men cheered for their commander.

_Can’t have that._

An axe never made for a good shield. When Cullen gave one final push he was able to knock Briana off her feet and send her falling onto her side. The thud against the ground was a mix of flesh and metal. When she stood up, blood pooled on her tongue from a cut inside of her cheek. She spat blood into the dirt and the crowd cheered. Money started exchanging hands when it looked like the Commander stood a chance against the Hero. Briana could imagine Leliana up in her roost, looking down on the spectacle and being entirely disappointed.

Now, Cullen was the one smiling. “You should really work on your stance.”

“Shut up.” Briana lifted her axe and came at Cullen again. She swept from the side. When it connected with his shield she expected the impact. This time she found her footing and used Cullen’s strength against him to maneuver behind him. Her foot connected with the back of his knee and his legs crumpled beneath him. She stepped in front of him again and slammed her heel into his abdomen. His armor crunched under the force of her kick and she sent him onto his back. Briana jumped on his chest and held the axe inches from his head.

“Do you yield, Commander?”

“That was dirty.”

“No.” She panted, “That was winning. Anything it takes, remember?” Warden Cousland lifted the axe up and slammed it down so it embedded itself in the ground next to the Commander’s head. She always was a fan of theatrics. The crowd erupted in surprised and good cheer. Her blood raced in her veins, making her skin tingle with excitement; loose strands of hair were stuck to the side of her neck and each breath made her lungs burn.

_Anything…_

Even surrounded by cheer and praise, something sudden and angry twisted inside her and she stepped off Cullen’s chest. She offered him her hand and, when he grabbed it, she yanked him to his feet before walking away from the crowd. Money was being passed this way and that. Some had put too much faith in their commander and reluctantly gave up their gold. A few arms reached out from the crowd and clapped her on the shoulder or smacked her on the back. Generally, Briana loved to bask in victory but an anxiousness had closed in and she just wanted to run.

Compared to last night her heart felt lighter but a strong ebb of loss and hopelessness still pushed against her heart. However, when she thought about going after Nanami again, it no longer seemed necessary. She stopped a few yards from the training grounds and removed the rose from her hair. Since Wynne had enchanted it for her during the Blight, Briana had never been without it. Her fingers touched the smooth red petals as she lifted it to her nose and breathed deeply. It was still perfectly intact. Not a petal out of place.

Alistair had compared her to it once. Since then, she had killed a little boy, forced Alistair into bed with Morrigan, and let an intelligent darkspawn walk free. None of these things were the deeds of heroes and, yet, that’s what everyone called her.

_A hero. He would tell me that I am exactly the same; perfect. “Don’t trouble yourself, Love, people won’t think about those deeds.” But they should, Alistair. They really should._

He always saw the best in her even when she couldn’t. He made her laugh when everything else was falling apart. Alistair was the only one who kept the Wardens from swallowing up the last piece of ‘her’ she had been able to maintain. The road ahead was empty and desolate without him. A part of her was searching for a way to walk down that road alone, and having Lilly close by made it seem possible. Her friends were scattered to the wind with their own lives. It had been too long since Briana had been around people she trusted. At least with Lilly around she didn't feel so guarded. The hatred Briana carried with her to Skyhold was nothing but a dull ache.

_Maybe I could find a place here._

“Warden Commander.” Cullen called from behind. She slipped the rose back into her hair and faced him.

“I didn’t beat you too badly, did I?” smirking, she crossed her arms over her chest.

“No, but you may have garnered some new recruits after that display.”

“Noted.”

“I have something I want to say.”

Briana shrugged her shoulders. “Then say it.”

“Thank you. I wanted to say thank you for saving the Circle all those years ago. You saved a lot of good people, mage and templar alike. Even if I didn’t know it then, your actions saved me as well. While he was here at Skyhold, I talked to Alistair and trained with him. Your husband was a good man-- a little strange, but a good man and a talented Warden. He always spoke fondly of you.”

She rolled her eyes but found herself surprised. She knew he talked about her. He even talked about her to her sometimes. Then, she realized it was Cullen’s tone. It was in the softness of his voice and the trepidation in his words that Briana found strange. She never expected sympathy from a man like him.

The first time Briana had met Cullen he had begged her to kill all the mages in Kinloch Hold. She was so angry and fed up that she almost did. Briana was certain the tower would fall to blood mages again. It would have been easier to kill them than to have another crisis in a few months. Only Alistair had been able to to stay her hand and convince her that saving the lives of innocents was worth the risk of another crisis. When she refused the massacre, Cullen had become paranoid and aggressive. Now here he was, thanking her and sympathizing with her. He was a different person; he was more confident and less afraid now that he had joined the Inquisition. Somewhere deep inside she could hear Alistair whispering ‘I told you so’.

Those old memories made her blood run cold and her mouth dry. “I’m glad I didn’t listen. I’m also glad to see you turned out so well. Alistair was worried about you for awhile after the events in the tower.”

“He was?”

“Yeah, he was worried that your dependence on lyrium might worsen after everything you went through and was probably happy to know you weren’t taking it at all anymore. He really resented what the Chantry did to your men. Luckily, he never had to suffer like the rest, but I imagine it was something that stuck with him.”

  
Cullen grew quiet. “We never really talked about that while he was here. But, thank you for telling me. I ... really should be off. Again, I’m sorry for your loss Warden Cousland, Thedas lost a good man.”

“And your Inquisition killed a good man. Thank you for the talk, Commander.” Briana headed towards her chambers. She needed to be alone.

~ ~ ~

Days passed before Nanami revealed her plan to re-enter the Fade to her advisors. Cullen and Josephine had reacted as poorly as expected. She had been counting on Leliana’s support but she soon discovered that Leliana had written to Cassandra and, within days, the new Divine had demanded that the Inquisitor ‘not provoke magic which she barely understood’. This caused unprecedented backlash in the War Room. By the end of the argument, Nanami and Cullen stood stubbornly opposed to each other. Nanami insisted on going; Cullen was so livid that he threatened to lock her in the cells; and Josephine had begun planning for Armageddon. Leliana stood in stoic silence.

After escaping her own Inquisition, Nanami wrote to Dorian. She was almost worried that her letter hadn’t reached Dorian or, worse, that he had no answers for her. Although he returned to Tevinter, the two of them kept in constant correspondence. He was doing his best to reform his country but so far made little progress towards improvement, so, as a side project and favor, Nanami had asked Dorian to look into rifts and see what he could learn. Remembering his work with Alexius and time magic, she felt Dorian had the curiosity and Tevinter bravado to study the rifts at the level of detail she required.Vivienne was far too cautious and Solas was nowhere to be found. Besides, Dorian also had access to more tomes on magic than she ever would. Tevinter, being what it was, had countless books of magic that were simply inaccessible to her. She would prefer to search for answers herself but running the Inquisition made it impossible. Between the politics and paperwork she barely had time to close the rifts let alone study them.

Thankfully, a letter arrived with the seal of House Pavus already broken.

_Of course Leliana would read it._

While a steady breeze blew in from the Frostbacks, Nanami settled in behind her desk to read the letter.

_Nanami,_  
_I am sorry for the delay. I know you asked for a quick response but I do love to keep my admirers waiting. Besides, scattered Venatori, Magisters with blood magic, and clumsy assassination attempts have kept me very busy. It seems some of your survivability has rubbed off on me. It’s been fun._  
_So, how is Skyhold? Dreary and cold and boring without me to lighten the mood I suspect. Has Cullen returned to being rigid and unyielding? I think that last game of Wicked Grace was the most relaxed I had ever seen him! It would be a shame for him to lose what little humour he had gained. How about your search for Solas; any progress? Not that Leliana would let you tell me anyway. Oh, by the way, hello Leliana. I know you’re reading this and that’s rude._  
_I’m (almost) hurt._

_Now, to business. What are you thinking? This is by far the worst idea you’ve had since, well, I can’t remember when you had a bad idea (though I am sure they are plentiful). Look, I know the Fade has its appeals; demons, a nice view of the Black City, everything is a beautiful shade of neon green, and oh, let’s not forget the demons. They’re worth mentioning twice. I don’t recommend building a summer home there. Instead, let me recommend the Fallowmire or Crestwood. The undead and barbarians will give you the excitement you crave without the demonic possession._

_Furthermore, I don’t understand why you feel so responsible for Warden Cousland’s feelings. People die, people grieve, and they move on. I’ve always admired your ability to empathize with your enemies but this is going a little too far. However, if you insist on playing the hero again I can’t stop you._  
_The rifts do seem to function as a gateway. You said you wanted to avoid creating another breach so, instead of opening your own rift, you may be able to use your mark to enter through an existing one. If demons can jump out of it I don’t see why you can’t jump in. Now, I’ve discovered nothing new about that mark on your hand._

_Evidence shows that, you should be able to pass through the pre-existing rifts into the Fade with the use of your mark. That’s what Corypheus wanted to do with it; so you should be able to replicate it. But, for all I know, trying to make a rift larger might cause another breach and the Venatori don’t need a reason to think that Corypheus has returned and, Maker forbid, try to enter the Fade themselves. The consequences might be more trouble than you’re prepared for; is the life of one Grey Warden really worth all of this life threatening hassle?_

_Don’t go getting yourself killed; or me. I have worked very hard to stay alive and I’d like to keep it that way._

_Say ‘hello’ to the Hero of Ferelden for me. If nothing else, she sounds...fun._

_Love,_  
_Dorian Pavus_

Nanami smiled and read over the letter once more. Without Dorian and Mother Giselle at each other's throats, life had been a lot less exciting. There was nothing quite like being called out of the War Room to settle an argument before they chased every dignitary out of Skyhold.

_The two of them could never find common ground._

She set the letter aside, a little disappointed.

_All I have are flimsy theories…_

Even Solas, who had spent more time in the Fade than any of them, hadn’t had answers. What she had been hoping to hear from Dorian was wildly unrealistic and another breach was something she wanted to avoid. She held the mark in front of her face and stared at the soft, glowing green light. She swore she could close rifts in her sleep she had done it so often but she had only ever opened one at Adamant.

_A breach didn’t appear that time...I need to at least try._

Nanami glared at the books piled on the corner of her desk. She had removed all of them from Solas’ study and found nothing useful. Most of the texts were written in ancient Elven and, to her, it was completely illegible. The books she could read held no information about the Mark. Most were just familiar stories about the elven gods. She pulled a book from the top of the pile and began to sift through the pages.

_Just another book of tales._

Nanami pushed her back into the plush cushion, pulled her feet up onto the chair, and set the book in the space between her legs and chest. She opened it to a page Solas had bookmarked. It was an old, well known story of Fen’harel. The Betrayal. The artist's rendition of a big black wolf sat satisfied and alone in an empty, nondescript, elven hall.

_Of all the stories Solas would be interested in…_

She turned to the page and began reading. When she finished, she filtered through several other stories Solas had marked, all of them included or referenced the Dread Wolf. Some she was familiar with while others were new. To her surprise, some even painted him as some kind of hero. When she reached the final page, she shut the book and rose from her seat.

“What do these stories have to do with anything, Solas?” She looked up from her book to the empty table near the hearth almost expecting him to be there to answer her question.

Stretching, she pulled her hair back, straightened her tunic, and left her desk. Nanami exited the long, winding path that lead away from her room and shut the heavy door. The Inquisitor’s throne sat in front of her, higher than everything else.

Her eyes lingered on the chair. She had never wanted that chair. She never reached for power. She had only wanted to survive. Then surviving became helping people; from there the title of Inquisitor had been thrust upon her. She didn’t even know why she stayed. Sense of obligation, perhaps. If she ever decided to step down, there was no one else qualified to fill her shoes, no one else who could close rifts, and no one else that the people would follow so blindly.

She tried to recall who she had been before a hole appeared in the sky, but the memories of her clan were cloudy and distant voices. She used to always sleep under the stars on clear nights. She enjoyed her Dalish life; it was peaceful. The forest was quiet and there was never any trouble beyond rare encounters with hostile humans. Now, with this throne behind her and the Mark on her hand, people never seemed to stop looking at her. She was the most influential elf in all of Thedas, but it all came with a price. With a wave of her hand she could change the world though she was still confined to this gilded cage. She was an elf, trapped in high stone walls, forced to play the Shemlen’s games. She could do what she wanted when she wanted, so long as she was surrounded by guards and spies.

_I barely understand who I am anymore. A piece of me was left with the Dalish, another piece ran off with Solas, and what, the rest belongs to Thedas now?_

The guard beside her throne stood silent with his eyes focused down the long crowded hall in front of him. “Call a meeting in the War Room, immediately.” Without even a reply the guard went in search of her advisors.

Nanami took the steps two at a time before disappearing behind the door that led to Josephine’s office and the War Room. She stopped to address Josephine, who was sitting at her desk with a pile of papers in front of her. Her thick black hair was arranged in it’s usual ornate bun, but it seemed a little more disheveled than usual. “Josie, meeting in the War Room.”

“Yes Inquisitor, I’ll be right there.” Josie barely acknowledged her.

Nanami walked through Josephine’s office and down the cool stone hall. This was always the most serene area in Skyhold. The soft, dim candles reflected off the old stone walls and created big black monsters that rose all the way to the ceiling. The sound of ravens cawing in the rafters and the click of her boots were all she heard between Josephine’s office and the War Room.

She stopped in the middle of the hall. Thoughts of the Dalish, Solas, Briana, the Fade, Adamant… they all pounded in her brain fighting for equal attention, causing her to reel. To calm the battle in her mind, she focused on a raven high in the rafters. Its wings ruffled as it flew from beam to beam and its nails scratched against the ancient wood. When she finally felt the stone floor turn solid beneath her feet she continued into the war room. She was often the last one there but today was different. With everyone else gone the emptiness was palpable..

Nanami could see the tension in their faces when Cullen, Josie, and Leliana walked in.. The four of them stood there, staring at each other. She had called the meeting but even she wasn’t quite sure what to say to them other than what already had been. “I can’t leave knowing all of you are still upset with me. We all work for the good of the Inquisition but, more than that, we are friends.” She paused to gauge their reactions but they all waited for her to continue. “I know this decision is dangerous, but this is something I need to do.”

Josephine spoke first. “I understand, Inquisitor, but you know the danger this puts you in. What will we do if you don’t return? This is an unneeded risk.”

  
“We don’t know what expanding another rift will do to Thedas, and Divine Victoria has forbade it.” Even though Cullen spoke calmly, Nanami could see his concern and anxiety in the way he stood: straight and rigid, while his soft hazel eyes were pleading with her to relent.

“It would be unwise to rebel against the new Divine while she consolidates her power,” Josephine interjected. “I know that this is a personal matter to you, Inquisitor. You feel you owe Warden Cousland something but _this_ is too dangerous. Let’s have a memorial service or sponsor a donation to the Ferelden Grey Wardens in his name. We needn’t turn to insanity to solve this.”

“That’s _it_!” Nanami’s body didn’t quite know how to react to anger; it wasn’t something she felt often. The first time she broached the subject with them, the meeting ended with Nanami feeling mildly frustrated. Even towards her enemies, she had always managed to remain even-keeled. Her Keeper had taught her that controlling her impulses were key to controlling her magic. Since she was a child, she had never let anger get the best of her. She had never wanted to hurt anyone, so she studied and practiced until she could control her emotions as well as she could her magic.

But now she found that the Inquisition had finally pushed her past her training. Her hands clenched into little fists and her foot slammed into the ground. A jolt of ice shot out from under her foot and, like a spider, crawled across the stone floor. The Mark pulsed power up her arm giving her an extra boost of assertiveness. “In the name of the Creators, I don’t care what Cassandra wants me to do. Her opinion cannot sway me more than yours. You are here with me; every day we work together and laugh together. I regard very few people as highly as I do you. It would do Cassandra well to remember who put her on that throne and who can take it away. Furthermore, if we want to talk about personal favors, should I remind you of everything I have done for you?”

She turned on Josephine first, who was stunned by Nanami’s sudden outburst. “I protected your family and made sure they were financially and socially stable. I used Inquisition resources to make sure your family was safe.”

Her anger focused on Cullen. It faltered briefly but it wasn’t enough to stop her. “I helped you through your Lyrium withdrawal when it would have been easier and perhaps wiser to force you to take it again. I helped you find resolution with Samson because I believe in your strength, Cullen. You are a loyal and wonderful person. I had hoped, out of the everyone, you would understand my need for atonement.” Cullen walked away from the group and moved to look at the war table, scratching the back of his neck as he often did when he was nervous or ashamed.

The strength in her voice came again but she restrained her desire to yell. “I helped all of you when you needed help. I didn’t even hesitate to do it because I consider all of you friends. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world; I don’t need your approval but I need your support. I have been Inquisitor Lavellan for far too long and I need to just be… Nanami... for awhile, and that person needs to right some of the wrongs done by the Inquisitor. Leaving Alistair in the Fade after all the help he gave us was wrong; I should have stood with him. If I can help Warden Cousland move forward then at least I can say I’ve done the best I could for the most important person Alistair left behind when he _sacrificed his life for the Inquisition_.” Nanami walked over to Cullen who was still concentrating on the map, she reached out and held his hand in hers. His gaze fell on her and his posture straightened. She smiled up at him and she gave his hand a light squeeze. “Please, try to understand.”

He tore his attention away from her and set a small pawn on the map in the center of the Korcari Wilds. “We’ve received reports of incidents involving demons wandering out of the Wilds. While the Wilds are not exactly known for their safety, we suspect there might be a rift in the area. If you wanted to test your mark... that may be the safest place to do it.”

Nanami’s heart soared and the corners of her lips turned upwards. “Thank you.”

Josephine sighed and looked down at her ledger. “Well… it could improve our relations with Ferelden. If you were successful, we’d not only have the Hero of Ferelden’s loyalty but the Wardens of Ferelden as well. It could be beneficial.” When she heard Josephine, her smile grew. She walked to her friend and hugged her; Josephine sucked in a surprised breath and then laughed, “Oh, Inquisitor this is highly inappropriate,” but she hugged her in return. “I do expect you to come home.”

“Of course I will.”

Leliana still lingered behind Josephine in silence. Her short red hair peeked out from her hood as she pushed herself off the wall to address Nanami. “You have always had my support, Inquisitor. I still don’t know that I approve of this but… you are helping a dear friend of mine and for that, I thank you.” She gave Nanami a rare smile and moved to stand beside Cullen. She looked at the map and nodded. “It’s a good location, Cullen. Briana is familiar with the Wilds. She and Alistair fought Darkspawn there for her Joining. Also, the Battle of Ostagar was there.” She pointed to an area a little north of Cullen’s pawn. “Morrigan is the only other person I know who would know the area better than Bri.”

“We can send out a message to Arls in the area. They can house you and provide you with protection while you travel.” Josephine offered as she approached, taking her place at Nanami’s side.

“No need. I don’t want to take an entire troop of our people into the Wilds. We don’t know what’s there and, since the Blight, I imagine it is more dangerous than ever. Warden Cousland, Sera, and myself will go on our own. I don’t want to involve the Arls, either. It will be easier to manage if it’s just a few of us.”

“I am coming with you,” Cullen interjected.

The unexpected offer surprised Nanami and it showed on her face. “Cullen, while I appreciate it, you’re needed here.”

“There’s nothing that needs my immediate attention. If you are walking into the Fade again you’ll need more protection than Sera and Briana.”

“Afraid I’ll be possessed?”

“While it’s not out of the realm of possibilities, no. I’m not too concerned about that. I am more concerned, however, about this fear demon you told us about. Last time you were there you had Alistair, Hawke, Varric, Cassandra, and Solas and it was still too much for you. I’d feel better if I were there.”

“The demon no longer has Corypheus feeding it. It should be significantly weakened by now.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to have a templar with you. Cullen has experience fighting demons,” Josephine interposed.

“I agree. While Sera is good with a bow and Briana has the stamina of a dragon, an ex-templar would tilt the scale in your favor against demons,” Leliana added.  
Cullen waited for a response with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Ok, if it will make all of you happy; Cullen, you can come.”

“While I’m not exactly _happy_ , it does put my mind at ease.”

Nanami smiled, glad to have them all on with her again. She felt herself relaxing. “Thank you, everyone. Really. I appreciate it.”

“Inquisitor, what should we tell Divine Victoria?” Josephine picked up her quill and placed it on a sheet of blank parchment, waiting.

“That I took my friends on a picnic.”

Leliana laughed. “We will hear her scoff all the way from Val Royeaux.”

“Only because she will be jealous she’s missing out.” Nanami laughed. “Sleep well tonight, Cullen. We leave in the morning.”


	3. Steel Your Heart

In the valley below Skyhold, Briana sat with Sera on a wooden fence overlooking vast, green pastures littered with Inquisition mounts. The sun was just peeking through the mountains in the east and the grass was still wet with morning dew and half melt patches of snow. Briana pointed to an isolated pasture far away from them. In it stood a tall, black, emaciated horse with skin devoid of fur stretched over its bones and a sword embedded in its skull. “I want that one.”

“That one?” Sera’s lips curled in a manner that usually preceded vomiting “It’s a demon; even the Inquisitor doesn’t ride it, yeah? Look at it! It’s separated from all the others. I mean… it’s got a  _sword_ through its head and you can _see_ its bones. That isn’ right. It don’t even eat. Just stands there and… _stares_.” Sera’s whole body shuddered so, she turned her attention to the rest of the horses.

Briana laughed as she watched Sera out of the corner of her eye. “It’s so _unique_ ; I’ve never seen anything else like it.”

Sera’s laugh came with a snort loud enough to startle a few grazing horses. “It looks blighted yeah? The Wardens would shit themselves.”

Nanami stepped out of the tack room with her saddle propped on her shoulder. “What are you two laughing about?”

Briana turned her attention from the pasture to Nanami. “Apparently, Wardens shitting themselves.”

Sera was thrown into another fit of snorting laughter. “Warden Cousland wants to take that Bog demon.”

Nanami laughed. “You can’t take that one. I don’t want to attract too much attention while we travel but, if you’d like, I’ll gift it to you when we return.” She tossed the saddle onto the fence and slipped the bridle around the horn.

Briana grinned. “The Wardens will be pissed if I brought that back with me.” She could see them: faces hardened and displeased with their arms crossed, jaws set and teeth clenched as she pranced it around Weishaupt. “I’ll take it.”

“Good.” Nanami slung a halter over her shoulder and gathered a lead line. “Master Dennet will be pleased. I recommend one of the harts or horses as the dracolisks can be hard to handle around regular mounts.”

Briana’s smile twisted into a frown. “How boring. Well Sera, what’ll it be?”

Sera scanned the pasture and pointed at a handsome dappled palomino with a bald face. “That one, yeah? Dennet says he’s a breed from the Free Marches or somethin’. I’m not picky, right but, once Dorian, Bull,n’ me had a race and that horse won. He’s fast not scared of my arrows.”

Briana nodded. “How about you Inquisitor?”

Nanami whistled into the field. Her red hart raised its massive, antlered head and came trotting towards the gate. “This hart has been with me since I came to the Inquisition. I don’t ride any of the others.” She slipped the halter over the animal’s head and opened the gate to lead him out. “You two should choose and start packing. Cullen won’t be happy if we are late on the first day.” Briana looked at Cullen a few feet away who was already brushing a blood bay Warmblood with heavy hooves and a thick, black mane and tail. She returned her attention to the pasture as Nanami collected her things and led her hart to the hitching posts.

Sera hopped down from the fence and grabbed a halter for herself. “Well, Warden? What’ll you take?”

“The battle nug.”

“No!” Cullen and Nanami responded in unison.  Sera exploded into laughter and walked away while Briana contemplated the rest of her, admittedly boring, options.

Briana hopped off the fence. “I guess the Ferelden Forder will have to do.” She picked up a halter and followed Sera into the pasture.

“Really? The Anderfel Courser, uh, that one--” She pointed at a brown and white painted horse towards the middle of the field, “--was bred for Grey Wardens, right?”

“Huh, you’d think the Grey Warden horse would be… Grey. You really like horses don’t you, Sera?”

Sera directed her attention away from Briana and chewed on her bottom lip. “I come down here a lot, yeah? And Master Dennet likes to talk. I picked up a few things cause I listen. Don’t matter really.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I loved horses as a girl; I grew up with the Ferelden Forder in Highever. I wasn’t a Warden until much later.”

“Shite. I forgot you was a Lord’s daughter, too. My people say your people are a good sort.”

“Oh right; Red Jenny. You have people keeping an eye on my brother in Highever?”

Sera gave a curt nod, “Yeah, that’s us.” and departed to fetch her horse.

Briana approached the Forder, the large bay horse lifted its head from a patch of green grass and flared its nostrils. She slid the halter over its ears. She began to lead it towards the gates and crisp cool air filled her lungs.

Her mother had panicked the first time Briana’s father put her on a horse _‘Bryce don’t let her fall!’. She’s my only girl!’_ It was only a few weeks later that she and her brother, Fergus, had snuck out late at night to race around the entire castle. Right before she won, her horse slid on a patch of mud and she fell, breaking her arm on a sharp rock. Her father was furious and they both had been forbidden to ride until her arm healed. However, unbeknownst to her parents, Briana was back on her horse within a week.

A small smile crawled across her face. It was rare to recall memories from so long ago and even rarer to see her parents faces happy and smiling.The Blight had consumed her and left little room for anything that came before it. Sometimes, she would wake up sweating and screaming with Alistair’s arms wrapped tight around her to stop her thrashing. She’d often leave him bruised and scratched but he never complained. On nights like those all she heard were the deep, guttural growls of darkspawn and the call of Urthemiel.

Then there was the song. The soft, haunting melody that crept into her dreams and hummed behind her thoughts. Not even Alistair knew about that. Soon, she’d have to prepare for her journey into the Deep Roads or continue to follow a few leads to the cure.

A different problem for a different day.

Her heart pounded in her chest and her fists clenched so that her knuckles turned white. Briana ran her hand down the horse’s sleek, brown neck and took a stabilizing breath.  

Since her initial meeting with Nanami, she spent quite a bit of time helping Cullen with new recruits or in the Chantry with Leliana. Her initial anger had subsided; now all that was left was a dull ache she knew would never go away. Her hand reached up to touch the rose in her hair and, when she felt its soft petals against her fingertips, she sighed.

_Maker guide me._

She opened the gate and walked towards the hitching posts. Nanami and Sera were laughing while Cullen tried to scold Sera for some prank she had just pulled. He seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face himself. Briana tied her horse to the post and reached over to grab a brush out of Cullen’s bin. She listened to them argue back and forth; it was like watching Zev, Lilly, and Alistair all over again. As with them, Briana was happy to stay a silent bystander and watch them while she worked.

It wasn’t until everyone was quiet again that Briana spoke. “The Blight could have ended more smoothly if I’d had a horse.”

Cullen smirked. “You mean to tell me Arl Eamon didn’t offer you a horse?”  

Briana rolled her shoulders. “Nope. Not one. Then again he was in a demon induced coma for a majority of the Blight… and his city was overrun with undead.” She shook her brush in Nanami’s direction. “You are spoiled. You have everything you could possibly need.” She managed to attract the attention of Nanami’s hart who snorted at her with its mouth full of hay.

_Damn harts are the Dalish mabari. Sharp as a whip._

“I assure you it wasn’t easy.” She could hear Nanami but could barely see her behind her mount. “Though, that explains a lot about Alistair. When we rode out to Adamant Fortress we gave Alistair the Anderfel Courser. So, after a few pointed jokes about the horse not being grey...” Nanami had to walk around to the other side of the animal so Briana could see her: tan-skinned and dressed in her Dalish robes with her black hair plaited into a long rope. “He managed to fall off… _three times_. He failed to tell us that he had only ridden a horse twice in his life.”

Briana interrupted Nanami with a laugh. “That’s true. Once, when he was a boy and left for the Chantry and again, when he and I left for Weisshaupt after the Blight.” She pulled the cinch tight around the horse’s belly. “If he only fell three times, that was an improvement.”

“Maker, I remember that.” Cullen ran a hand through his hair and chuckled.  “When we made camp my men were scrambling to teach him. The thought that _they_ could teach a hero of the Blight something? That inspired them more than I ever could. They spent half the night trying to teach him and the other half telling stories. Though I’m not sure they helped in the end; Alistair took his second fall half way to Adamant the next day.”

“He always had terrible balance outside of fighting.” Briana grew silent and her smile softened as she tied bags to the back of her saddle.

It was Sera’s turn to interject. “Them stories weren’t _really_ scary, yeah?”

Nanami pulled herself into her saddle and Sera did the same. “Sera, you made me share my tent with you that night. You thought a pack of flesh eating nugs were going to burst from the bushes and kill everyone.”

With a snorted laugh Sera slapped her knee and took a fist full of reins. “Ha! Yeah...that pissed Solas off. He had to be the nug bait and sleep outside.”

“Yes, Sera,  _that’s_ why Solas was angry. Not because you wouldn’t even let him use your tent.” Briana watched Nanami’s smile fade; it was a look Briana was all too familiar with.

“Well if the nugs were gonna eat anyone it had to be him! Besides, I didn’t want his weird bald head in my tent. That’s jus’ wrong. He shoulda packed his own.”

Cullen spoke again, his voice softer and more cautious than before. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, Warden.”

“Enough of this Warden business, Cullen. Call me Briana.” She slipped her foot into the stirrup and pulled herself into the saddle with ease. She rocked back and forth to test the girth and the horse groaned beneath her. She patted its neck and returned her attention to Cullen. “It’s alright, really. That’s how I want to remember him; falling off horses and making people laugh. So, please, don’t stop telling stories on my account.”

Cullen gave a curt nod. “Let’s head out. We have about six days of travel ahead of us.” Cullen was the last on his horse. He adjusted the thick, fur collar around his neck and turned his horse towards the narrow rocky path leading away from Skyhold expecting everyone to follow.

~ ~ ~

Nanami watched the sun set on the shores of Lake Calenhad at the end of their third day of travel. Kinloch Hold rose dark and abandoned from its center and cast large shadows across the murky water. Even from the lake’s shore, it was tall and imposing. The Mage-Templar War may have finally settled but the scars it left were riddled across Thedas. Some came in the form of stagnant magical traps and others were like this tower: a tall, dark reminder of Chantry oppression. The windows were dark; shutters hung misshapen and broken from  the window sills not a single candle was lit on the inside. Debris still littered the shore: torn, wet, unreadable spellbooks and a rusted templar sword were all that remained of the prison the Circle had once been.

Nanami’s Keeper had told her about the Circles but she always assumed it was just prejudice bred from hatred between her people and the humans but, when the Chantry fell apart in Kirkwall, the problems contained within the Circles began to bleed into Thedas like an open wound. The fallout reached everyone; from the dwarves of Orzammar and Kal-Sharok, to the most remote Dalish Clans. Everyone knew the humans had failed.

She never would have imagined she’d be the one to start stitching Thedas back together.

Behind her, Sera and Briana talked amongst themselves while Cullen rode beside her. They had ridden hard all day to get this far and by the slight slump in Cullen’s otherwise perfect posture, she knew they should be searching for a place to camp soon. She caught him staring at the tower and frowned. “Are you alright, Cullen?”

He tore his eyes away to look at her. “I was going to suggest setting up camp.”

“Here?” She twisted in her saddle to better take in her surroundings. In front of her, the valley spread out as far as she could see with grass as high as her waist blowing in the wet Ferelden breeze. The evening sun set behind her, peeking through the peaks of the mountains and casting colors of pink, blue, and red in the sky. “We’re a bit exposed; don’t you think?”

Cullen pointed across the lake. “Not exactly, the entrance to Kinloch is quite safe. It’s surrounded by ruins of the stone bridge and a steep cliff. There’s just one way in and one way out. If we make camp there, we can  have fresh water, at least. Also, if we’re lucky, there may wild deer and rabbits in the area; tomorrow we are entering areas affected by the Blight. It’s best if we are well fed and rested.”

Nanami’s mouth watered at the idea of something other than hard Orlesian cheese and jerky. She almost regretted rejecting Josephine’s offer to have the Arls house them as they traveled. It was satisfying for a few days but she craved a hot meal. While she may be Dalish, Nanami was no hunter.

She returned her gaze to the tower. “This is the first Circle you served at, isn’t it? The one that fell to blood mages during the Blight. We don’t have to stay here.”

Cullen nodded “I’ll be fine, Inquisitor.”

“Everyone would understand if you wanted to go somewhere else.”

Cullen looked at her from the corner of his eye and a half-smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I said I’ll be fine. What happened at the tower was a long time ago and it was nothing compared to Kirkwall if I am being honest.”

Nanami rode at his side until she was satisfied he wasn’t going to change his answer. When his silence failed to satisfy her worry, she turned her hart around and nudged it into a canter towards Briana and Sera who were lagging a few yards behind.

“...and when I opened the door there was a desire demon standing over a templar. I tried to save him but… in the end we had to kill him, too. The demon had too much control after giving him everything he wanted; a home and family. It’s almost impossible to pull a person out of a dream they don’t want to leave. Poor sod. Too many people were killed in that Circle. Cullen was lucky --” Briana’s story fell short as Nanami approached.

Sera had been listening with morbid interest. She seemed frightened but too interested to actually  _stop_ Briana from talking. Sera’s focus had been locked on Briana but she turned her big eyes to stare at Nanami as she approached Nanami knew that Sera would be curled up in her tent for another night.  Last time Sera came crawling into Nanami’s bed she had been a nightmare to sleep with. She kicked and stole all the blankets.

“Barring no trouble, we’re making camp at the entrance to Kinloch Hold. Cullen said we won’t be as exposed and to go further would take us into land affected by the Blight.  Sera, do you think you could catch us a few rabbits for dinner?”

Sera scowled and sucked her teeth. “You just said we were near blighted land, yeah? I’m not goin’ out there alone! Fresh meat or no, I don’t wanna come face to face with blighted bears or worse, darkspawn.”

Briana stretched in her saddle and let out a long yawn. “There’s no darkspawn around, Sera. If there were I’d know. I know where the blighted areas begin so I’ll accompany you if you’ve got a spare bow. Besides, I need something fun to do. Other than that small band of thugs we encountered on the way out of the Frostbacks this has been the most _boring_ travel I have had in months.”

Nanami noticed the dark circles under Briana’s eyes. “Are you sure? You look like you could use some sleep.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse fatigue than this.”  They’d only been traveling for three days but Nanami knew Briana had been up every night since their departure. Sometimes Nanami would wake to hear her praying or crying. One night she had a nightmare so bad Nanami, Cullen, and Sera found her in her tent screaming and thrashing, trying to fight invisible enemies. Not even Nanami’s magic could wake her.  Worried she’d hurt herself, Nanami had to have Cullen grapple her until the nightmare was over. No one slept well that night. The next morning she apologized but refused to talk about it and didn’t speak for the rest of the day.

“You can use a bow?” Sera crossed her arms in disbelief

Briana looked insulted. “Well enough to hunt a rabbit. Leliana taught me when we were traveling together.”

“Good, then it’s settled .” Nanami let her hart walk beside Briana as they followed the circumference of the lake.  Nanami focused on the back of Cullen’s head; his hair was mussed from a lack of proper care and his shoulders were still hunched over in exhaustion.

Briana moved her horse closer to Nanami and her voice dropped to a whisper. “Are you sure he’s going to be alright camping here? I remember what he was like. I can’t imagine he’d willingly come within ten feet of that tower.”

“He said he’s fine.” Nanami’s shoulders rose in a helpless shrug, her eyes lingered on the back of Cullen’s head trying to read his mind. “I’ll keep an eye on him while you’re hunting. If things don’t seem right, we’ll leave after you return. I won’t allow him to torture himself for our safety. I’d sooner risk the darkspawn.” Without waiting for a response, she nudged her hart and returned to Cullen’s side. Just ahead, she could see the tall archway that served as the entrance to Kinloch Hold’s dock.

Briana and Sera were large personalities; They sang their way through the Frostbacks and then they told stories from the base of the mountains until the last tent was set up. Cullen and Nanami had remained silent listeners. At least Sera seemed to be a good distraction for Briana. She kept her mind off Alistair, or at least from the thought of him dead in the Fade. Every other story Briana told featured Alistair in some way. From the sound of it, they had been joined at the hip since they met. Compared to the woman who held a dagger to her throat, Briana had become a different person. Someone closer to the person Leliana claimed she was; though Cullen still watched her like a hawk. Once the last tent was pitched and Briana left with Sera the camp felt a little more empty. Cullen shouted from within an old tavern whose door had long rusted off its hinges. “Looks like--”  He walked out of it with a large kettle in his hands. “--we can make a stew if they come back with something.”

“You can cook?” She wrested the kettle away from him and headed down to the water.

Cullen walked beside her. “I can, actually. My mother taught all of us to cook. Maker forbid if her children were ever to go hungry.”

Nanami laughed. “I think that’s all mothers.” She slipped off her boots and rolled her riding breeches up so she could wade in the water. The lake was icy cold and mud squished between her toes. The sharp temperature made goosebumps prickle across her skin and a shiver climb up her spine. Nanami crouched down with the kettle and filled it with water to begin cleaning out the soot and cobwebs.

“True. What was yours like?” Cullen stood close to her like a lazy watchdog, his arms crossed and his eyes focused on the upper floors of the tower. “I’d imagine Dalish mothers would be quite different.”

No one asked her about the Dalish; not since they had been killed at Wycome. Only Solas had been brave enough to broach the subject with her in private. Cullen and Leliana had given quiet condolences. Then there was Josephine, whose cool demeanor cracked just long enough to express remorse for her poor advice. As much as Nanami wanted to blame someone else she couldn't allow Josephine to shoulder that burden. After all, she was the one who made the call. In an attempt to lessen the amount of lives lost she ignored Cullen’s advice and sent her people to negotiate with racist bigots. Now, because of her incompetence, her mother’s face was just a vague outline with long black hair that smelled of deathroot and pine. “My mother...”

“Nanami, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

“No, it’s alright. I just haven’t talked about her in a long time.” She stood up with the now clean pot and pushed the long black braid behind her shoulders. It swung side to side as she walked over to their tents. Cullen caught up with her and took the kettle from her hands. She gave him a reproachful look but let him have it. “My mother…” She repeated but then corrected herself, “Elven mothers, I should say, are not as different as you might think. My mother’s name was Rena. She told me stories of Elvhenan and the Elven pantheon. Much like yours told you about Andraste. She taught me to read and write, she sang to me, and urged me to play with the other children when I was too shy. She supported me through my magic training and when I got my Vallaslin she was there to hold my hand. She did all the things a mother is supposed to do. The only difference was that she was Elven. If the Dalish and humans could come together, sit down, and have a real talk I think they would see that we’re all after the same thing: happiness.”

Cullen set the kettle over a pile of wood at the center of camp. “Was your mother a mage, too?” He sat down in front of the unlit fire, regarding her with a soft, apologetic stare.

Nanami remained standing; a soft prickle of magic danced across her skin. The thin veil had her on edge and unable to relax. “No. She and my father were both hunters. I was a surprise. The first day I used magic I was… maybe six years old? I was trying to learn the bow but I wasn’t very good. My mother was a master and all the other children were picking on me because I couldn’t hold the arrow right. One boy, Masa, was a bully and one day, when our teacher wasn’t looking, he nocked an arrow and pointed it at me. The arrows were blunt but I was young and frightened. So, without knowing, I froze his hands to the bow and his feet to the ground. The magic started to spread and I didn’t know how to stop it but before the spell could spiral out of control the Keeper stepped in and neutralized it. She took me away and my training began immediately.”

Cullen laughed. “Sounds like he deserved it.”

“Oh, he was just a boy.” Nanami laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “He was a good hunter last time I saw him…”

Nanami stopped mid sentence when her attention was drawn to a mass of red and orange moving just behind the destitute tavern.

She began to reach for her staff from its place on her back. “Cullen...”

Cullen followed her gaze and just as he lept to his feet, a rage demon rolled through the thick foliage. Its body scorched brambles and disintegrated the rotting, wooden fence leaving a gaping hole in the Tower’s natural defenses.

Snow swirled around Nanami’s hand and when she extended it in front of her a thick wall of ice rose between the demon and them. It gave Cullen just enough time to draw his sword but when he reached for his shield he realized he left it nestled against his saddle on the other side of camp. He turned to retrieve it but Nanami shook her head. “Not now.”

The ice wall steamed and evaporated as the demon pushed its way through. Fire poured from its mouth and more steam rose from the ground where the ice had been. Nanami channeled her mana into her staff and a chunk of solid ice flew from the point of it striking the demon with enough force to freeze it solid.  

_I would have sensed a Rift; blood mages… has to be._

She was blind in the low light of the setting sun; she couldn’t see beyond the hills and bushes the demon had come from. When she heard movement behind her she expected to confront a mage, but instead found herself face to face with another demon.

_A terror demon._

The tall, green, skeletal demon crawled up from the ground; its twisted face stared at her and its shriek pierced her ears. She took a slow step back and raised her staff in front of her. She should have been used to them but a terror demon’s face still caused her stomach to turn.

The ice that paralyzed the rage demon shattered. Foregoing his shield, Cullen charged forward. Nanami murmured a few words and a thin layer of magic hardened over their skin and armor. As the terror demon sank into the ground, Nanami prepared for its attack with an ice mine at her feet.

It didn’t take long for the mine to trigger; the ground rose up around her in a storm of ice, snow, and wind; the terror demon shrieked,  clawing at its face and stumbling away to pluck shards of ice from its cheeks. Nanami extended her staff in front of her and it morphed into the blade of the Knight Enchanter. While the demon was preoccupied, she struck one of its long, bony arms with a quick swing of her sword. It screamed again and stumbled back clutching its wound. It swiped towards her with dagger like claws but before the demon could reach her, she dug her heel into the ground and relaxed her body, letting it slide through the fade. She carried herself through like a ghost and reappeared beside Cullen’s shield.

The demon disappeared into the ground again.

_Like sharks on the hunt..._

Nanami dragged the tip of her blade in a circle around her, laying down another ice mine. She flicked a ball of white light from her palm; it wrapped around Cullen’s shield and sent it sliding across the ground to his feet.

Cullen had managed to put the rage demon on the defensive . However, with only his longsword he was left without any form of protection from the hot flames the demon had at its disposal. Cullen managed to dodge a line of flame at the cost of his coat which was singed and smoking. His hand was suddenly surrounded by a white light and when the energy was released it shocked the demon long enough for Cullen to crouch down and collect his shield. It roared and a jet of flame poured out of its mouth. Cullen lifted his shield and the flame dispersed against the cool metal.

Nanami’s attention was forced back to her own fight when the ice mine erupted around her again. The terror demon had reappeared and lifted its massive claw to strike but the mine covered it in a thin layer of ice; freezing it solid.

Nanami struck the demon with her blade several times and when the thin layer of ice began to crack she slid into the fade again to put distance between it and her. She put down another mine and tried to find the mages behind the demons. She focused on the area where she had seen the first demon and she listened. She knew they couldn’t be far.

And then she heard him.

Over the rage demon’s roars; the sound of someone chanting a summoning spell. Nanami lifted her staff and gathered the mana that stirred deep within her gut. A cold wind prickled across her skin and snow danced around her. She raised the Knight Enchanters blade and slammed the tip into the ground; a blast of cold air and ice flew in the direction of the summoning.

A maddening scream was the response and the mage came flailing out of his hiding spot. He was older with receding, thin, white hair.  He wore old, blue Ferelden circle robes that were torn and covered in stains. His arms were littered with cuts old and new; some festered and others were deep, pale scars. His eyes were black and wild. He stared at the chaos in front of him, his smile twisted and stretched until his chapped lips bled and stained his teeth. In his hand he held a stick; sharpened to a point and covered with blood.

“The Circle is mine! Do you hear me knife ear? Do you?!” In one quick movement he stabbed the stick into his palm until blood swelled and evaporated into the air. “Mine, mine, mine!” With a new sense of urgency the man shoved the sharpened stick deeper into his palm and twisted the stick in a slow circle.

The amount of blood that poured from his hand could fill a wine bottle. Nanami just stood and watched in horror, unable to act.

The mine couldn’t save her this time.  

Nanami’s body began to feel hot and her heart began to race; all the muscles in her body tightened and breathing became difficult. As the blood in her veins began to boil, she closed her eyes and tried to focus but there was just too much blood magic wrapping around her. The mage simply had the upper hand, dirty as it may be.

Nanami dropped to her knees and her whole body spasmed. Her staff fell from her hands and the spirit blade disappeared. Her scream was caught in her throat and it was all she could do to breathe shallow gasps of air; the magic wrapped around her like a noose on every limb. She struggled to regain control of her body and looked at Cullen for help but now both demons were attacking him. Just as he turned his shield to block the dangerous claws of the terror demon, the rage demon caught him in the side with a sphere of red and blue flame.

The mage cackled with delight and shoved the stick into his wrist. The nooses around her joints tightened. “Yes, yes, yes… kill the templar… kill him!”

Guided by an invisible string, Nanami’s arm snapped away from her body. She groaned in pain as her hand wrapped around her staff and her legs were yanked out from under her as the blood mage manipulated her to stand. Sweat poured down her face as she struggled to control her own mana.

When she felt an unfamiliar spell building inside her, she focused her mind on the fade. She ignored the pain of the blood magic and instead focused on her mana. She felt something in her brain pop and she regained control long enough to call out to Cullen. It was a strangled cry for help but it got his attention. She watched his face change from calm and focused to panicked and afraid.  He dropped his sword and threw his hand up into the air. A brilliant white light surrounded him before leaving his body and crashing down on the demons from above and rippling outwards around the entire camp.  The demons shrieked and retreated into the shadows and the mage was left paralyzed.

The blood mage’s hold on Nanami broke. She fell back to the ground as his control over her left. Weakened and shaky, Nanami managed to scramble back to her feet and fade step to Cullen’s side. “Thank you...” She could feel her blood still hot under her skin and the unfamiliar spell slowly creeping out of her.

Cullen retrieved his sword. “Are you alright?”

As the light faded, Nanami nodded. Cullen’s gaze lingered on her and she could see the concern but as the last of the light faded, the rage demon gurgled and spit a ball of flame which turned Cullen’s attention back to the fight. He raised his shield and the ball of fire propelled away from them. He gave her one last look before he left her side to continue the fight with the rage demon, leaving Nanami to finish the blood mage.  

She lifted her staff and the cold winter air started to build around her again. Snow swept around her feet and whipped around her body. However, just as the spell began to gather into her staff  the  terror demon reappeared and grabbed her by the shoulder; its long, thin claws dug between her shoulder blades. The light mail that she wore beneath her robes protected her skin from the majority of the damage but as she twisted to get free she heard her arm pop and slumped uselessly below its socket. She gathered a small reservoir of mana and stepped into the fade only to reappear a short distance from the demon. Her limbs felt heavy and, without sufficient mana, her arm remained ineffective.

Nanami forced herself to ignore the terror demon stalking towards her and focused her attention on the blood mage, the root of the problem. With sweat rolling into her eyes she reached deep down and pulled up enough mana for another spell. Long shards of ice formed in the air and flew towards the blood mage; they were as clear as crystals and the size of small throwing daggers. Still paralyzed by Cullen’s templar ability, the man had no way to protect himself. Like a knife through tender meat, one shard found a home in his gut while the other sliced through his neck.  The moment the ice pierced his skin, the paralysis faded; she watched him struggle to channel the blood from his wounds towards another attack but another crystal of ice found its way into his chest and another one into his eye. He fell to the ground and died with the spell still on his lips.

As he laid convulsing on the ground, the demon charged her. Without the blood mage as an anchor, its hold on the physical world was weakened and it stumbled towards her while flecks of flesh mottled off its body and disintegrated into the fade. When it reached her she outstretched her staff and her spirit blade returned; she shoved the blade through its sick, green abdomen and twisted. The demon, with its face inches from her’s, gave a final scream and dissipated into the Fade.

Her attention turned to Cullen. Pieces of the rage demon flickered away from its body as it died. With her uninjured arm, Nanami pointed her staff at the demon and its molten body turned to ice. Cullen swung his sword and it shattered on contact.

It was over as quickly as it had begun.

Sweating and panting, Nanami and Cullen waited for a second attack but it never came. She listened for another summoning but all she could hear was the water lapping behind her and her blood racing in her ears. “Two…” She breathed, “that mad man was able to summon _two_ demons?” The sun had completely set behind the mountains and it was just the stars that lit the night sky. Nanami walked towards the campsite and threw a fireball into the pit. The wood crackled and burst into flame beneath the kettle.  “Are you hurt?”

Cullen sheathed his sword.“Nothing I can’t recover from. Maker's Breath, your arm… let me see.” Cullen took her by her good arm and dragged her closer to the fire. When they were safe in the light, she saw a burn that started at the back of Cullen’s neck and disappeared beneath his armor.

“Just… put it back in place.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to use magic?”

“No. I don’t have a lot of mana left and your burn looks serious.”

Sighing, he removed his gauntlets and tossed them to the side. One hand rested on her twisted shoulder while the other grabbed her forearm. “Alright. On three. One, two...” He twisted her arm and there was an audible pop which accompanied an agonizing groan from Nanami. “Three.”  

Nanami moved her arm to test it. She could feel her muscles stretched and sore but she could hold her staff again. “Your turn.” She said to Cullen motioning to the burn on his neck. “You’ll have to undress.” She watched him fidget where he stood and for a moment she was able to forget they had almost been killed by a mad blood mage. Her arms crossed over her chest and she laughed. “Cullen, are you embarrassed?”

He unbuckled a piece of his armor and set it off the the side. “What? Maker, no. I’ve been healed a hundred times.” Nanami went to Cullen’s side and helped him with his armor. She pulled his red fur coat from his shoulders and laid it on a nearby stump. Her hands worked to unhinge his breastplate while he stood there, looking more uncomfortable than before. “You know I could do this myself.”

“Yes, but you were being slow.” She set his breastplate aside and saw the damage the demon had done. It was nothing she couldn’t heal; his under armor had been scorched to rags and his abdomen was burned, she could already see blisters forming and areas where the skin had been completely burned away leaving muscle and sinew exposed. “Nothing you couldn’t recover from?” She scoffed, “This could have easily become infected Cullen.” She ignored his uneasiness and focused on his injuries. “My shoulder is nothing compared to this. Finish undressing and have a seat. I am going to set some traps in the mean time.”

While Cullen finished undressing, Nanami dug through her bags and pulled out a small vial of Lyrium. She swallowed it and put the small glass vial away. The new source of mana recharged her making her feel ready for another fight. Nanami breathed a sigh of relief and set the perimeter with a variety of magical traps.

_I should have done this in the first place._

When she was finished, she returned to Cullen and knelt down beside him. “Okay, arm up” He lifted his arm and his avoided eye contact; instead he looked straight ahead, focused on the entrance of the camp.

Nanami summoned a quick healing spell and a soft white glow emanated from her hands. When she guided the light towards Cullen he twitched and jumped away from the touch of her hands. “Cullen!” Surprised, Nanami pulled away and the spell vanished. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… Maker…” He rubbed his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I thought it was all behind me but, being here, fighting blood mages… It’s too familiar.” He turned his head to look at the tower looming behind them.

Nanami reached out and took his chin, guiding his gaze away from the tower. “Cullen, look at me.” Hesitantly, his soft, hazel eyes turned to meet hers, bright and blue even in the dim light of the fire. “Do you trust me?”

He nodded, “Of course. I just--”

“Good, then don’t look away. My magic is just an extension of me. Kinloch won’t change that.” She closed her eyes and whispered a spell. The soft glow reappeared around her hand. Her eyes opened and she held the soft glowing light up to Cullen. “See?” Cullen remained quiet and, while he shied away from her at first, he began to relax and Nanami began to stitch his skin back together with magic. His body was covered in scars and only a few were healed by magic. Most were jagged and thick from ointments, mundane stitches, and other primitive healing methods.

_He’s suffered a lot of pain to avoid magic._

To keep his mind away from bad memories Nanami hummed a Dalish lullaby. It turned Cullen’s attention away from the magic and he leaned in closer to listen. The two of them sat like that for the remainder of the healing process. Once his skin was healed she breathed an exhausted sigh. She could feel sweat trickling down her neck, her eyes felt weary, and her mana was low again. She needed a good night’s rest.

Now that she had nothing else to focus on, her mind returned to the fight. The way the blood mage had taken control of her so easily. She had never experienced anything like that before. The pain, the heat, and the way that vile spell had sucked up her mana for its own use. She felt violated even with the enchantment completely dissolved, she still felt like something dirty coursed through every vein in her body.

_What would have happened if Cullen hadn’t been there? What would have that man made me do? Kill myself? Kill someone else?_

The possibilities seemed endless and it made her feel cold and powerless.

“Nanami?” Cullen must have seen her distress.

Her heart slammed into her chest as she looked up at him and shook her head. “I’m alright. You’re not the only one shaken by that fight.”

“Ah” He nodded his head, understanding immediately “You would have fought him off even without my help.”

“How do you know that?”

Cullen smiled and reached out to take her hand. “Because you’ve been through worse and I know--”  One of Nanami’s traps triggered. She and Cullen jumped to their feet, staff and sword back in hand. They looked towards the deactivated trap to see a massive black wolf fleeing into the trees with ice and frost stuck to its fur.

“Just a wolf.” Cullen breathed. Now that he was standing, he took the opportunity to grab a fresh undershirt from his saddle bags. “It must have smelled the blood.” He returned to the fire just as Nanami was sitting down. Cullen sat down beside her and pulled the shirt over his head.

Nanami smiled. “Or maybe, Fen’Harel heard my song.” She leaned back on her arms and stretched her legs out infront of her. “Thank you Cullen…”

Cullen looked at her and tipped his chin in a slight nod. “Who is--”

“Well, well, don’t you two look comfortable!” Briana appeared at the entrance to Kinlock with three rabbits in her hands already gutted and skinned. She held them up to show them off. “You know we had to fight off three blood mages so you could eat?”

Sera appeared behind Briana with a big grin on her face and ran down to the fire. “We were hunting around Kinloch and came across a small band of them, right? So, Bri n’ me planned an attack and wiped them out.” Sera was still grinning from ear to ear, “It was good, yeah? They didn’t even see us comin’. I sent an arrow into their camp and it went BAM and they went AHHH and then blood and tears and demons … and dead. One shit got away though.”

Nanami pointed at the twisted, dead body farther from the fire. “Is that him?”  Sera walked over and leaned down to get a good look at his face.

“That’s him. Wild, innit?” She gave the dead body a good kick, grabbed a small pail from their supplies, and went to get water from the lake.

Briana laughed and moved to her pile of bags and put her bow away, along with her axe.

Cullen voiced Nanami’s concern first “Maker's Breath the two of you could have been killed. Thank Andraste you weren’t hurt”

“Like Sera said, we had the advantage.” Briana answered, “She was able to take out two mages before their demons found us. By then, that one--” She pointed to the dead man, “ran off and the demons were as useful as nug shit without the blood magic to anchor them to our world.”

Sera came back and poured water into the pot. Steam rose and disappeared into the crisp night air. “You took a nasty blast to the back from that demon though.” Sera bit her lip and looked at Nanami. “The one that uses ice.”

“A despair demon?” Nanami looked at Briana. “Do you need healing?”

“No need.” Briana shook her head. “I used a potion.” She reached into one of the small pouches on her belt and pulled out some elfroot and other assorted herbs. “I found these while we hunted. We can add them to that pot and have something decent. Alistair taught me how to make a fantastic Ferelden stew.”

She remembered the stew Alistair made. It had given her and Hawke a stomachache for the rest of the night and into the next day. Nanami  grappled the rabbits out of Briana’s hands. “How about I make a Dalish meal. You hunted so I’ll cook.”

Briana narrowed her eyes at Nanami, suspicious. “If you insist.” When Briana  sat down in front of the fire, Nanami  peeled the meat off the bone and tossed the pieces into the boiling water. She added some of the herbs as well as some other ingredients she had packed. Briana pulled out a small tankard of Dwarven ale from Maker only knew where and soon, there were stories, laughter, and familiar food surrounding her; when mixed with the scent of smoke from a roaring fire, Nanami felt like she had found a piece of home again.

~ ~ ~

Rain fell and chilled Briana to the bone. Any blessings the Maker had given them a few days ago had been stripped away by Ferelden weather. The mounts splashed through thick, sticky mud which had effectively slowed their travel to a snail's pace. They were a few days behind schedule and, to top it off, they were surrounded by blight. After so many years the land was still recovering from the brief Darkspawn incursion. The horses danced around trees that had once been covered with thick, black ichor and sometimes they flat out refused to go where Briana lead them.

Camping had become a dreaded necessity rather than something they looked forward to at the end of the day. Being so close to the corruption had all of them seeing enemies in the shadows . The forests surrounding the wilds still stunk of Darkspawn. The air was thick and hard to breathe; for the first few hours the four of them had coughed and gagged until their bodies became adjusted to the corruption.

For Briana it was worse; the song in Briana’s head was stronger here and the hum of the Darkspawn that still prowled the area was a constant numbness in the back of her mind. They knew she was there. They were looking for her but, by the Maker’s good fortune, she had been able to keep the party away from them.

She maneuvered her horse around a pile of bones long picked clean of their identifying features. It had been the fourth pile they’d passed in the last hour. It was a somber reminder that the old Circle was well behind them and they were ass-deep in blight; even the trees were bare of life. There were no fallen leaves crunching under the horses’ hooves nor anything green and alive as far as the eye could see. The forest was bleak and black and dead. She heard no birds save for the distant caw of carrion crows and vultures. When she looked through the branches of the dead trees she couldn’t see a hint of sun beyond the thick black clouds that covered the sky.  

Sera was nervous; she usually enjoyed lingering behind or far ahead of the group, but now she clung to them like glue. Like her horse, she jumped at every shadow and sent arrows deep into the forest only to imbed them into trees or nothing.

Nanami and Cullen seemed pensive.

Nanami’s staff never left her hand; a soft white light wrapped around it and pushed back the darkness that surrounded them. Even through the rain and the stench, the young elf didn’t complain. She lingered back, though, like a shepherd following the flock.

Cullen rode with Briana at the front; his hair clung to his face and he had long since abandoned his fur-collared coat. With the soft tap of the rain falling against their armor she and Cullen sounded like tin roofs. Briana could tell Cullen tried to ignore the bleak forest that surrounded them but every time they passed the remains of someone long dead she caught him closing his eyes in silent prayer.

To Briana, it was just another Tuesday. Walking by the piles of bones and dead animals was like walking by a particularly ugly baby. It made you stop and look but otherwise was insignificant.

Common and forgettable.

Briana took her feet out of the stirrups and stretched them forward with a sigh. Alistair probably looked like that now. A pile of bones for a spirit to float past. She rubbed her eyes and pushed the thought out of her mind. When she opened them again she found Cullen looking at her as if she were a little girl whose dog just died.

“Commander Cullen?”

“Are you alright? You look upset.” Even after almost a week of travel, Nanami and Cullen still danced around her feelings. Sometimes Briana appreciated it, but the unasked questions and awkward silences made her irritated and quick to snap.

“We’re surrounded by corpses and darkspawn. I’m as fine as the rest of you. This isn’t _exactly_ a place that makes any of us want to sing and dance.”

Cullen narrowed his eyes at her; unappreciative of her sense of humor.“You’ve been in high spirits since we left Skyhold.”

The silent pause between sentences made Briana’s fists clench until her knuckles were white. “And?”

_Speak you nervous little Templar._

“...I can’t imagine what you must really be feeling.”

_And there it is._

She let out a deep breath, her hands loosened around her reins again, and she shrugged her shoulders. “What Alistair and I had… have… was… is…” She felt the words failing on her tongue as she tried to put her feelings into words, “special.” She rolled her eyes, “He’s much better at this than I am. So, I’ll use his words.” Briana reached up and tugged the rose out of her wet hair. “Alistair gave me this rose after we left the Circle; he found it in a small town called Lothering. We should be rather close to it now. Anyway, he said that I reminded him of this rose. I was… a _light_ amidst the darkness of the Blight.”

Cullen chuckled. “A lovely sentiment.”

It was Briana’s turn to laugh as she wove the rose back in her hair. “It was cheesey. I laughed at him and teased him mercilessly from Kinloch to Denerim. I never really told him how much those small gestures meant to me. I think he knew though; he kept doing them. Without him I think I would have become the darkness he talked about. There were times I almost did but he kept me sane when the weight of the world threatened to crush me. I didn’t keep the rose because I thought what he said was true. I kept it because he was more like this rose than I could ever be. So, that’s what I’ve lost Commander. A light amidst my _own_ darkness. I can’t explain it beyond that.”

“I think I understand.”

“Well, I imagine it’s similar to your relationship with Nanami, right?”

“Yes, I -- wait, what?” Cullen looked over his shoulder and his voice dropped to a whisper conveying everything from anger to embarrassment.  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Don’t insult me, Cullen.” Briana looked over her shoulder. Sera had the reins wrapped around the horn of her saddle with her arms crossed, asleep. Nanami was well behind them, more concerned with invisible threats lurking in the woods than their conversation. “I saw the two of you at Kinloch.” Briana’s smile grew as she guided her horse around some debris. “Admit it.”

“How do you even know --”

“Sera and I hid in the bushes and watched you two for awhile.”

“Maker's Breath. You two are like children.”

“I bet her three gold you’d kiss her. She said you ‘weren’t ballsy enough’.” Briana sighed, “Your balls, or lack thereof, lost me three gold.”

_If it weren’t for that damned wolf…_

The look of shock and disapproval on Cullen’s face was priceless. She rolled her shoulders back in a haphazard shrug. “I’m easily bored. Anyway, why don’t you tell her?”

“Because Solas is a tit.” Sera’s voice clipped into the conversation no louder than a mouse. Briana pulled her horse out of the way as Sera pushed herself between the two of them. Her blonde hair stuck to her freckled face and, thanks to the dense wood, she had pieces of sticks tangled in it.

“You said that name before. Who is he? He’s not at Skyhold.”

“You don’ know? He’s the shit who broke Quizzy’s heart. Can’t say what happened but they went off alone - somewhere - and she came back all quiet with no Valla-shit on her face. She avoided him until the battle with Coryphallus then Baldy’s balls broke an’ he disappeared.”

“You mean Corypheus?” Briana asked and when she looked over she noticed Cullen was trying not to pay attention and shaking his head back and forth. From behind, Briana heard an extra set of hooves splashing closer.

Cullen raised a hand to interject and gave Sera a look that warned against continuing. “Sera I don’t think it’s wise - ”

He was ignored.

“Yeah, Coryphifish that’s what I said. Anywho, Solas disappeared after that; even Leliana can’t find him, yeah? She’s _still_ broken up about it. You can’t mention his name without watching her face get all mopey.”

“Sera,” Briana insisted, “I think--”

“He wasn’t even that _great_. He was always talking about the Fade and demons and elves and the past. I mean, who even gives a shit anymore, yeah? The _Dalish_ ; an’ Solas don’t even like them. Go pick up the pieces, Cullen. At least you got hair.” Sera let out a snort  and crossed her arms over her chest.

Briana pinched the bridge of her nose. “Andraste’s hairy pits, Sera. _Shut up_.”

“Anything’s better than watching her torture herself. He’s not coming back.”

“Well, Sera, I’m glad to know your opinion on the matter.” Briana’s gut twisted as she heard Nanami’s voice behind them. It was soft, stern, and hurt.

Sera spun around in her seat to confront Nanami. “Well it’s true, innit? If he were coming back he’d have told you, told someone, right? If he’s disappeared it’s probably because he’s up to something.” Briana watched Sera dig her hole deeper. She wanted to step in and help the young elf but she just didn’t know how.

“We have no proof of that! We have no proof of anything. Regardless, my personal life is not your responsibility. You shouldn’t be sharing it with other people, Sera, and Cullen, I am disappointed that you allowed it to get this far.” Cullen slid deeper into his saddle as if that would hide him from Nanami’s chastising gaze; his ears were red and he couldn’t even look at her. Briana could see the word ‘disappointed’ hanging over his head like a guillotine.

Cullen snapped to Nanami’s defense. “Sera, that’s enough.”

Sera sucked her teeth and dug her heels into her horse, taking off ahead of them.

Briana thanked the Maker when Sera returned unharmed and without a pack of darkspawn on her tail. Without a word, she pulled her horse up beside Briana and rode with them in silence.

As the forest began to thin and the shadow of the sun began to fall below the trees, Briana noticed that everything was becoming a little more familiar. The ground beneath them was more solid and she could see the remnants of an old road emerging from beneath the mud. The further she went the more confident she was about their location. She squinted through the trees and in the distance she could see the silhouette an old windmill standing tall against the light of the orange sun hanging behind it.

_Lothering. It’s been 14 years._

She turned around in her saddle. “There’s a small town ahead, it’s been abandoned for several years. We can camp at the Chantry if it’s still standing; though, I can't say how safe it will be. It’s probably safer than the forest, considering.”

Despite the thinning forest, their surroundings were dark and still. The field just outside Lothering was bare of life, the grass that once rose to her hip was gone and replaced by the same thick, black, mud they had been trudging through for days. The Windmill’s blades were rusted and the blight that had once covered it blackened the brick and ate through the wooden door. As they passed through the entrance to the town, Briana stared at a tall, rusted, dented cage that was big enough for a man to stand in. Its hinges had long rusted away and the door lay on the ground, half buried in the mud. She smiled a little and nudged her horse through the broken village gates.

Within the village the buildings were destroyed beyond recognition; they had either collapsed or stood on thin, rotting frames. One side of the small stone bridge that led to the Chantry had crumbled into the river and the cloth tents that had scattered from one end of the village to the other, all filled with refugees, were gone.

The Chantry stood as proud as the windmill. Its stone structure preserving it among the corpses of wooden homes and shops. It cast dark shadows in the yard and, from a distance, Briana could see holes in the roof and rubble from a broken chimney laying around the foundation.

She’d heard that Lothering had tried to rebuild but the land was so tainted it failed. There were rumors that many became sick with Blight after eating what meager crops would grow and eventually the village was abandoned. An old anger boiled deep inside her as she recalled stumbling into this dying town after the battle at Ostagar. Calin could have saved Lothering, saved so much more of Ferelden, if it weren’t for Loghain’s paranoia and treachery.

She tried to forgive him over the years.

Even Alistair had urged her to let it go since it was making her nightmares worse, but looking at the skulls that stared up at her from the ground half covered in dirt and stone, reminded her why she never wanted to forget.

They lead their mounts across the crumbling bridge on foot;by the time the animals could be coaxed across the bridge, the rain had stopped. Once they found a sturdy wooden fence to hitch the horses, they began preparing for sundown: tending to their mounts, setting traps, and safeguarding their food.

As everyone saw to their own chores, Briana wandered toward the Chantry. In front of it, there was a statue of a Griffin sitting proud on its haunches, it was blackened from remnants of the taint and its eyes bore down at her as she approached.  She looked down and saw a tarnished silver plaque with engravings.

_For the Grey Wardens who saved us and for those who gave their lives to protect Ferelden: Maker guide you all._

Briana removed her gauntlet and used the damp sleeve of her under armor to wipe the plaque clean. It would never shine again but at least now the words could be read.

She walked up the stairs and pushed the heavy wooden doors of the Chantry open. The blight had rotted holes in the roof and left a thick black ichor clinging to the stone walls; even so, the building persevered. While the outside was black and smelled of taint, the inside was well preserved. The candelabras were rusted and had long fallen and crashed into the stone floor, scattered in broken pieces of twisted metal. The altar had toppled over and collapsed but the walls retained their cool grey color.

_It’s dry here and sturdy enough to sleep safely._

Her boots echoed as she followed the hall to the back of the Chantry where bookshelves had fallen over; the remaining books were torn and scattered under her feet. There was an intact door just beyond the small library. She pushed it open and walked into a garden.

All the plants had died long ago. The rose bushes were petrified and their thorns jutted out in every direction. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find. Everything else in Lothering was dead; why should the garden be any different? The only thing that had survived was the rose in her hair and that was due to a preservation spell Wynne had cast a long time ago. The chance of finding another one blooming on blighted soil was a fantasy at best.  

She tried to imagine Alistair in the garden, picking the rose and thinking of her. It was an awkward thought; Lothering had been so early in their journey together. She had barely given him a second thought, still wrapped up in her own grief and anger towards Arl Howe. Seeing past her emotions had been a challenge in itself and yet he still saw past his own to pick that rose for her.

_Idiot._

She had been so afraid and so angry that she hadn’t even considered Alistair a friend until Lothering was far behind them. In fact, she even remembered being rather callous towards him at first. The whole fate of Thedas sat on her and Alistair’s shoulders and all he managed to do was thrust everything onto her. He drove her mad and for a while she resented him for not taking more of the responsibility. Yet, somehow, Alistair saw past her anger and loved her anyway. At the time, it infuriated her.

It wasn’t until he backed her into a corner and confronted her about his own feelings that she realized she might actually felt the same. Then, he gave her that rose and kissed her. He joked when she called that rose a weapon but it was true. With one stupid gesture he tore down the walls she built between her and the others. Now, like the petrified bushes sitting gnarled and twisted in front of her, she was left with hollow memories that would no longer grow and would eventually crumble to dust if the Calling didn’t end her first.

“Hey.” Nanami stood in the doorway, her staff still glowing with its faint white light.

Briana’s voice was hollow, “Evening.” She stared at the garden a moment longer before turning to face her. “Look, I’m sorry about before. I shouldn’t have asked Sera about Solas.”

Nanami stepped out into the garden, shaking her head. “It’s alright. I should be used to people talking about Solas and I. It’s not like it was a well kept secret. When he left, he left a lot of unanswered questions and broken promises. The wound is still fresh and I know I can be a little sensitive.” She walked in a small circle around the garden, crouched down, and looked through the thick knots of vines and thorns. Nanami was looking for the same thing Briana had: life.

Briana watched her search,“You know, I give Cullen a lot of flak but he’s a good man who seems to care for you a great deal.”

Nanami stared at an empty flower bed that lay at her feet. “I know, but it wouldn’t be fair to him. I can’t be with him just because he’s here.”

“True, but you don’t exactly shy away from him. If that’s the excuse you want to use then you would have rejected him already.”

Nanami opened her mouth to speak but paused to consider her words. She rose from her crouched position and looked at Briana as if she were forcing her to admit some terrible secret. “I still have unresolved feelings for Solas. Cullen doesn’t deserve that; to be second to someone he can’t compete with.”

“Look, Nanami. You’re not going to like what I have to say but, this _Solas_ , doesn’t sound reliable and that’s exactly what someone like you needs. You and I live in a very...” Briana paused, collecting the right words before continuing, “...unreliable reality. Having people in our lives we can’t count on isn’t an option. I know Sera was harsh earlier but she’s probably right. He wouldn’t have hurt you without a reason and it’s probably something you're better off not knowing about.”

“You think I should move on. How about you Briana? Will you do the same?”  

The thought made Briana’s gut twist and her heart skip a beat but her answer was quick.  “No. Alistair and I had ten years together. He and I saw and experienced things that not even another Grey Warden could understand. This--,” her arms spread out to gesture to the dead garden surrounding them, “--is the end for me. You’re a good person, Nanami. You’re kind, forgiving, compassionate, and patient. You don’t need to constantly push people away, pretending the reasons are for the greater good or because it’s not fair. You need a safe place to land when you fall and eventually, you will fall. We all do.” She started back towards the Chantry.

“Why didn’t you make Alistair King?”

Her question stopped Briana in her tracks. The dirt crunched under her feet as she turned to face Nanami. “What?”

“Leliana told me the story. You could have been Queen of Ferelden. You and Alistair could have had a comfortable and safe life together.” Nanami looked around the garden and her hands flared out to gesture towards it. “Why choose to surround yourself with so much death?”

Briana wasn’t sure if she wanted to answer. She wasn’t even sure that she had an answer for her. “Comfortable, maybe, but safe? Darkspawn are easy, Inquisitor. They want to kill you and they hold their blades out where everyone can see them. But people?” She laughed. “I can’t protect Alistair from people. Eventually we would have trusted the wrong person. I told myself it was safer to be Wardens than to become bitter and paranoid like Loghain. Besides, the Nobility could have rejected the match. Then I’d definitely be alone.” Before Nanami could press further Briana climbed the stairs and shut the door behind her.

~ ~ ~

The Blight infected the Wilds like a cancer. Unlike in Lothering, the Blight still thrived in the Wilds. It hung, black and alive, from old Tevinter ruins. They passed several swamps, each dried up years ago, with nothing but fishbones left to bury themselves in the sediment. It was bleak and Nanami yearned for the talk and laughter they all shared in the Frostbacks.

This journey hadn’t been what Nanami expected. She had assumed she would have acted as Briana’s silent guide. However, Briana had been anything but silent. The Warden had pried her open and was forcing her to confront feelings she hadn’t thought about in a long time.

Nanami lifted her face to the full and grey rain clouds. She dropped her gaze from the sky and looked at her hand and sighed. The mark was a soft glow on her skin and unresponsive to its surroundings. She had been searching for a rift since they entered the Wilds but her mark was showing no signs of being anywhere close to one. Even without a rift, the familiar presence of magic lingered in the air. The power contained in the Wilds crept beneath her skin and filled her lungs. It made her feel more refreshed than she had in days. If it were not for the blight that surrounded them she would have been curious enough to seek out the source of the Wild’s magic. As it stood, the swollen pockets of black ichor kept her curiosity in check.

She looked at Sera and Cullen hunched on the backs of their horses, equally somber. Briana had left the group again; since Lothering she’d grown quieter and busied herself with finding safe routes around bands of darkspawn. Several times it felt as if she were leading them back to Skyhold but the longer they traveled the thicker the blight became.

Sera had begun second guessing her decision to come along since the first time they had to sneak around a large group of darkspawn. She was often murmuring incoherent strings of curses; pointing her arrows at the blight and threatening it as if it could be intimidated.  

Even Cullen jumped at invisible enemies.

Nanami had barely spoken to him since Lothering after Briana’s relationship “advice”  poisoned her mind. Had she never met Solas then _maybe_ something between them could have flourished. Nanami didn’t know how to approach it and she really didn’t know if she wanted to or _should_.

Briana appeared in the distance, racing towards them; her horse was slick with sweat and black blood was smeared across her armor.

Nanami felt like she should be surprised.

Cullen stretched his arm out and everyone pulled their horses to a stop. From behind, Nanami heard Sera suck her teeth and sigh. “Well this looks like shit.”.

Nanami nodded. “It definitely doesn’t look good.” She looked at Briana as she pulled her horse to a stop. “Maker's Breath! What happened? Are you hurt?”

Briana caught her breath and pointed behind her. “I’m fine. I was ambushed by a group of genlocks. I took their heads off but not before the rest of their horde were pointed in our direction. I was barely able to outrun them. They are on their way. Two genlocks and … an ogre. Maybe more. We have to fight. Sera, Nanami, Cullen, leave the ogre to me. Once we take down this group we get back on our horses and run. We’ll have to lose them or we’ll never make it out of here.”

Sera grabbed an arrow and nocked it. “Fuck! Just… ball tits… things couldn’t _stay_ easy..”

Cullen unsheathed his sword.“We can’t outrun them?”

“No.” Briana answered. “We run and we risk alerting every Darkspawn in the area.

“Then we fight.” Nanami grabbed her staff and with a wave of her hand, soft green spheres surrounded them.

Sera dug her heels into the horse’s flank, it sprang into a gallop and raced towards the small horde of darkspawn just as they came into sight.

The ogre lumbered behind a pair of genlocks partnered with another pair of hurlocks. An alpha genlock lead the pack. The ogre’s beady eyes locked on Briana; it leaned forward on its massive, purple knuckles and roared so loudly it could have been mistaken for a dragon.

Nanami raced after Sera and pulled her staff from her back. With a flick of her wrist the long dragon bone rod transformed into a spirit blade.

Nanami’s hart followed Sera into the center of the group. To her right, Cullen raced beside her. The three of them hit the horde with enough speed to force the darkspawn into scattering. As Sera’s horse plowed through the center, she loosed an arrow between the eyes of an unsuspecting genlock and it crumpled into a dead pile of green skin. “Eat it!” She screamed as she spun her horse around for another attack. Sera marked her second target, a hurlock, with an arrow. It slammed into the beast’s shoulder and while its attention focused on Sera, Nanami raced by and severed the hurlock’s arm from its shoulder.

Nanami pulled her hart to a stop and lept off. She raised her spirit blade and slammed the point of it into the ground; ice snaked away from her to the nearby darkspawn and crawled up a genlock’s legs and froze it in place.

Briana pushed her horse past the main fray and headed straight for the ogre. She hung off the side of her horse and when she reached the massive, grey skinned beast she lept from the saddle onto the back of the ogre, digging a dagger into the back of its neck. It flailed its massive arms in pain and swatted Briana off. Nanami cringed as she hit the ground and bounced.  

As Nanami focused on a healing spell, cold, rusted steel bit into her leg. She screamed and fell to her knees. Falling brought her eye to eye with the alpha genlock. It grinned with rotten, yellow teeth; its muscles bulged unnaturally around its thick neck and its breath smelled of a thousand rotting corpses. Black blood ran from long, deep gashes in its ribs and nose. Nanami waited and just as it leapt forward to stab her she lunged forward and grabbed its face; a blast of ice shot from her hand and covered the genlock’s face in frost. It screamed and struggled against her grip but the ice kept the beast close. Nanami strengthened the spell until the frost hardened into ice and sharp icicles protruded from the back of its head. When the darkspawn fell dead and frozen in front of her, Nanami turned around to find the last genlock rushing towards her, daggers poised to strike. She raised her spirit blade to attack until Cullen stepped between them in a blur of metal and fur and knocked the creature to the ground with his heavy shield. His blade came down and punctured the genlock’s heart.

Cullen looked at her from over his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Nanami struggled to stand. She inspected her leg; the dagger wound was deep and blood was seeping through her armor. Briana was back on her feet and digging the blade of her axe into the thick meat of the ogre. Nanami pointed at the Ogre. “Take that thing down.”

“You can barely stand.”

“I said _‘Go!’_ Commander!” Nanami forced herself to her feet. “I don’t need to move to cast a spell.” He lingered at her side a little longer before giving in to her orders and rushing to Briana’s aid.

She turned her attention to the hurlocks that crowded Sera. Sera had abandoned her horse and the hurlocks were gaining on her no matter how many arrows she put in them. Nanami swept her staff to the side and a trap appeared in front of Sera. When the hurlock with the missing arm touched it, an explosion of ice and snow erupted; freezing the hurlock solid. Sera followed Nanami’s spell with an explosive arrow. It shattered the hurlock into black, blighted shards around Sera’s feet. “Thanks Quizzy!” She yelled as she loosed another arrow into the second hurlock.

Nanami tried to take a step forward but her leg gave out causing her to stumble. Nanami gathered mana through the pain and fade stepped to Sera’s side just as the hurlock closed the distance between it and her. Nanami’s spirit blade pierced its abdomen; the hurlock dropped its crude battle axe and sputtered and clawed at its wound. Sera lifted her bow and imbedded an arrow in its skull. Nanami dismissed her blade and the hurlock fell to the ground twitching and gasping.

Now all that was left was the ogre.

Briana and Cullen were keeping the monster’s attention. The ogre was bleeding. Nanami could see bone protruding from its ribs and black blood sliding down its legs and chest. Nanami lifted her hand to the sky, mana swelled around her arm then shot into the swollen, grey clouds above. The clouds over the ogre opened and snow began to fall. A strong wind swept around the ogre and hail began to fall against its skin. The chill slowed the beast and the hail grew as sharp as  daggers. They fell harder and faster, slicing through the ogre’s thick hide as well as any sword would. With a great roar, the darkspawn tried to escape the blizzard but Briana ran towards it and lept into the air. She lifted her battle axe over her head and swung it into the ogre’s chest. Cullen attacked from the ground and opened the back of its heel; the ogre fell on its back. Sera disappeared from Nanami’s side,running towards the ogre and leaping into the air with three arrows nocked in her bow. She released them into the neck of the ogre and all three exploded causing the darkspawn to roar, stumble, and fall.

Briana fell with the ogre, keeping her axe buried in its chest. Its back hit the ground with thud so strong it made the ground shake beneath Nanami’s feet. When the dust settled, Briana ripped the axe from the ogre’s chest and took three long strides to its head and buried her axe in its skull.

The silence of the Wilds returned.

Nanami looked down at her leg. It throbbed with pain; she allowed herself to fall to her knees and withdrew a lyrium potion from a small bag around her waist. She gulped it down as the others ran towards her. Briana grabbed Nanami by the arm and forced her to her feet. “No time. Others heard the fighting and are coming. We need to go.” Nanami tossed the empty lyrium vial and tried to keep pace with Briana but she only stumbled and fell. Cullen caught her by the other arm and pulled her back to her feet.

“Where are we going to run?” Sera snapped, “Nowhere yeah? Quizzy can’t.” The growl of darkspawn returned to the field as more flooded their vision. Sera nocked another arrow and turned her back on her companions. She loosed it into a group of charging darkspawn and it found its target in the skull of a charging emissary. It fell to the ground dead but more swelled behind it. She loosed a few more arrows, each felling a darkspawn only for another to take its place. “Shite. Too many. We need a plan. Now.” Nanami waved her hand and an ice wall rose around them.

The mark on her hand began to pulse. “The Fade.”  

“It’s too risky,” Cullen interjected. “I can carry you, we just need to get to the horses.”

Nanami looked behind them. The horses and her hart were scattered at the far ends of the field. “We know there’s a rift somewhere in the Wilds. We’ll find a way out. Nothing ever goes according to plan. Stay close.” Before there could be anymore objections, Nanami lifted her hand to the sky. A flash of green surrounded them and pulled them into the Fade.

 

 


	4. The Dawn Will Come

Briana rolled onto her back; it ached against the unrelenting stone beneath her. Her head felt like it was full of water and her hair was thick with fresh blood. She groaned; the deep gash on her scalp throbbed and only added to the disorienting pain that pulsed in time with her heart. This wasn’t the first time she’d woken up sore and alone and it wouldn’t be her last. Above her, a black sky with no end, and no stars. It’s only companions were green tendrils of mist that danced without a wisp of wind to guide them.

  
Her head rolled to the side.

_Dear Andraste…_

A great black rock pierced the sky, it rose higher and higher until it splintered into small fragments. It all hung, suspended and unmoving. The green mist wove around it like it was an old friend. The black obsidian stone reflected the mist in turn and shone like dead stars in an abandoned, dead sky. There were no trees or sun to be seen only the constant dull green light and black obsidian cliffs.

She watched the sky, with it’s dancing waves. She had very little desire to move; her body was an anchor holding her in place until the heartbeat in her head subsided. Slowly, her body became her’s again and she tested it by moving her toes and tapping her fingers to the beat of her favorite tavern tune. When she was satisfied that she was going to live, Briana pushed herself to her feet. Her ribs screamed as they crunched beneath the pull of gravity. 

A glowing light out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was different than the mist; it was blindingly bright. It was Nanami; She was propped up against a stone with her shoulders slumped forward and her staff lain across her lap. She sat as still and lithe as a deer. Briana wouldn’t have seen her if it weren’t for the anchor; which made Nanami a beacon of green light in an otherwise bleak, black desert.

At the sound of Briana’s approach, Nanami looked at her “Welcome to the Fade.” 

“What a welcome it is.” Beyond Nanami, the Black City loomed close. Briana felt like she could reach out and touch it. This was an entirely different experience from the sloth demon’s cage. There, she had felt contented and at home but here she just felt wrong and intrusive.“You don’t look so good.” Briana kneeled beside her and parted the severed leather at her thigh to take a look at Nanami’s wound. It was already healed and left a thin white scar. There was no blackness, not even signs of bruising. “Did any darkspawn blood get in the wound? Did you swallow any?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Good.” Briana rose and dusted off her armor as best she could, keeping her eyes peeled for anymore familiar faces. When she saw none she frowned.“Where are the others?”

“I don’t know. I finished healing my leg just as you woke up.” Briana reached out and caught Nanami by the arm to steady her as she came uneasily to her feet. Briana’s ribs begged to be healed, and after a fight with a horde of darkspawn, Nanami had to be low on mana. She could deal with a set of broken ribs but a tired mage in the Fade was not a situation she wanted to be faced with. Briana removed two health potions from a small pouch on her belt and handed one to Nanami. “Here. Save your mana.” Briana took the other potion in one gulp; it tasted like nug shit and made her tingle from head to toe but it eased the pressure on her ribs and that’s all she needed to keep going. When the pain became a dull ache, she was ready to fight again.

Briana reached for her axe but it was gone. A quick, panicked scan of her surroundings revealed the axe to be several feet away at the edge of a pool of water. She moved to retrieve it with Nanami close behind. When they rounded the corner near the edge of the water the vastness of the Fade stretched out in front of them. The pool of water rested on the edge of a cliff and tumbled onto the rocks hundreds of feet below. The waterfall was the width of four Freleden Frostbacks and poured over twenty times as much water down it’s side. However, the water was as silent as a fennec fox. If they hadn’t searched they wouldn’t have known it was there. Other than the crunch of her booths against loose gravel and the tap of Nanami’s saff on the rocks behind her, nothing made a sound.

Beyond the waterfall,she could see nothing but barren, black rocks with shallow pools of water and smaller waterfalls spotted across the landscape. Buildings, bodies, and stone hung suspended in air; frozen mid-destruction, like a rusting war memorial that no one remembered. The chantry, however, was the grandest sight of them all. The building was decimated; broken bricks littered the sky (Briana could have reached out and taken one if she had dared) and the sunburst emblem shone gold and reflected the little green tufts that frolicked around it. Pieces of the door were burnt,the iron locks were twisted and deformed, and skeletons were suspended in air, skewered with floating debris. She yanked her axe from the bouldered earth. “What is all of this?”

Nanami was leaning heavily on her staff, peering through the cracks of the broken chantry’s walls. “Memories --. I think. I was told the Fade preserves them; That the events of our world scar this one indefinitely. The Fade preserves everything. Even the things we no longer remember, or don’t care to.” 

“Such as the lost history of your people? That must make visiting tempting.”

“Sometimes but the consequences of such things would largely outweigh the benefits. Last time we were here, there were memories from the the Mage-Templar War scattered everywhere. Honestly, I don’t know what event this is supposed to represent. If Solas were here he’d probably be able to give us more insight.” There was an uneasy shift in her stance before her gaze met Briana’s and she gestured away from the chantry and its mysteries. “We need to find the others and Alistair as fast as possible.”

Briana and Nanami left broken chantry behind them in search of Sera and Cullen. Without the sun and moon to guide her, Briana couldn’t tell how much time had passed. Her impatience made it feel like hours but for all she knew had only been minutes for when she looked behind her she could still see glimpses of the chantry.

The Black City followed them, it was never completely out of sight and remained a constant in an otherwise unpredictable world. It was that desperate ex-boyfriend that you could never really get rid of until you moved to a new city. The terrain was equally as welcoming: never ending, jagged, and dispiriting. To top it off, There were no battles to keep her occupied or signs of life-- demon or otherwise. 

They passed several more memories parceled out amongst the landscape. Some were like the chantry; large and intimidating monuments with shattered skulls and bleak endings. Most, however, were small, simple things such as a table, or a chair sitting abandoned in the middle of a black river, or an unmade bed with candles floating where an end table should be. 

They passed an old larder; it’s door ripped off the hinges and floating. When Briana peered through the cracks, she saw a pile of dead rats and the bloody paw prints of an excited mabari smeared across the stone floor. Briana smiled. She missed that dog every day; luckily, the darkspawn that took him didn’t live long enough to revel in it’s victory. 

Nanami kicked a small stone that rested at the tip of her bare foot. “Last time we weren’t far from one another. Maybe we should turn around. They couldn’t have ended up this far away.” 

“Going back seems about as profitable as going forward.” Nanami had promised to bring her into the Fade and had held up her end of that promise. However, apparently, neither of them had thought about what would happen once they arrived. Briana stood there with Nanami for awhile in the dead silence that surrounded them. Then, the soft sound of an arrow bouncing off stone and skidding across the ground echoed in the distance followed by a shout that rivaled the voice of an ogre.

“Back off Shit- Tit!” It didn’t take long for Briana and Nanami to find Sera stranded on a small island in the middle of a pool of stagnant water. Her bow was nocked and pulled. She straddled an unconscious Cullen with her arrow pointed at a rage demon. It looked more like a porcupine set aflame at this point. It roared and rolled across the small battle field, it’s misshapen claws dripped with liquid fire as it lashed out at Sera. She dodged the attack but poor Cullen’s armor paid the price. The stream of fire that dripped from its claws singed and blackened the armor at his feet. 

Nanami raced towards the fight and stopped once she was calf deep in water. She sucked power into the lyrium stone at the tip of her staff and sent a blast of ice across the water. It froze the demon in its tracks and Sera finished it off with a well placed explosive arrow that released an appropriate BOOM followed by Sera’s, “Right in the face!” 

“Elgar’nan’s Blessing!” Nanami breathed, “Are you alright?” 

“’Bout’ time you got here!” Sera put away her bow and gave Cullen a rough shove with her boot. “He took a bad hit to the head. I shoved a health potion down his throat but it’s not kicked in yet. That demon found us before I could give him another; He’s breathin’ though.” 

Nanami staff illuminated a bright flash as it channeled more power and with a precise gesture of her hand a bridge of ice extended from the little elf to Sera. With Briana close behind Nanami rushed across the bridge to Cullen’s side. She quickly dropped to her knees and her hands erupted into the same light that had been absorbed into her staff. Her eyes closed, a deep breath was taken, slowly released, and her palms pressed against Cullen’s temples.

Sera reached down and smacked Cullen across the cheek (it was her way of helping) as he began to stir. “Wakey Wakey.” 

Cullen swatted Sera’s hand away “Good to see you too, Sera.” Sera cackled and pulled him to his feet.  
While they were stopped, Nanami finished healing a few burns Sera suffered from the demon and forced Briana to allow her broken ribs to be tended to, beyond the patchwork job the elfroot potion had done. When Briana replaced her last piece of armor, she looked at the path ahead of them and the one behind them. “I know this wasn’t explicitly a concern of mine before but, how are we going to find Alistair, exactly--and how do we leave??”

Nanami pulled a lyrium potion from her satchel and drank it before speaking,“Solas talked about how benevolent spirits felt compelled to help dreamers and mages who sought them out. If we can lure one close enough without startling it...” She shot Sera a pointed stare, “I may be able to convince it to help us. As for leaving, we can leave through the rift we were originally searching for in the Wilds. It should be close by--in theory.”

“In theory? Wait, wait, WAIT.” Sera shouldered her way past Cullen and Briana., “So, you’re tellin’ me that we’re trusting _Solas?_ Quizzy, he was a shit and a liar. We can’t trust him. What if what he told you makes us demon food instead?” 

Nanami pinched the bridge of her nose, her sigh was heavy and tired. “Sera, regardless of what you think Solas has done or will do, he saved _my life_ ; He helped us defeat Corypheus and close the Breach; he’s done nothing but help the Inquisition since the day it was founded. Leaving doesn’t make him a _liar_. I know the two of you could never agree, but his information has always been honest. He left, Sera, as was his right. He didn’t betray anyone.”

“He betrayed  _you_ and that’s what I care about.”

“That had nothing to do with his commitment to the Inquisition. This argument is tiring, and I won’t continue it in the middle of the Fade.” 

“Nanami,”Cullen interjected, “ is it really wise to trust an apostate we know so little about?”

Nanami’s voice cut the silence of the fade like a dagger through week old cheese. “And what am I, Cullen? Besides, we don’t really have a choice.” 

Sera whirled round and kicked the stony ground sending a rock into the still lake. Her hands white-knuckled around her bow as she focused on the wave of ripples that spread out from her disturbance.

Briana sighed, she didn’t envy any of them and was glad to be an outsider in this argument. “Seems we’re damned if we trust him and damned if we don’t. There isn’t a friendly spirit or another demon, anywhere in sight. We are effectively lost. Without our packs we have,  _maybe,_ a day’s worth of rations between us. Whether or not we should trust Nanami’s ex-boyfriend is the least of our worries.”

“Briana, don’t be so pessimistic.” A familiar voice crept into their conversation. The voice immediately sated Briana’s worries as it reminded her of late night meetings by the fire and the sound of her friends snoring all around them. The voice of reason and tranquility in a world ruled by civil war and archdemons. Her white hair was pulled into a short ponytail and she was dressed in red Circle robes with her arms crossed. She was as old as Andraste and just as wise.

“Wynne.” If any spirit were to find them, of course it would be her. A blonde blur out of the corner of her eye whirled around with her bow strung.“Sera no!” 

The arrow flew. 

A dark light illuminated Wynne’s hand, when the arrow struck her palm the magic twisted around the arrow and shattered it into pieces that fell around Wynne’s feet. “Shite. No, no, no. Demons aren’t supposed to stop arrows.” Sera sucked her teeth and took a few steps away from the group, grabbing another arrow. Just in case.“Who’s the magicy old broad, Bri?” 

Cullen had his sword out and was ready to fight as quickly as Sera loosed her arrow but Briana stepped between them and Wynne, “Stop. I know her.” Briana waited with her arms crossed and Cullen slowly lowered his sword, but kept it clenched in his hand. When she was satisfied, Briana turned again to address Nanami.“You said a spirit came to you last time? Looks like we’re lucky enough to find another. 

“Possibly, yes, She might be the same.” Nanami explained. 

Sera lowered her bow and scowled. “I don’t like this.” 

Wynne stood in front of them, smiling as if she had some big secret. Even in the Fade, some things never changed. Still, Briana felt obliged to trust her, the kind eyes and the mischievous smile. No demon could replicate someone so well.“Wynne, where is Alistair?”

Wynne reached out to take Briana’s hand but paused and withdrew.“ I came here to tell you that it’s best if you leave here with your memories.”

“So, he is alive?”

“If what you would call his time here life, then -- yes. He’s been with Nightmare for almost two years. In the Fade that’s nearly a lifetime. The demon won’t let him die; though he wants it desperately. He views Alistair’s constant abuse as his revenge on the Inquisitor for thwarting his plans. The man you loved is dead and his body will be soon as well. Even the demon cannot keep him alive much longer.”

“If he’s going to die I won’t allow it to be here; cold and alone. I won’t abandon him.” Her cheeks were warm and in the stillness of the Fade she could hear her heart slamming against against her eardrums. The mere thought that Alistair could make it out of this desolate prison had Briana chomping at the bit.

“He would want you to. I came to warn you. Please, Briana, for once listen to me. Nightmare doesn’t know you’re here yet. Leave--all of you. If the Nightmare senses you here again he will find the rift and guard it with more ferocity than last time. I implore you, my dear, to turn away. ” The spirit pleaded but all Briana could see was the possibility that her life could return to normal.

Nanami stepped forward, “Briana, maybe we should consider --”

“No. Take me to him, Wynne. You know better than anyone that I won’t leave him.”

Wynne nodded, “I should have known killing an archdemon and surviving would go to your head.” Her smile was sad but understanding as she turned her back on the party and started forward. “Follow me.”

Briana started forward with the rest of them with Cullen and Sera slightly ahead. Sera was too suspicious to lag behind, while Cullen kept himself wedged between Wynne and Nanami. Briana imagined he was reliving what was probably his worst nightmare to keep Nanami from becoming an abomination.Cullen knew Wynne, Briana remembered, seeing her now must be yanking on those templar impulses. She could see it in his eyes, Cullen was afraid, of what, Briana was uncertain but it lingered in his grip on the hilt of his sword and the strength he used in each deliberately placed step. She’d have to have a talk with her about this weird triangle when everything was said and done.

Nanami walked beside Briana. They climbed over jagged cliffs and through lifeless pools of water. They traveled around mountains taller than the Frostbacks and then down -- into steep, sharp valleys. They saw remnants of times none of them could place; Briana recognized some of the debris: Tevinter, Orlesian, Elven, Antivan--all of it was scattered throughout the Fade without rhyme or reason. 

As they marched, there were spirits who lingered on the fringes of the path. Some peered out at them while others would run and hide. They were strange, some took the forms of people and some -- Briana didn’t know how to explain it-- they simply existed with and without solid form. When questioned, Nanami explained that the spirits may be attracted to the mark. The Avvar had told her it was like a bright flame even when she was in the real world. It was quite possible that the spirits were attracted to it like moths. “We should be thankful that they are spirits and not demons.” she added.  
Briana couldn’t agree with her more. They were all weary and tired, unable to hold a conversation much less fight. It was like the stillness of the Fade was wearing them down as a waterfall did the boulders that stood beneath it.

As another hour ticked past Briana’s impatience got the best of her and she reached forward and wrenched on Cullen’s shoulder forcing him to walk at her side. “Somethings not right. Nothing is ever this easy or boring. I’m not that lucky--and neither are you for that matter.” Her voice was low, her hand squeezing the bend between Cullen’s shoulder and neck to keep him at her height so she could talk in his ear.

Cullen nodded, “Even with a guide Nanami faced much more resistance last time. Just stay alert. It’s all we can do right now.” He patted Briana on the shoulder and returned to Nanami’s side. The elven mage was leaning heavily on her staff, but she pushed herself to stay at the head of the group. Cullen bent down to talk in her ear which prompted a scowl from Nanami but after his hand rested at the curve of her back and a few more words were said, Briana watched Nanami’s whole demeanor shift; her muscles relaxed and her shoulders dropped in defeat as she gave Cullen an apology and a nod. She withdrew a health potion from her pocket and swallowed it.

Sera was the only one who walked with even a hint of energy. Briana was convinced that was due to Sera’s unique brand of stubborn. Even though she moved with a conviction that rivaled Andraste’s commitment to the Maker, there was sweat pouring down her face and wetting her choppy blonde hair. Her cheeks were flushed a blotchy shade of pink and her chest heaved as she stomped behind Wynne with her bow gripped in her hand.

“How much farther?” Briana looked at the barren rocks below them. She wondered how Wynne even knew where they were going. 

“Not much.” Wynne smiled and pointed to a winding path that took a steep drop and was out of sight. “Nightmare is close. It’s grown weaker since last time the Inquisitor was here but no less deceitful. You’ll have to defeat it this time.” There was a pause in Wynne’s voice that was abrupt and her eyes shifted to the side as if someone were whispering in her ear. “Maker -- It knows you’re here. It’s always known. It’s been waiting.” Wynne whispered and clutched her chest, “Run -- it’s binding me.” 

Briana didn’t have time to object; Cullen made the choice for her. He grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her away from Wynne. Briana stumbled after him, looking over her shoulder. On the ground, Wynne lay in a heap of twisted bones; her screams filled the air. “Run, Run!” it shouted. Her clothing singed off her body and her flesh melted into fire. “He will have you!” It cried and a pulse rippled out from the demon like an earthquake and hit the party hard enough to send all them them tumbling to the ground. Exhaustion hit her like a pair of horse hooves to the gut. She tried to push herself to her feet but the world spun around her and she hit the hard rocky ground. In front of her Nanami lay still on her side with a nice gash on her forehead. The screams still echoed in her ear but she was unable to react.

_Not again._

She was just-so-tired.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I've finally managed a new chapter, "The Dawn Will Come". I've actually finished the entire story quite some time ago. However, editing has been daunting. Settling into a new job and life in general likes to put the breaks on when it can! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The others are close to finished in the editing process and should follow shortly.


	5. The Night is Long

Nanami woke with her heart in her throat. She stared at her bedroom ceiling for several minutes while it found it’s way back to a steady thump against her chest. She rubbed the sand from her eyes and tossed the satin sheets away from her body. The morning sun streamed through the glass doors and brought tears to her groggy eyes. Her hand was a shield against the sun as she gazed out at the Frostbacks rising beyond her windows, just as immovable and imposing as she remembered. 

_ I’m home -- Just a dream then... _

A warm, crackling fire roared in the hearth and the birds flew past the windows in small white flocks that were swift moving clouds in a clear blue sky.  __

She slipped out of bed, her warm feet turned to ice against the hard stone floor; a sensation she had grown to love since moving to Skyhold. She wandered onto the balcony where the sun’s crisp warmth soaked into her body and warmed her from her heart to her flesh while the chilled mountain breeze tickled her nose and made the tips of her ears red and numb. Nanami leaned against the rail and picked small knots out of her hair while stories below, Cullen’s new recruits trained. She watched from the balcony, enjoying a sense of tranquility she had not felt since her years with the Dalish. It was something she hadn’t realized she missed or was even lacking before today. Her mind returned to her dream: the roars of Darkspawn and the screams of a dying spirit came racing back. It made her blood run cold and her muscles stiffen.

_ This is a sign, I need to contact the Hero of Ferelden. _

The door to her chambers opened and shut quietly behind her; with the sense of urgency still twisting in her stomach she reached for the fade but before a spell could completely form it fizzled to nothing when she saw Solas ascending the stairs.

He was picking at the sleeve of his shirt without a care in the world etched on his clean, placid face. When his eyes rose and fell on her, a carefree smile touched the corners of his lips. He joined her on the balcony. “Good Morning, Veh’nan.” When Nanami lacked response, Solas leaned his hip against the balcony rail and crossed his arms., “Is everything alright? You seem distressed.” 

Something quickened in her again. A need to run filled her and pushed out the momentary contentedness that had surrounded her. Nanami listened for guards, for Liliana, or Cullen. Anyone that would take him away. Nothing came, just the sound of the hearth crackling and birds singing. The peace around her remained and conquered the urgency that plagued her. 

“Where have you been?” The words came unbidden and she found herself confused by her own impulses. She felt foolish and embarrassed. 

_ What am I saying?  _

Solas didn’t to know how to respond so, he chose to close the distance between them and rested his hands on the curve of her waist. His fingers gently pulled her chin up until their eyes met. “Look at me.” His voice was a soft, easy whisper, “I’m right here.” 

His fingers slid across her cheek and pushed her hair behind her ears. His lips were dry but soft against hers and the familiar smell of paint, lyrium, and books left her feeling whole. When he pulled back, he nodded towards their small dining table in front of the hearth. “You should eat.”

Deciding to fully embrace the morning, Nanami took Solas by the hand and tried to lead him back to the bed.“We could always have a late breakfast.”

“We could...” Solas kissed the side of her neck and urged her into her seat before he slid into his across from her, “But then we’d be late. You and I have been planning these negotiations for months, I am sure Josephine would be furious if we let our passions get in the way. Again.” He reached across the table, poured himself a cup of tea, and sat back comfortably with the teacup between his hands.

“Negotiations? What negotiations?” Again, her heart leapt into her throat as the same need to run intruded, stronger than before. Images of Briana and the Fade swam inside of her, demanding her attention; she crossed and uncrossed her legs as she leaned forward with her elbows on the table. Her eyes locked on the little porcelain cup between Solas’ hands. His voice a distant echo as Briana’s words seeped into her mind.

_ Slaying an archdemon was nothing compared to loving him! _

“The negotiations Cassandra set up with Empress Celene and your Keeper. We’re going to take back the Dales, or at least a portion of them, for our people, they will finally have a place to call home because of your efforts.” He took a sip of tea and then another and another and another.

The dream shattered; it was like noticing a small crack in a perfect mosaic.

_ The Fade -- I am so foolish. _

“You hate tea.” Her room in Skyhold became muted, a little less real. The sun wasn’t as bright; the hearth, while still crackling orange flame, became frigid; and the birds went silent.

Solas set the teacup down. “Nanami… you don’t have to do this. We can be happy here; we can have everything you ever wanted for our people, for _us._ Here, I will not abandon you. Here, you will not have to be alone. Don’t be the hero, let yourself find peace.”

When his hand reached for hers, she sprang to her feet and tore her hand away. Nanami snatached her staff from it’s resting place against the hearth. “None of this is real. None of these changes would have meaning.” She thought of the city elves scrounging for food in the alienage and the Dalish wandering throughout Thedas, clinging to their small bits of culture like a child clings to their oldest teddy, bereft of cotton or thread. Then she thought of  Briana, Sera, and _ Cullen,  _ who had sacrificed the most to see her through this mess. 

“Inquisitor, if you do this, you will suffer. Your heart needn’t break, your bones needn’t ache. Just sit back down, Veh’nan. I can make it all go away.”

All of the peace and contentment she had felt upon entering the dream were replaced by the familiar ache in her hand that crawled up her arm and poisoned her. The gift of release the demon offered still pulled at her, and begged her to put the staff down and accept this infinitely better resolution. “I can’t.”  Her words were a choked whisper and she didn’t even know if she meant them. 

Solas frowned “You would choose all that emptiness and pain to this?! You mortals continue to perplex me. You are a selfish little girl! I never loved you anyway. I loved your position and power.” 

Their intimate conversation was interrupted by Sera, who materialized at the top of the stairs, “Oh, I’ll enjoy this.” She nocked an arrow in her bow and sent it flying into Solas’ back. “Eat it Baldy.” Sera drew another arrow as Solas spun around, and loosed it into his throat. As the body fell to the floor another arrow found it’s way into his heart, “That one’s for being a shit.” The twitching body clutched at the arrow at its throat as it sunk to the ground and died. Nanami stood, frozen with her staff clutched in her hands and small drops of blood splattered on her face.  Sera stepped over Solas’ body without so much as a hesitant glance and grabbed Nanami’s wrist. “It isn’t real, Quizzy.” For once, Sera’s voice was soft and the tug on Nanami’s arm was gentle as she tried to direct Nanami away.

“I know…” Nanami’s voice was a whisper and it shook more than she’d have liked. She tugged her hand away from Sera and stared at the body for a long time, “Still…” She felt as if her heart would stop. 

”Yanno--” Sera stopped as her words were slow to come, “I’m sure that’s not how he really felt. Solas wasn’ that big of a shit.”

Nanami laugh was just a huff in her chest, “Maybe.” She leaned down beside Solas and when her fingers touched his cheek, the mirage faded away. A desire demon lay beneath, its body was twisted and bloody; horns protruded from its forehead and curled out to the side with open, black eyes staring up at her. Even after seeing it for what it was, she couldn’t get its words out of her head.

“Come on.” Sera took her hand again and pulled her away from the body. The dream was fading, the small table in front of her fireplace was beginning to blur and twist. Sera pulled her down the stairs and opened the door.The walls evaporated into smoke until she and Sera were surrounded by nothing. With the dream gone, a weight lifted off Nanami’s chest. The concern for the dead demon faded and blood pulsed in her ears like a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Sera…” She reached out and clasped her friend on the shoulder. The light of the fading dream reflected around them, “how did you get out?” Sera notched another arrow in her bow but didn’t pull it. 

“I didn’t wake up in a dream. Just blackness, yeah. I was scared as tits! But then I saw a wolf standing over the body of a dead fire demon… thing. I wasn’t afraid of it and it didn’t try to fight so, I followed it to you.”

“You trusted it?”

“ Yeah...I knew it was there to help… this is weird. Shite. Don’t ask me about it anymore! If I keep thinkin’ about it I won’t be able to shoot straight.”

“How do we get to the others.”

“Looks like we’re goin’ there now.” The world warped around them in a blur of colors and sounds. Everything clamoured together in a symphony of chaos until it finally settled. Sera and Nanami found themselves standing in a cool, damp, and stony hall. The walls were draped with thick Ferelden tapestries and statues of dogs guarded heavy oak doors. At the end of the hall was a large set of double doors on one the emblem of House Theirin was carved and lined with silver paint and on the other was the sigil of House Cousland equally matched in detail and beauty. Sera had no patience and rushed towards the door pulling an arrow back on her bow. Nanami caught up to her and placed a hand on Sera’s arm to urge her to lower her weapon.

“Stop Sera. If you just walk in there and kill Alistair I don’t think Briana will just snap out of it. We need her to see this dream as it is before we kill anything. If we have to kill her here then she may die in the real world too.”

“Fine.” Sera unnotched her arrow. She nodded in tense agreement and put her weapon away.  

Through the door Nanami heard laughing. It was happy and sweet. It gave Nanami pause, “I’m going to have to kill him all over again.”

Even Sera seemed less enthused than she had a moment ago “It’s not him. It’s a demon fucking with her head. She’ll thank us later.”

“That won’t make it hurt any less right now.” Without anymore hesitation, Nanami pushed open the large oak doors and entered the room. It was warmer than the hall and smelled of fresh firewood. There was a vase of roses on an end table and a bed piled with warm furs.  

Briana emerged from beneath the furs. Her long chocolate curls fell loose around her face and her smile stretched from ear to ear as she held the blankets around her body. “Well this puts me in a precarious position.” She reached to her left and yanked back the remaining blankets. “Alistair, we have company. The Inquisitor is here.” 

Alistair snatched the blankets quick enough to pull them back over his head. “Tell her I will meet with her tomorrow. The King is taking the day off.”

Briana pulled the covers back again, “Kings don’t get days off. Now go get ready while I catch up with my friend.”

Alistair sat up with a groan. He ran a hand through his tousled blonde hair and smiled at Sera and Nanami with a hint of red on his cheeks. He looked back at Briana and gave her a playful push on the shoulders. “Alright, Queen of Responsibility. Have it your way.” He snatched his pants from the side of the bed and pulled them on before sliding out from beneath the blankets. Once he rose he smiled at Nanami, “Lovely to see you as always, Inquisitor. But, if you’ll excuse me my wife has left me in a state unfit to be seen.” Before he could say another word a pillow met the back of his head.

“Remember the crown this time, Love.” Briana grinned and watched as Alistair stalked out of their room, less than thrilled. 

“Your desire is my command.” 

Until Briana turned her attention back to Nanami, it had been as if they were flies on a wall. Briana had less modesty than Alistair and threw the blankets off her naked body and stood up. 

A soft whistle escaped Sera, “I think I like Fade Bri.”

“I like you too Sera.” Briana’s scars were thick and jagged, they ranged from her back, to her arms, abdomen, and legs. She looked more like a wood carving than a person. She grabbed a thick fur robe and pulled it over her shoulders, “Even with magical healing, Darkspawn wounds never heal properly.” She tied the robe around her waist.

“You just fucked a-a demon!” Nanami watched the tactful approach she had planned slip through her fingers.

_ So much for sensitivity. _

Briana didn’t react she just stared at Sera with her head cocked to the side and then laughed. “ Yes, I suppose I have.” Her shoulders rolled in a careless shrug as she closed the distance between them, “Though, it’s hard to tell the difference. It’s small things like a smile that’s not quite right or a familiar phrase used a little too often. Demons don’t seem to understand subtlety the way we do. Lilly would have done a better job, don’t you agree Inquisitor?”

Nanami raised her hand to silence Sera before she could gather up enough energy for another outburst, “You know this is the Fade. You know that’s not really Alistair?”

“Of course! This isn’t my first Orlesian ball. I knew immediately, I assumed you’d show up eventually.”

“Good, that makes this a lot easier.” Nanami said, “We can kill this demon and get out of here. We still need to find Cullen.” When Briana shook her head Nanami wasn’t as surprised as she expected to be. 

As usual, Sera was the one to jump in when everyone else was still searching for the appropriate words. “What do you mean, no? You can’t--” Sera’s chest heaved as she looked at Nanami for some sort of support. “She- She can’t  _ stay. _ ” Her head whipped back around to face Briana. “You can’t stay! That’s not even him, That’s not even your real body.  _ You’re not a Queen, he’s not a King.  _ None of this is bloody real! Were gonna put an arrow in his brain, get outta this, and get back to reality!”

“I’m sorry Sera, but I am staying.”

“No! This is  _ crazy  _ no one chooses to stay with a demon.”

Briana turned her gaze away from them and looked towards the dressing room Alistair disappeared behind, “Nanami, if you find Al, tell him I’m sorry but I just couldn’t fight anymore.”

“Briana, this isn’t you. You don’t give up. You’ve traveled all the way to Skyhold just to get revenge. This is the demon talking, don’t accept this fate, fight!” Nanami could see the lack of emotion in her green eyes. The demon had done to her what Solas had tried to do. Nanami and Sera had come too late.

“I’m aware of the consequences. It’s not everyday a Warden gets to choose how they die. The voices… the Calling has been getting stronger lately, I wouldn’t live much longer anyway. Alistair would understand; Sera, Inquisitor,  let my last moments be ones that I choose.”

Nanami begged, “Please reconsider.”

“The longer you sit here and try to convince me to go, the lower  _ your  _ chances of survival are.” Nanami couldn’t deny the appeal. She looked over her shoulder as  _ Alistair  _ came back through the door, this time clothed in a fine red tunic with a fur lined collar and his crown in his hand. She looked back at Briana, still naked in a thick fur robe with her hair disheveled. It was the life Briana had dreamed of and Nanami realized she deserved it, even if it was just an illusion.

Nanami sighed, “What is it you humans say? May you find eachother again at the Maker’s--” 

“Fuck the Maker.” the  _ swoosh  _ of an arrow hissed in Nanami’s ear before she could finish the sentence. Sera’s sights were locked on Alistair. The arrow struck him in the hollow of his throat and immediately he started to convulse and twist into the form of a demon. 

Nanami opened herself to the Fade to ready a spell if she needed it.“Sera!”

“I just saved her life.” Sera ducked when Briana reached for her. Slowly, the world around them began to warp and twist. With the the death of the demon the castle was unable to sustain itself no matter how much Briana wanted it. The robe that was wrapped around Briana’s nude body molded to her skin and reformed into her steel and blue warden armor. By the time the armor wrapped around her hands she had caught Sera. Her metal fist met the young elf’s cheek and left her face bloody and bruised. 

“That was not your right!” Briana’s voice was clogged with fret. She took Sera by the shoulders and shook her. “I want to die, why won’t anyone just let me die?!” 

Sera kneed Briana in the gut, slipped out of her grasp, and jumped back. Briana’s anger warped the dream around them. The magic thrummed in Nanami’s mind and pulled on the lyrium in her veins. It was like the tapestry the demon created was ripping at the sheer force of Briana’s anger. The room was swallowed by blackness and the three of them were left standing in complete darkness. Nanami could only hear Sera and Briana exchanging blows until a sliver of light split the darkness and illuminated them. Nanami stepped towards the small tear in the dream and through it poured a voice she didn’t recognize.

_ She’s a Broodmother now Alistair. She went into the Deep Roads without you and the Darkspawn took her. They held her down and fed her their flesh. She embraced her corruption and so should you. _

“Loghain?” Briana stopped her assault on Sera and threw the elf to the ground. Sera rolled across what could only have been a hard floor and picked herself up. Her arms shook from stress and blood ran from her busted lip. The magic to wrapped around Briana and released in rhythmic beats; her anger was a beating heart with her at it’s center. The thrumming magic pressed against the light and the tear became wider. Beyond the it, they were all finally able to see images. A man with long, black hair and heavy silverite armor stood over an emaciated Warden Alistair.

“You’re lying.” Alistair’s voice was almost inaudible, “I know her. She’d never --” 

“Then let me show you, you would be King.” Logain reached down where Alistair lay and grabbed a fist full of bedraggled hair and dragged him to his feet. “Briana!” Alistair screamed and as quick as the tear had come, it repaired itself and they were once again in silence and darkness.

Sera wiped the blood from her lips “What the fuck was that?”

“Alistair’s alive.” Briana stared, unmoving, at the darkness that had once held the tear. The laugh started from her gut and forced it’s way up. It was so violent that her shoulders shook and her tears fell from her eyes. The anger washed away from her in a sudden burst of clarity. The demon’s spell had been broken.

Nanami couldn’t deny what she saw and heard, but a twinge of mistrust gnawed at the back of her mind. “It’s more likely the demon is playing with us; letting us think he’s alive just to feed off of us for longer.”

“Your welcome, by the way.” Sera spat and then shot a glare towards Nanami, “You were going to let her kill me?”

“I’m sorry Sera. The surge of magic that came with Briana’s anger surprised me and by the time I could step in, the fight had ended.”

Briana looked at Sera, “Thank you, Sera. If this was a mistake on the demon’s part we now know that Alistair is alive enough to save.”

“Yeah, well…” Sera rolled her shoulders in a shrug.

“I hope the nightmare demon has finally made an error.” Nanami smiled as the darkness around them started to reshape. “Let’s find Cullen and get back to our bodies.”

Sera grinned, “Well, I wonder who  _ he’s  _ going to be rolling around in bed with.” 


	6. And the Path is Dark

Colors of green, red, grey, and white whipped around them until they stood at Skyhold’s gates. The moon lit up the night sky and the cool air was still. Nanami directed herself towards the steep steps that led into the main hall. Everything was abandoned; the sign at the tavern door hung by one chain, and swayed from side to side though no breeze traveled through the air. The flags that framed the staircase to the main hall hung limp in dirty strips of torn cotton. No one barred their advance and there was no sign that anyone was going to.

She climbed the steps cautiously at first; when she reached the landing between the two flights of stairs, she looked towards Blackwall’s barn. In the distance she saw an army of impaled heads. “What has the demon done?” fear throbbed in her heart and mana swelled in her veins; her body faded and without caution, Nanami fade-stepped up the second flight of steps. When she faced the heavy oak doors, she saw her own marked hand nailed to the front of it. Ignoring it, she raised her staff and slammed its bladed end into the stone floor. With a sharp snap and a loud pop, a fire mine tore the doors off their hinges and flung them into hall.

The great hall was brighter than she expected; she rose her hands to protect her eyes and immediately she recognized the song of red lyrium, humming in the back of her mind. The walls were crusted with a thin layer of the parasitic crystal. Nanami rushed in, ignoring the song in her haste but was brought to a halt just a few steps in. Over the hearth she saw Varric, hanging long dead and rotted. Further in, a pair of Qunari horns were mounted on a wall, supporting a familiar Venatori staff. Finally, the heads of Josephine and Leliana were in a place of honor on either side of the Inquisitor’s throne.

“No, no, no, no” Sera’s voice quivered and her steps were hesitant as she moved into the hall. Everything was silent except for the sound of crunching lyrium underfoot.

“I have to find him.” Nanami shook off her distress and flew through Solas’ study towards Cullen’s office. When she hit the stale night air, the song in her head cleared. With renewed vigor she marched across the battlements. In the distance, she could see Cullen’s office. She stopped in front of it, heart pounding. “I’m going in-- alone.”

Sera wanted to be obstinate but Briana laid a hand on her shoulder and shook her head. “Yell if you need us.”

Nanami pushed the door open and stepped in. The red lyrium’s song invaded every nerve as soon as she crossed into his office. She stopped with her hands on the door and her eyes closed. She eased the door shut behind her and when she could suppress the song she opened her eyes and saw Cullen. He was sitting behind his desk; old documents were torn and scattered around him, bottles knocked over and broken. Cullen was leaning on his elbows with his face in his hands. His whispers were soft and fast as he rocked himself back and forth.  

Nanami took cautious steps towards him, “Cullen.”

Cullen didn’t stir.

His usually well maintained hair was oily and disheveled. It seemed time had passed differently for Cullen than it had for the rest of them, who knew how long the demon had exposed him to this. “I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Fade; for there is no darkness, nor death either, in the Maker’s Light, and nothing that he has wrought shall be lost.”

“Cullen, it’s Nanami. Please hear me.” At her insistence, Cullen’s head snapped up and he stared at Nanami. His yellow eyes were were dry, the rim around his iris gleamed red and they were filled with unsullied anguish. Nanami withdrew her staff from her back. “Cullen--”

“Not this madness again!” He rose from his chair and slammed his fists into the table. The wood cracked under his strength. “I will not succumb to your trickery, demon.” His hand wrapped around the edge of his desk and gripped the wood so tightly the small rivets in his gauntlets dug into the wood. “Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.”

“This isn’t a trick” Nanami approached him with one hand on her staff while the other touched his hand. “You’re safe.”

Cullen snatched her wrist hard enough to make Nanami drop her staff. It clattered against the hard stone floor and rolled several feet away. Cullen snarled like a wild mabari “Get away from me. I won’t take your poison.” He released her and his voice dropped “You’ve done enough.”

Nanami grabbed his hand again and when he tried to pull away she held tight. Cullen tried to wrest away from her, but he only managed to pull the lithe elf off her feet and onto the desk. Nanami had to grab hold of the ledge to stop him from pulling her any further. She knelt on the desk, and pleaded with him. “Cullen! it’s me -- It’s really me. Look at me, please just look.” She could feel tears touching the corners of her eyes. She’d never seen Cullen like this, so unwound and defeated, “I’m not a demon. You haven’t failed, you’ve been stronger than any of us. I’m sorry Cullen. I should have never let you come. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t move or speak; he stared at her for a long time. When she was sure he was listening she spoke as gently as she spoke to spooked halla. “How did I die? Tell me.” her thumb caressed the soft flesh above his pulse as she did, she sent the barest pulses of magic into his body. She used it to soothe him and coax him to focus on her rather than the nightmare. His hand began to relax around hers and he no longer resisted her touch.

“Corypheus” His voice was hoarse, caught between his chest and his throat. “came to Skyhold. I wasn’t able to get you to safety. The only way to save you was to take the red lyrium, I tried to resist but for you I --.” Cullen released her hands and rubbed his face. “Wait-- that’s not right -- We defeated Corypheus. You did.”

“Yes.” Nanami urged him to remember, “How?”

“Corypheus came to Skyhold, true, but… you fought him. You won.” The red that clouded his vision dissipated. He stood straighter and ran a shaking hand through his hair, “Maker, how many more demon tricks must I fall for?” He scanned his office looking at the red lyrium and the bottles that littered the floor.

“It did it to all of us, Cullen I--”

Cullen kissed her.

His arms embraced her, they were strong and warm as he pulled her gently off the desk until she stood on her own two feet. It was sudden, but soft, sweet, and not entirely un-reciprocated. Ever since that night she overheard him with Briana and Sera, a small kindling had been lit her in heart. Though, she hadn’t had the time nor energy to piece it all together.

Now, however, it was a forest fire.

“Maker forgive me; I thought I’d lost you.” Their noses touched they were so close. Her mind raced with a million things and none of them could sate the situation.

_By the Dread Wolf what am I going to do?!_  

She withdrew herself from his arms and took slow steps towards the door. Cullen stood scratching the back of his neck while his cheeks remained a soft shade of pink. “Nanami--Inquisitor, I --”

Nanami could only manage a quick, “It’s alright.” Deciding that the last thing she wanted to do was _talk_ about it. “We should-- go.” She pointed towards the door. “Briana and Sera are waiting for us.” She gathered her staff and went for the door.

Briana and Sera were waiting with their weapons raised.

Seeing Nanami unharmed, they relaxed. “We almost came in after we heard scuffling-- how’s Cullen?” Briana asked while lowering the head of her axe to the ground and leaning her arm on its pommel.

Cullen walked out after Nanami, rubbing the back of his neck and looking embarrassed.

Briana inspected the two and let out a low, amused chuckle, “You’re blushing? What happened?”

Sera scoffed, "Quizzy found another naked Quizzy. That's how all these things are going. Though..." Sera looked at her dreary surrounding and her whole body trembled, "this is some weird kink..."

"Who were _you_ naked with, then?" Briana asked, her smile growing as she watched the outrage build in Sera's big green eyes.

"No one you tit!"

"It was me -- it had to be me." Briana sighed and sheathed her axe, "Another time -- another Blight. Maybe."

Sera's face continued to twist into shapes Nanami didn't know existed. "Oh shut it."

“Ok you two, we need to find the demon and get out of here.” Nanami shouldered past the two of them without pausing to answer any questions and walked back down the battlements.

_Mythal protect me… What timing._

They met no resistance between Cullen’s office and Solas’ study. Snow whirled around Nanami’s staff ready to release a spell, for once in her life she felt like she needed to hit something, but no enemies appeared to sate that desire. The main hall was still save for the dim, red, pulsing light that sang sweet nothings in their minds. Finally, at the front of the main hall, on her throne, a figure stirred and stood.

“How unfortunate. Minor demons are altogether useless.” The demon wore Wynne’s skin but spoke with the voice of Corypheus. “Nightmare will not be pleased. He likes to play with broken little templars.” Her arms crossed over her chest, “You should have stayed in your rooms. It would have ended a lot more comfortably for you.”

Briana’s grip tightened around her axe “I’ve never been inclined to make life easier for demons. You have my husband and I want him back.”

The demon sucked her teeth in a disappointing tone. “Now, Briana. Is that anyway to treat an old friend? Do you really want to wake up just to die?”

The demon touched her chin and considered the four of them. An unnatural smile was stretched across her human face. As if it didn’t quite understand how human bodies worked. The lips stretched too far back while her teeth were unevenly spaced and too sharp. Her skin was growing paler and her eyes were becoming milky. Wynne walked towards them, her eyes locked on Sera, “You chose darkness over happiness. So unappreciative; I shouldn’t be surprised. That’s all you are.”

“Shove it.” Sera lifted her bow and shot an arrow at Wynne. Wynne lifted a hand and caught it mid flight.

“You shouldn’t have done that, knife-eared brat! I was _trying_ to be reasonable. Just like an elf to come looking for a fight. Well fine, if all you know is violence then I am happy to oblige.” The demon’s body started to writhe and the walls began to shake. The red lyrium that surrounded them cracked and fell in small sharp shards of red rain.

Cullen yelled, “Spread out!” and everyone dispersed. Nanami threw an ice spell at the demon, then sent her magic to wrap her friends in a protective blanket.She ran with Sera towards the main doors while Briana and Cullen held their ground near the hearth.

The demon stood in the center of the room, wings sprouted from her back and she roared.The demon grew and soon towered over them. Scales folded over flesh and long curling horns sprouted from her forehead. Compared to other dragons she was small, but no less intimidating. Her scales sunk around her bones and red lyrium radiated from between obsidian teeth; the beast was a black and red lantern in the darkness of the hall.

Corypheus’ laugh shook the stone walls. “If you ever want to return to your bodies I suggest you kill me quickly.” She reared her skeletal head and spit a ball of red magic that collided  with Cullen’s shield. The force knocked the templar back but he maintained his balance; he slammed his sword against his shield, the loud clamor of steel against steel drew the dragon’s attention towards him.

Sera didn’t wait for an invitation; she ran forward and stuck arrows into the beast’s hind quarters. A few bounced off the animal’s thick hide but with some good aim, and luck, a few slid between the scales and buried in soft muscle. The dragon poised her hind claw to strike Sera but before she could stike, Sara tumbled away to a safe distance.

Nanami slammed her staff into the ground; beneath the dragon, an intricate circle of ice, in the shape of elven runes appeared. The light within the ice grew until enough magic pushed through the spell that, it exploded in a flurry of ice and snow around the dragon. Once the spell finished, the dragon’s body was left encased in a film of hard ice. The dragon flexed her muscles and turned towards the mage; the ice that encased her cracked and fell like shattered glass.  Her tail swept across the throne room’s floor, knocking over tables, chairs, and the heavy Ferelden throne. Nanami pulled on the Fade and summoned a gust of wind to stop a stray chair from colliding with her. When the dragon’s tail swept towards her, she leaped into the air and over the mass of muscle and scale. She raised her staff again; this time electricity prickled across her skin and traveled down her arms until it became a bright crackling ball at the top of her staff. She rose it above her head and the ball of lightning released; an array of bolts focused on the body of the dragon, and her whole body became paralyzed. The amount of mana it took to hold the dragon for only a few seconds made Nanami sweat but it was enough time for Briana and Cullen.

Briana dug her axe into the dragon’s front claws. The pain broke the dragon’s paralysis and she spun towards Briana, snapping dagger sharp teeth at her as she rolled beneath the dragon’s belly. Briana stood and swung her axe above her head and into the silky soft underbelly.

The dragon’s hind quarters kicked without purpose and her body trashed in an attempt to get away from the axe. The struggle only pushed the axe deeper, blood pour from the wound and onto Briana. It slid down the axe’s haft, across her armor, and into her eyes where she was blinded.

Panic tamed the demon’s initial bravado, she stretched her massive leathery wings and pushed them against the unmoving stone walls. When she realized she could not fly, she screamed and reared back, exposing her supple bleeding belly. The dragon smashed her front claws into the stone floor. The beautiful stonework cracked beneath her forced weight and her large black claws pulled up the tiles, exposing the mountain soil beneath. Briana wiped blood from her eyes and escaped the dragon’s violent retreat.

Sera’s arrows came down like a heavy rain and tore through the beast’s fragile wings.  The dragon charged towards the door in another attempt to free herself but Cullen stepped between it and the dragon. The dragon bowed her head like a bull and bared her teeth; the templar didn’t hesitate, Cullen met the challenge the dragon slammed her head into Cullen’s shield. Her hard horns dented the metal and Cullen was pushed out into the open air. He aimed his sword blindly and with the Maker’s fortune, the tip of his sword found its way into the dragon’s nostril.

The dragon tore away from Cullen and lost its battle for the door. Blood, thick and warm flowed down her muzzle and dripped onto the floor. She sucked in a deep breath and as she did, the red lyrium in the hall began to glow. It tore away from the walls and gathered in the back of her throat.

Cullen held his ground at the door. Briana, covered in dragon’s blood, ran along the side of the dragon, trying to reach Cullen before the lyrium was released.  As the beast lowered her head Briana sunk her blade into the dragon’s neck. The thickness of her scales minimised the axe’s damage but the beast jerked her head back and the red Lyrium expelled from deep within her throat and smashed into the ceiling, missing Cullen completely. The dragon swung her head around and ripped Briana’s axe from her grip. The steel crunched in her powerful jaws and the oak haft snapped.  

A dwarven-made chandelier came loose and crashed onto the dragon’s back; the pointed iron crashed into the dragon’s spine. She roared, and reached around with her long, bleeding neck and grabbed the iron piece in her jaws. Like trying to hammer a nail the dragon swung the chandelier down onto Cullen’s shield.

The force was enough to bring the templar to his knees.

The second time it targeted Briana. One, two, three times it slammed the twisted iron into her body. Briana used a chunk of her axe as a shield but when the chandelier connected in a fourth, monstrous swing, Briana’s abdomen took the hit. The iron punctured her dragon bone armor, and her already fragile ribs crunched and snapped. It skewered her like a piece of meat. Briana cried and gripped the twisted metal and stared into the dragon’s big red eyes. The dragon lifted her into the air and tossed Briana like a piece of kindling into the stone hearth.

And there the Hero of Ferelden rested. Unmoving.

The dragon prided herself on a job well done, her chuckle boomed off the walls and into the ears of Briana’s companions. Cullen called to Briana and Sera nocked another arrow. Nanami called out to her, “Sera, cover me!” she summoned a wisp of mana and it wrapped around her and pulled her to Briana’s side. Everything was a mess. The metal that surrounded her looked like a maze. The metal punctured her armor in several places, there wasn’t anyway for Nanami to know which injuries had been lethal; she’d have to heal them all.

Nanami concentrated on getting rid the iron first, and summoned a surge of magic; ice crept across the metal until every inch of it was glistening. She sent another tempered pulse of mana through the chandelier and the metal cracked. Nanami pulled the broken pieces off of Briana, while leaving the metal that pierced her armor.

“You’ll die here!” The dragon jumped into the air and dug her claws into Skyhold’s cold stone walls. With a wave of her staff, Nanami wrapped her allies in a shield to minimize the damage of falling stones as the dragon made her escape. The dragon stretched her wings and reached for the hole created by the chandelier.

Sera lept into the air and sent a swarm of arrows into the dragon’s neck. The dragon roared and snapped at the arrows, crunching a few with her black teeth. While she was distracted, Nanami sent a bolt of ice over her head. When the storm of arrows receded, the dragon continued her climb but when she reached forward she got a claw full of ice. She scrambled and raked her claws against the stone but she could not find her grip. She fell and landed on her side with incredible force. The sound of her delicate wings snapping rung throughout the hall. Cullen lunged between the dragon’s kicking hind legs and pierced its belly with his sword. With the dragon prone, Nanami was able to turn her attention back to Briana. The Hero’s were cold to the touch and the pink in her cheeks had faded. Blood still pumped beneath her skin and though shallow, Briana still breathed. Nanami removed the iron spikes one at a time and began the healing process.

Behind her she could hear the dragon climbing again. As the stones started to fall, Nanami had to abandon Briana. The majority of the bleeding had been stopped, but it had not been enough to wake her. As she rose to her feet, Cullen met her where she stood and wrapped an arm around her. He forced her to crouch down once again and pulled his shield over their heads just as stone fell from the sky.

Nanami struggled to look beyond Cullen’s shoulder, “Where’s Sera?” Nanami gathered ice at the tip of her staff. The dragon was bleeding and weak. She just needed one clean hit and they could escape. She fragmented the ice into small daggers and threw them at the dragon. Some daggers iced the wall again while others dug into already open wounds. The dragon slipped but held her grip this time. Blood flowed down her black body in small red rivers, she had abandoned her plan to kill them and simply sought escape.  

Cullen’s voice rang in Nanami’s ears “Maker, stop you attack -- Sera’s _on_ the dragon!”

_Of course she is._

As sure as she was to find nug shit in Orzammar, Nanami found Sera holding on to the spikes of the dragon’s back. The dragon’s protests were meak; she was too busy keeping herself on the wall to properly kick Sera off. Nanami and Cullen were forced to watch as the dragon and Sera reached the hole above. Sera positioned herself between two spikes on the neck. She lifted her bow and notched an arrow. The dragon whipped its head around and tried to grab her with it’s obsidian teeth. As it did, Sera loosed her arrow and it buried itself deep into the dragon’s eye. It screamed and released it’s hold on the wall. It tried to use it’s wings to cushion its fall but the membranes had been burnt, sliced, and torn. They were useless. All the dragon could do was push her fragile wings into the wall to slow her fall, scraping off her own scales until the thin white tendons could be seen beneath.

Nanami pulled on the dregs of her mana just before the dragon crashed into the ground she threw the spell into Sera and shielded her as her small, lithe body bounced against the stone floor. Before the dragon could recover from the fall, Cullen removed himself from Nanami’s side and thrust the point of his sword between the dragon's eyes. Nanami pulled on a string of magic she tethered to Sera’s shield and pulled her away from the dragon as it died beneath Cullen’s sword.


	7. Look to the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I was going to run through this a few more times and post it on Monday. However, it seems a lot of people need something to be excited about right now so I pushed through one last draft and managed to get it out tonight!
> 
> To all those people (old and new) who are reading and enjoying my story, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your words of encouragement. It's because of you guys that I have been able to continually work on this story and strive to make it the best that I can. I really hope you enjoy this new installment, as it has torn me up with all the decisions I had to make here and moving forward with the story line.
> 
> Anyway, thank you again and enjoy Chapter 7: Look to the Sky!

Briana opened her eyes to a silent hall and a dead archdemon laying in front her. She could hear hordes of darkspawn scattering below Fort Drakon, the bloodcurdling screams of Blight survivors, and the softer sound of crackling flame. She expected to see Alistair, Lilly, and Wynne at her side. Instead she saw people she didn’t recognize. A Dalish mage with wispy black hair and another disheveled blonde elf with a bow strung across her back. She tried to stand and found that she was being carried by that crazy templar from the Ferelden Circle. Cullen looked down at her and smiled a very un-crazy smile. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” The sound of his voice acted as a familiar anchor and pulled all of her memories from the present back and pushed the dream away. The song, Urthemiel’s song remained.

“Put me down.” Her voice was dry and wavered with the simplest demand, but Cullen set her on her feet without complaint. Briana stumbled, her own weight being too much for her knees to handle, and Cullen caught her around the waist until she found her center. 

“Take it easy. You’ve taken quite the beating.” His chide was soft and well meaning. He stood with her until she adjusted to having all her weight carried by her own bones again. Every muscle in her body demanded she allow Cullen to carry her the rest of the way, but her pride demanded she walk. She steadied herself on her feet, patted Cullen on the shoulder, and marched forward with the rest of the party. Her armor was in no condition for more fighting. It was dented and punctured from the damage wrangling a dragon caused. A piece of the metal pushed uncomfortably against her spine and became a constant source of pain as she continued the short walk to Nanami’s side.

“You’re going to need a lot of rest once we get out of here.” Nanami said as they walked out the front doors of Skyhold and into the open night air..

“I’ll be fine.” Briana looked back within the keep. It was destroyed. The dragon had gutted the throne room leaving nothing intact, save the cold stone walls that served as a skeleton for the remains within. 

The dream hadn’t faded as all the others had; the longer they stood there, the more Briana began to worry that it wouldn’t disperse. Just as her worries began to swell, the keep turned black. A powerful force threatened to crack her chest as it thrust her back into her body. 

The stale air of the Fade filled her deflated lungs. She could hear the others around her, coughing and pushing themselves to their feet. Briana grabbed her axe and used it to push herself up. The exhaustion and pain from the fight with the dragon stayed with her, though now it was only a soft throb of sore insides. Her dragonbone armor was whole, and though every bone wished she’d rest, she pressed forward, helping Nanami to her feet and drinking another potion to dull the pain.

In the distance Briana could see a bright green light that hadn’t been there before. Nanami saw it too, “Our way out.” relief laced Nanami voice and she even smiled a little.

“Or a trap. Let's go.” Briana started down the rocky path without waiting for the others to follow. 

Nanami caught up with her about halfway down the steep slope, “Alistair may not be there.” Her pity was as visible as an Orlesian mask from Ferelden. 

“I saw him, Nanami. I know you think it was just the demon but I know my husband. I’ll find Alistair-- one way or another.” 

“He wouldn’t want you to die for him.”

“And, I didn’t want him to sacrifice his life for this, for the Wardens, for you. Yet, here we are: cleaning up messes none of us approved of in the first place. I didn’t set out to be a hero and I have a feeling you didn’t embrace becoming the Herald of Andraste.” Briana didn’t intend to sound as accusatory as she had, but it was enough for Nanami to leave her alone, while Urthemiel sang his sweet song in the back of her head.”We all do what we must.”

For the rest of the descent Briana thought about her dream: being quiet and content in Denerim, with Alistair on the throne. With her at his side, maybe he would have come to appreciate the safety. Perhaps they’d have less scars and more smiles. She had been telling herself she’d done the right thing for so long, that she had begun to believe it. The demon, however, brought back all of the doubt she felt when she had been standing in the Landsmeet staring at Alistair and Anora. Was that really the best solution? She could have protected him, she could have put him on the throne and then they wouldn’t be here, once again, mixed up in Thedas politics. They’d have Ferelden. They’d have each other; in the end that’s all Briana had wanted. 

_ But _ , she reminded herself, _ Alistair was no King _ . 

After all this time, he was no Politician. Even in Ferelden, ruling a country was a game and Anora was still the best player. Briana couldn’t protect Alistair from daggers she couldn’t see. Darkspawn were easier enemies. But still, the ache in her heart for a moment of peace pulled at her like a chained mabari pulls on his leash. She had put Ferelden’s needs ahead of her own ten years ago and it brought her down a jagged path to collect her husband’s body.

_ What’s done is done... _

As the party came closer to the rift, the never ending sea of stone became covered in thick, sticky spider silk. Nanami burned through some, while Cullen and Briana cut through others. When they finally reached the end, a man met them in front of the rift. A short elven man with a bald head wearing dull green and brown cotton clothes and a large spider’s web with human sized cocoons looming behind him. 

As quiet as a deer Nanami lept ahead of Briana and unleashed a spell of ice and snow towards the elf. He stepped out of the way and pursed his lips with a soft ‘tsk,tsk,tsk’.

“Nanami I thought you had more heart, more love. Or, has it all shifted to that abomination? That kiss meant more than you expected, didn’t it?” His hard yellow eyes focused on Cullen and bore down on him with more contempt than Briana supposed a demon could feel for any one person.

Nanami clenched her fist around her staff. “You can’t use the same trick twice.” 

The demon’s eyes rolled with a special kind of indignation that only came to those who were used to winning.“You misunderstand me, Veh’nan. This isn’t a trick. I’m showing you your destiny.” With a smile on his face he approached her and drew a line in the dirt between them with the tip of his toe. “You’ll kill Solas because your honor dictates you must. You’ll save Thedas, but at the cost of his life.” Briana laid a hand on a small pouch of powder deep in her pocket; behind her she heard Cullen’s sword unsheath and the pull on Sera’s bow. 

The demon shot his attention towards Briana. “That’s not smart. I have what you came for.” With a snap of his fingers, the web vibrated and a cocoon fell to the ground. “I hope  _ that  _ didn’t kill him.” The spider’s silk unraveled and Briana’s heart leapt into her throat when she saw a muss of blonde hair.

_ Al.  _

His face was sunken and malnourished but his chest rose and fell with the softest, weakest breaths. 

“It’s been fun killing you, over and over again Warden. Delicious, even.” Briana tried to run to him but she met an invisible wall. She rose her axe and swung at the barrier but it crashed against it with no success. “I don’t just  _ give  _ gifts, Briana. Your husband has so many fears, so much regret. It’d be a shame to just give him away for  _ free _ .” A spell died on Nanami’s staff and Briana stepped away from the barrier. “Good girls.”

“We’re not actually going to listen to this...thing?” Sera stepped forward with her bow still in hand, “Let’s just punch through this tit and get out of here. I’m piss tired of this place.”

“Briana,” She heard Cullen’s voice, deep and quiet behind her, “We can’t negotiate with demons. Nothing good will come of it.”

“I’m listening.” Briana didn’t bother looking at Sera, Nanami, or Cullen. She didn’t need to, to know that their weapons were trained on her.

The demon smiled, “I knew you were reasonable, Warden. In the end, you’ll always do what’s best -- for  _ you _ . I know you; you don’t care about him as much as you care about the stability he offers. Now listen, I need a new supply of food. I need a  _ larger _ supply; ever since that fool Corypheus failed I have been a beggar and scavenger. I am tired of this place and would prefer to move among the living. I want you to let me move through the physical world through you or the Inquisitor. Do this and I promise not to harm another hair on Alistair’s head.” Briana looked at the Inquisitor. The Inquisitor would be busy fighting the demon if it tried to possess her and then there was the templar. One on one she could beat him but even with the Inquisitor at the mercy of the demon, she’d still have the rogue to contend with. 

She felt the dagger at her hip. 

_ The archer’s close enough. Cut her throat and then turn on the templar while the demon is busy with the Inquisitor. I could do it. In minutes I could have Al and be out of here. _

She looked at Alistair lying unconscious beneath the web; she watched his slow, labored breathing and saw the way his skin stretched over his muscle and bone. 

“Take the Inquisitor.”

Nanami rose her staff and Sera drew an arrow. The demon dropped his shield and reached for Nanami. Briana inserted herself between Nanami and the demon. One of Sera’s arrows scraped against her armor and she could hear Cullen’s sword sliding from its sheath. “You don’t know me as well as you think.” She tackled the demon and the two of them fell to the ground. Briana wrapped her legs around his waist and dug into the small bag at her waist. She pulled out a small paper packet of the same powder she had used on Nanami and forced the poisonous dust between his lips. The demon convulsed and lost its physical form almost immediately. It roared as flesh melted away, leaving nothing but a twisted, incomprehensible body made of fade energy; its thin green wisps carved claw marks into the stone before they expanded into long thin strips and receded into a tiny green ball. 

Briana ran towards Alistair while the others ran for the Rift. 

“You are going to regret that! We had a deal! It was a good deal!” The demon boomed from the tiny, green ball. 

It’s body began to reform, “Come on Al, let’s get you home.” When she grabbed him, a giant spider dropped from the web and wrapped its legs around her. Ahead of her, more spiders fell from above. One caught Nanami on the shoulder and Briana watched as its fangs crunched through her flimsy cloth and leather armor. Cullen sent his sword through the spider’s body and ripped it away from Nanami. He was too late however, vines of venom were already climbing Nanami’s neck and she collapsed.

Briana wretched the spider off her back and clutched her axe in her hands. With a swift strike between the eyes, the beast was dead. She looked to where the Nightmare had fallen and saw no sign of him. The spiders began to regroup but a figure appeared between Briana and the spiders. With a raise of its hand, a burst of yellow light erupted around them. It looked back at her, its face was familiar and masculine but different from the demons she had encountered before. Whatever it was, didn’t try to make itself more definite. It had the outline of a man with a kind face and glowing eyes. It exuded a sense of calm confidence. 

When the light faded, there was nothing but dead spiders and silence. The spirit said nothing at first. It’s hollow eyes stared at Nanami, Cullen, Sera, and finally Briana. “You haven’t much time, Pup. I gave you what I could; say your goodbyes and go -- quickly.” 

The spirit was gone in a gust of wind; the sound of her father’s voice still ringing in her ears. Briana dropped to her knees, and pushed spider webs off of Alistair’s body. In the distance Cullen called out to her but she didn’t listen. She focused on the man she had come for. “Just once more, Alistair… look at me; I didn’t abandon you. Wake up. We have to go.” She could feel everyone else’s eyes on her as she shook him. Her fingers combed through his knotted hair. 

But his eyes didn’t open. 

“Cullen help me!” Her fingers unfastened his rusted grey warden breastplate and she threw it to the side. It scraped and slid across the ground far away from them. 

“Briana.” Cullen’s voice was closer now, “He’s not going to make it and--Nanami isn’t waking up. We have to go.”

With the breastplate out of the way she hunched over his body and pressed her ear over his heart. She listened as it beat slower and slower. 

It stopped. 

“No.” Tears filled her eyes and tumbled down her cheeks. “No, no, no” her shaking hands grabbed his shirt and she pulled him onto her lap. “Come on Al.” She felt a strong hand on her shoulder, urging her away. 

Briana shook her head, “No.” She sat up with Alistair’s head still in her lap. She removed the rose from her hair; her long curls came tumbling down to her shoulders in a mess of knots and blood. She wiped her face but only managed to smear it with more dirt. “Leave.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’ve fought too many battles and sacrificed too much. Let Josephine spin a beautiful story for you.” She set the rose on Alistair’s chest, “I’m tired, Cullen. The Calling is coming for me. I feel it sliding through my blood and pumping in my heart. I won’t live much longer if I return and the death that awaits me there would be far more painful. I came here to die. Nanami didn’t, you need to go.” She stared at the rose resting on his heart; the petals, one by one, fell and disintegrated. “And Cullen, when the opportunity arises, take her as far away from the Inquisition as you can. Or else you may find yourself in my boots one day.” A soft glow emanated from the green stem. It grew brighter and brighter, then shattered as if it had been made of glass. It was beautiful and Briana found herself smiling. She thought of Wynne and when she asked her to preserve the rose. It had taken her days to give it back and she had never explained why. She must have known the two of them would end this way. It was a small, beautiful farewell for the one constant in her life, from a woman who she had considered family. 

It was better than any funeral the wardens could have provided. 

_ Thank you Wynne. _

Cullen’s voice was quiet. “This is no place for either of you to die. We’re going, together.” 

Briana didn’t respond. She remained focused on Alistair’s sunken face. He looked like he was sleeping. Briana sat as still as a statue, her body felt numb, heavy, and hollow. Like a husk of corn that had been stripped of every bit of nourishment. As she sat there she didn’t feel the movement in the air behind her nor did she see Sera’s arrow fly past her. However, the familiar voice of Loghain Mac Tir pushed against through the fog in her mind. 

_ You’ll never have your happy ending, Grey Warden.  _

Cullen reached for her and Sera yelled her name. 

Briana didn’t reach for her axe even though she could have. Nor did she try to stand when she felt the pull of Cullen’s hand on her arm. The idea of death calmed her and she welcomed it. She’d see her father and her mother again; she wouldn’t feel the weight of responsibility on her shoulders any longer. She’d been carrying that boulder for too long and she was ready to sleep. She was so, very tired. 

It was muted chaos. 

Cold steel punctured her armor, blood filled her mouth, and when she looked down she saw a sword shoved through her chest. Her body relaxed as the blade withdrew and she fell on her side. She felt cold, and though her muscles began to fail, her hand clutched Alistair’s for one last time. It was warm and reminded her of long nights curled up in front of a fire while Lilly and Zev sang songs and told stories. 

Who would have guessed her final thoughts would be of the Blight?


	8. For One Day Soon

Nanami felt soft green grass beneath her and a hot sun above her. The smell of flowers, tree sap, and elfroot filled her nose. She was surrounded by dense, living forest. She could hear birds and a young halla baying for it’s mother not too far away. She hadn’t seen so much green since she’d ventured into the Emerald Graves. It was like being home again; she took a deep breath and let the warmth of the sun prickle across her skin.  

She felt lighter and realized she was without her armor. In a moment of panic she pulled on the power of the fade, but she stopped as someone she hadn’t noticed before stood up from under a nearby tree. The familiar face marching towards her dissolved her panic and replaced it with rage.

“What were you thinking?!” Solas’s voice boomed in her ears. He knelt down to her level and grabbed her shoulders, “Jumping physically back into the Fade, and for what? A dead man? It was foolish, you could have been killed!”

“You haven’t been around. You don’t _get_ to weigh-in.” She pushed his hands away and stood up, she was tired of seeing his face. Nanami looked around the forested area and saw no sign of her friends. “Where are we, demon?”

Solas looked aghast, “I’m not a demon, you’re safe here.”

She tried to think herself out of the vision only to find that her mind was clear, like when she and Solas used to meet in her dreams. It didn’t ease her anger, however, if anything it fanned the flames. “How did you know where I was?”

“Spirits, Veh’nan, you were easy to find.” Solas sighed, “You know you don’t owe the Warden anything; Why put yourself at such risk for a woman half out of her mind with Blight?”

The familiar endearment smoothed the rough edges of her anger. “You said, “Veh’nan”? So, you still...?”   

He was hesitant; Solas looked down and straightened his sleeve, keeping his attention off of her, “Of course… but Nanami --” She closed the distance between them and kissed him. She had been through too much to allow him to be dismissive. No matter how deep in the Fade they were, Solas was as real to her here as he had been in the warm confines of his study. He felt solid and safe, his arms didn’t encircle her, and his lips returned her kiss half heartedly.

Nanami stepped away from him but he pulled her chin up and his lips pressed against hers in a more attentive kiss. The moment was brief and  he released her before he lost himself.

“This isn’t why I came.” He took a few steps away from her to put some distance between them. His hands busied themselves with tugging at the edges of worn cotton sleeves.

“Then why did you?”

“I couldn’t watch you die.”

“Then, you should come back to Skyhold. It will be much easier to protect me there.”

He shook his head, “It’s not that easy.” His eyes avoided hers again, they looked down at the ground or through the dense thicket of trees.

“It can be.”

Solas laughed, short and shallow. “Because you are the Inquisitor?”

“Yes, because I am the Inquisitor! Solas, I’m not going to wait for answers any longer. Why can’t you trust me?”

“It has nothing to do with trust.”

“Trust has _everything_ to do with it, Solas. Whatever trouble you think you’re in or whatever you think you need to do alone, I can help, I can--”

He took her hands in his. “Listen to me.” His voice was soft and thoughtful; while his eyes were weary and pained, “What we had was real. For a while, we traveled the same road, towards the same goals and perhaps it could have stayed that way had things turned out differently. But, they didn’t. Our paths are taking us in different directions and we must walk them. But _you_ needn’t do it alone.” He touched her cheek and ran his thumb across it to catch a tear. “Some love stories are better as short stories, my love.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and whispered in her ear. “It’s time for you to wake up. Goodbye.”

“Solas!” she tried to reach for him but already, the quiet forest was disintegrating around her and Solas was gone.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Briana woke up on a straw mattress with Nanami still fast asleep beside her. Her chest, neck, and shoulders were wrapped tight with cotton bandages. Standing at her bedside was a young boy with round yellow eyes. He had a wet cloth in his hands and smiled.“Mother will be pleased.” His voice was flat and lacked the emotion that usually accompanied ten year old boys.

_A demon..._

Briana sat up in her bed. The pain in her chest shot through every nerve in her body. She grabbed the little boy by his cotton shirt and reached for her axe. When it wasn’t where she was expecting it, she fumbled and fell out of bed hitting the hardwood floor like a heavy stack of potatoes. She yelped while the boy wrested out of her grip.

“Mother!” he cried, flinging the front door open and disappearing from Briana’s sight.

Briana stayed on the floor and stared at the ceiling. The blankets were twisted around her, and her feet were still propped above her on the edge of the bed. Briana was satisfied (by the pain and embarrassment) that she was, in fact, out of the Fade. She peeked under the bandage around her chest and saw a thick, red scar that was still stitching itself together.

Magic made dying complicated.

She had been stabbed through the chest and still managed to live. Who does that? Not Andraste, or Maferath...or Alistair. Just her, maybe she could find a dragon to fight with her bare hands and test the Maker’s resolve to keep her alive. After the initial anger quelled, the realization that she was alone made her listless, her mind was blank, and her eyes set on the wooden beams above her.

The rusty front door opened and swung shut.

“Well, well, the Hero of Ferelden, awake at last and with _such grace_.”

_Fuck me, this is where it all comes full circle._

Morrigan stood over Briana with her arms crossed and brows raised. “I always said Alistair t’was the idiot but sometimes you make me think I was incorrect.”

“Not now, Morrigan.” Briana made no real attempt to untangle herself from the bed sheets.

“Ah yes, I’ve obviously interrupted something very important. Are you going to get up?”

“Nope.”

“Stop acting like a child and get up.” Morrigan snorted “I would have let you die, if I knew that’s what you wanted. You’re the ones who came through my eluvian.”

“Next time wake me up before you decide whether I should live or die. I’m getting tired of you, your mother, and the bloody Maker making that decision for me.”

“You would have survived even without my help, that wound on your chest should have killed you, but it was healing before I even touched it. Someone isn’t ready for you to die yet, Briana Cousland, so you could at least do them the courtesy of living. Get up; the rest are outside eating supper and you will do the same.”

_Maker why?_

Briana pushed herself to her feet, this time she moved carefully, using the side of the bed for support. She brushed her fingers through her curls and looked around the hut, “So, that was your son?”

“His name is Kieran.”

“Did Alistair meet him?”

“Briefly. Kieran doesn’t know anything about his father, as promised, and I kept him well away. Though I can’t say Alistair made that easy. Fool.”

Briana walked over to the fire and held her hands up to the flame. She felt cold to the core and the humidity that blew in from the windows was ice on her skin. She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm herself but Urthemiel’s quiet song seeped into her and pulled the heat away. “Thank you.”

Morrigan pulled the blankets back over Nanami who still lay unconscious. “For what?”

“For giving us time. I didn’t realize what you were offering. I was so convinced you had betrayed me; I didn’t even stop to think about another explanation. I did so little with the time I had; Alistair begged to come with me but, no, per-usual I had to put the world before us. I only seem to care when I risk losing him.”

“Why do you think that idiot cared for you so much? Because he could count on you to make the tough choices. Sentimentality doesn’t suit you, Briana-- even in your old age.” She tucked the blankets around Nanami and walked towards the fire, she came up behind her friend and dug a finger into Briana’s  bare flesh. It was black, purple, and bruised.. It disappeared beneath the bandages and was about the size of Flemeth’s grimoire. “When did this begin?”

“Sometime after Alistair and I separated.”

“What do you plan to do about it?”

“Put a sword through my belly, eventually.”

“You’re pathetic, this isn’t the Hero of Ferelden who was ready to do what it took to end the Blight.” Morrigan started towards the door.“Go eat, Alistair isn’t the only person who cares about what happens to you. The Dragon Age isn’t the age to mourn someone’s passing. Too many people have been lost, death is apart of everyone’s life. Keep him with you but remember who you are. Things are not going to get better.”

Briana didn’t respond. She walked away from the fire, grabbed a clean linen shirt and pulled it over her head. She went into the frigid Ferelden air with Morrigan. There was a larger, warmer fire lit in the yard. It chased away the damp cold and left the air smelling of smoke with a hint of fresh swamp. The stars were bright and clear in the sky. Flemeth's hut had gone untouched by the Blight that surrounded it, on the other side of a small stream at the front of the cottage, Briana could see dead grass and blighted trees. The perimeter of the cottage, however, looked exactly like it had the day she had left it after (presumably) killing Morrigan’s mother.

Cullen and Sera sat together on a bench with their faces half stuffed with stew. When they saw her, Cullen tried to regain some dignity: wiping stew from the scruff of his ungroomed face and sitting a little straighter. Meanwhile Sera shoveled more food down her throat, more than happy to stay in gravy-faced bliss.

Briana looked between the two of them, unsure wether to laugh or cry, “How did we end up here?”

Cullen set his bowl aside “When the Nightmare reappeared, another spirit showed up in the form of a wolf and defended us. I don’t remember anything after that. Not saving you, or Nanami, or going through an Eluvian, as Morrigan claims we did.”

“What about Alistair? What happened to him?”

“Well, that’s even a bigger mystery, but one I’m sure you’ll be pleased by.” Cullen motioned for her to turn around.

She turned and her heart stopped. He stood there, his clothes too loose for his skeletal frame; his hair too long and frazzled around his square, bearded face but those eyes. She’d never mistake them, not in a million years. “Maker preserve me.”

“He hasn’t done anything but ask for ya.” Sera said through mouthfuls of food, “An’ give Morrigan these sideways looks but she said tha’s normal.”

Briana threw herself into Alistair’s arms. He hugged her tight. Regardless of how skinny or weak he was it was the safest she’d felt in years. His lips pressed against the top of her head and his fingers ran through her hair. She buried her face into the crook of his neck and just held him..

Alistair chuckled, “You’re going to break me.”

“You were dead.” She looked at him, touched his face, traced his cheek bone down to his chin.

“Me, dead? Perish the thought.” His hand rested on the back of her head, “Come here.” He pulled her face close to his and kissed her. He was warm and solid, the same as she remembered. All of her worries were gone. Anything that had been plaguing her before the kiss simply vanished. Even Urthemiel couldn’t rear his ugly head. Not when Alistair was so close and alive. So very much alive.

Alistair ran his hand through her hair and looked over every inch of her face. His eyes lingered on the top of her head and his brows came together as he touched the area where her rose usually sat. “Briana,” his voice was distressed, “Where’s your rose? You’re never without it.”

Briana felt his entire body tense, she reached a hand up to fluff his hair and soothe him but he was fixated on her rose. She tried to find eyes as she explained,“It shattered while we were in the Fade.”

“Wynne put a protection spell on it.” Alistair was curt and sild his hand out of her hair, “It wouldn’t just break.” He looked at everyone around him like they were part of the scenery and no longer people. “We’ve been through worse bloody battles and it’s always survived.” Alistair pulled out of Briana’s embrace.

“It was more than that.”

“I was free.” His eyes turned away from her and flickered from face to face, becoming more and more distant.

“Al” Briana reached for his hand.

“Briana, get away from him.” Morrigan warned.

“Not again, I won’t let you taint my memory of her anymore.” His voice was soft and shaking; tears touched the corners of his eyes. Briana ignored Morrigan’s warning; Alistair lunged at her when her fingertips touched his hands. Faster than her eyes could follow, his hands wrapped around her neck and squeezed.

Alistair looked through her, seeing a demon no one else could. Briana tried to pry his hands from her neck but the lack of air to her lungs, coupled with her injuries, weakened her. She thrust her hands against his chest and with a hard shove, she pushed him away from her and took a few stunned steps back. Before he could reach her again, Cullen was on him and restrained Alistair by the arms. He screamed,and cursed, and yelled, lost in whatever nightmare he conjured for himself.

Briana tried to go to him but Sera pulled her away. Alistair struggled in Cullen’s grasp. He screamed through heavy tears, calling Briana a demon, an illusion, spawn of the darkest depths of the Fade. He kicked and flailed like a child throwing a tantrum and though he was lithe and light, Cullen clearly struggled to hold him back and he kept shouting “I was free. I was free. I was free.”

Just as Alistair deteriorated from violence into sobs, Morrigan waved a hand in front of his face; magic slid up his nose and Alistair’s whole body froze before he collapsed into sound sleep.

“Alistair believes he’s still in the Fade.” Cullen’s voice was muffled behind the blood that pulsed in Briana’s ears. “I suffered the same after the uprising in Ferelden’s Circle. He was fine until he decided something wasn’t right in his world.”

Morrigan nodded, “Take him inside and tie him to the wooden chair near the fire. He won’t be waking up anytime soon but when he does I don’t want another fight.” Cullen nodded and carried Alistair inside while Morrigan turned her attention to Briana. She began to examine the bruises already forming on her neck.

Briana ran her hands through her hair, expecting to feel the velvety petals but instead felt nothing but dry brown hair.

Morrigan sighed, “Well if that’s all,‘tis simple enough to fix. Temporarily, at least.” Morrigan kneeled and pressed her hands into the soil. Magic penetrated the ground and slowly, fresh green vines rose up. Morrigan pushed more magic into the plant until a single red rose blossomed. Morrigan picked it and wove a quick spell around it before handing it to Briana. “This should help but you need to be careful. If the absence of your rose can set him off, who knows what else may. Don’t be alone with him.”

Briana took the rose and tucked it into her hair. She felt the soft red petals beneath her touch and twirled it between her fingers until it sat just right. “Can you erase the memories?”

Morrigan paused and shook her head, “No, the magic involved and the unintended consequences would be worse than its benefits. I will send you with sleeping potions and sedatives. Tis the best I can do. I’m sure the Inquisitor can put him to sleep if it must come to that.”

“Briana, he can recover. I went through something similar after you left the circle.” Cullen said as he stepped out of the hut, closing the door gently behind him. “With time and patience, he will feel the world become solid again. He’ll eventually begin to trust what he smells and feels. I worked through it and he can too. It will never go away though, Briana. The nightmares are continuous and it’s something the two of you will have to learn to live with. However, I have complete faith you’ll pull him out of the worst of it. Much faster and more whole than I could on my own.”

“You should stay at Skyhold with us.” Sera said as she skipped back over to the warm fire, sat down in a chair, and rubbed her hands together. “Until he’s better yeah? You’ll have everything you need there. I’m sure Quizzy wouldn’t mind and I know Bull and I’d like to watch you knock Cullen on his ass a few more times!”

“Thank you Sera but, I don’t want him paraded around in front of Orlesian and Ferelden nobility. It wouldn’t be safe for him to be seen there like this. We’ll go home.”

“You can’t bring ‘im back to the Wardens acting all Blighty.”

“I never said I would.” She had no desire to return to living under the thumb of the Wardens. Sera was right, with Alistair in this condition they may believe he had Blight sickness. They’d eventually find hers too and she’d be thrust into the Deep Roads like the unwanted problem she’d become, or worse.

Then there was, Skyhold. There she’d have Lilly and the entire Inquisition at her beck and call, but she had no desire to expose Alistair to people that still petitioned him to overthrow Queen Anora. She knew she could trust her allies but had no desire to trust the rest of the Inquisition.

Betrayal came cheap.

They needed somewhere safe, and warm, and surrounded by the people who loved _her_ and not just her title. When she thought about it, Briana smiled “Highever, I think we’ll visit my brother in Highever.”

(commissioned by: rayeliann.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Hope you're all doing well and such. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're enjoying my story and just to let you know, the next chapter will -probably- be the final installment. So yeah, enjoy!


	9. The Dawn Will Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.

The road home was solemn. Alistair was weak and could only ride a few hours at a time; between that and his nightmares, progress was slow and it took them twice as long to return to Skyhold.

During the journey, Briana sustained her fair share of injuries and more than once, Nal'ahni had to step in and wrap Alistair in a sleeping spell when his delusions became unmanageable. These fits ended travel for the day and left the group waiting for another bout of sanity so they could continue home. The Fade haunted Alistair; he saw demons when there were none and enemies in his friends. During his lucidity, Alistair fell into terrible depressions as he remembered the pain his barbarity caused everyone--especially Briana. He sobbed, apologized, and tried to ostracize himself from the party. During those times, only Briana could bring him back, sometimes with kind words and other times with him slung over her shoulder. It was a  long, hard trip filled with a lot less laughter and more tears. No one complained though, not even Sera who was eager to return home.

Nal’ahni kept her distance from the group and rode at the back of the line. She stayed  close enough to Briana and Alistair to step in, but far enough away to avoid conversation. Sera was able to coax her into a conversation here and there but Nanami was disengaged and distracted.

Once they arrived at Skyhold, they were treated to a hero’s welcome. Cullen’s men met them at the gates in straight rows with their armor shining. Josephine and the nobility that were currently in attendance greeted them with cheers. Briana kept herself and Cullen between Alistair and the visiting aristocrats, though they tried their very best to grab the attention of the would-be-king.  

Leliana doted on them and had every nurse on staff examine Alistair. When she was satisfied that he was in good physical health, she escorted them to their bedroom and set two of her best scouts outside. The cheers and conversation faded as the door closed with a heavy _boom_ behind them. There was complete silence in the small stone room. The two of them were alone for the first time since the day they had separated so many years ago.

Briana was at a loss for words. She stood tense, in the middle of the room with her fists at her sides. She looked at her axe propped near her pillow and her armor, carefully put away. The danger of the journey was over but a piece of her felt like she was back at camp with a darkspawn ambush waiting to happen. ”

Alistair finished washing his (now clean shaven) face but, when he turned around and his smile faded. “You’re afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid.” Briana shook out the tension in her hands and rolled her shoulders, “You’d never kill me.”

“We don’t know that”

“ _I_ know it.”

“Fine, then what’s bothering you?”

“You were dead, Alistair.” the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself ”I heard your heart stop beating and I gave up. I was ready to follow you and to die right there at your side.” hysteria crawled into her throat, “But then you came back, and now -- you’re broken! You’re paranoid, sobbing, and apologetic all within short periods of time. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help you and for once I feel powerless.”

“So-- it’s my turn to be the strong one, is it?” Alistair wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. His fingers ran through her hair, and his cheek pressed against the top of her head. “Briana, you’re here and I know that things have been difficult but I swear to you, every time I look at you, I feel better. Right now, you’re an anchor in a world I barely understand anymore.”

“Why did the Maker bring this war into our bedroom?”Her face pressed against his chest, his skin smelled of soap and rose petals.

His laugh was quiet and gentle. She felt his chin rest on the top of her head, “Because, sleeping with Morrigan won’t fix this one.”

She smiled and gave him a gentle jab in the ribs and she found herself laughing. “You’re right. The Blight was too easy.” Her arms wrapped around his waist. He was so much thinner than she remembered. Losing him had been like losing a piece of herself and now that he was back she had no words to express how alive she felt. He was someone who had seen her at her absolute worst and her absolute best. He never treated her like a hero and always showed her more compassion than she deserved. It was finally her turn to do the same for him.  

“I love you” He whispered in her ear, “and I’ll never let you leave my side again.”

“You’ll have to.” Briana stepped out of his arms and removed her shirt. She turned her back to him and showed him the exposed, darkspawn poison that crawled through her veins. “Now, I have to find that cure. I can hear the song, I can ignore it for now, but we know what’s coming if I don’t go.”

His hand was warm to the touch as it grazed her blackened flesh, “This shouldn’t be happening to you yet. I’m the senior Grey Warden and I don’t have a touch of it. I’m coming with you.”

“No.” Briana tossed her shirt to the side and turned to face him, even from the front some of the blight peered over her shoulder. She took his hand and ran her fingers over his knuckles. Her touch was soft but her voice was hard, “You’ll be a liability.”

“You’re using your Hero voice”

“I don’t have a _hero voice._ This is my serious voice. Al, you know you can’t come as you are.”

Alistair looked like he wanted to argue for a moment but after a few twisted and unpleasant features, his shoulder slumped and he nodded. “And if the Blight worsens?”

“If it becomes too much to bare I will return to Highever.”

“Promise me.”

“Alistair, I promise you, no matter how this ends, my final hours will be spent holding your hand.” She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled his face into her’s for a long, much needed kiss. His teeth caught her bottom lip and her hands slid down his body, feeling every bone and scar along the way. Her lips moved to his neck while her hand slid down his pants.

“Maker.” His breath was hot against against her ear. His arms found their way around her and pulled her close again. The touch of his fingertips against several jagged scars sent a shiver up her spine. Briana tugged him towards the bed; her fingers caught the lacing of his pants and with one quick pull they fell around his ankles.

She slid back on the bed. He crawled after her and kneeled in front of her on the mattress. His hands cupped her face and he pulled her forward for a long, deep kiss. When they stopped, his smile was coy and playful. She pressed the tip of her nose against his, “I’ll be gentle. I don’t want to break you.”

Alistair laughed and pushed her onto her back, “Oh, shut up.” he leaned over her and blew their bedside candle out. In the dark she felt his warm body on top of her and his arms beneath her. When her legs wrapped around his waist, for the first time in a long time Briana Cousland felt whole.

~ ~ ~

The stars danced in the sky over the Frostbacks. Orlesian and Ferelden nobility alike made an appearance. Everyone was there to celebrate the reuniting of the Hero of Ferelden with her one true love and all of it because of, and thanks to, the Inquisition. Josephine couldn’t have been happier. Nobles were already spinning tales of the Inquisitor’s gentle heart compelling her to brave the Fade again to right a wrong. It was a tale for bards to someday sing of--Maryden already was, actually.

While having Orlesians and Fereldens under the same roof was stressful, Cullen and his men kept them separated and intimidated enough to keep the peace. The cooks were in a panic. The Orlesian food was too rich for the Fereldens and Ferelden food was ‘as good as rotting fish’ to the Orlesians. Even Nal'ahni, and Briana were expended. They attended feast after feast as noble parties arrived to partake in the events. Alistair, was the only one excused from the rush of attention. He made intermittent appearances to the nobility orchestrated by Josephine; he was introduced and excused from the dinners in such a manner that the nobility didn’t think to question his absences.  

Tonight was the last night Briana and Alistair would be with the Inquisition before they set off to Highever. Briana’s brother, Fergus had already arrived the previous day with a royal escort for the two of them. It included a beautiful oak carriage with thick velvet drapes and a private guard hand picked by Leliana and Cullen.

Briana was in Nal'ahni’s room getting ready for the ball. Josephine brought them gowns to wear. She said a ball was no place for Grey Warden armor or beige lounge wear. The two women sat in chairs while stylists brushed and pinned their hair. Nal'ahni nursed a cup of tea, bored and irritated while Briana seemed relaxed and confident, instructing the stylist to fix a pin here or to tighten a ribbon there. It was at times like these the Warden’s noble birth stood out.

“You know, Alistair has never seen me in a dress.” Briana took a cup of tea when it was offered. She tried to look at Nal'ahni but the stylist turned her chin so she was facing forward again.

“Really? Not even at your wedding?” Nal'ahni’s hair had been brushed until it shone like black silk and now it was being twisted and pinned. Her stylist cooed and fawned over the style but Nal'ahni didn’t understand a word of his thick Orlesian accent.

“Yes. The Chantry mother was there to oversee it, all the papers were signed. It was all very official. We were in our armor in the Commander’s office. The Wardens wanted to send me out on another mission and I refused to leave Weishaupt until I was married. It was the least romantic thing Alistair and I have ever had to endure.”

Nal'ahni laughed which, in turn, caused the stylist to panic “Maker, Inquisitor, Haven’t you learned to laugh without tears?” His Orlesian accent was thick and chastising. One of the servant girls came up and dabbed her eyes to wipe the makeup away.

Na’lahni sighed “What will you do after all of this? You’re going back Highever but it sounds like it would be best if you returned to the Wardens. Don’t you want to go to them?”

Briana was quiet while a woman painted her lips a deep ruby red, “I’m taking Alistair to Highever and I’ll stay with him for a little longer but, I’ll leave within a few weeks to finish my search for a cure for the Blight.” She pressed her lips onto a tissue when prompted, “Regardless of the outcome of that search, we’ve agreed that we will not be returning to the Wardens. All we ever wanted was a family and a place to belong. The Wardens turned on Alistair in my absence. I won’t forgive them for that. Thedas is in good hands and really doesn’t need me around with you and the Champion to fix things.”

Nal'ahni smiled as she listened to Briana’s dreams of the future and wondered how many of them would actually come true.

_We all get dragged back in, eventually._

“Thank you, Inquisitor.” Briana continued. “You’ve been a friend through all of this, even when I was trying to kill you, you showed me kindness. Can I give you one last piece of advice woman to woman?” Briana dismissed the stylists and other servants that were scurrying around the room. “Go, we look fine.” With a snap of her fingers the staff dispersed in a rush. She turned in her seat her long chocolate curls were left to hang around her shoulders. The front pieces were pulled and pinned behind her ears to give it that ‘intentionally messy’ look the Fereldens seemed to prefer.

“Why not?” One last pin was put in Nal'ahni’s hair. Her thin, silky locks were wound in a thick, intricate Orlesian style behind her head. It showed off her elven ears and big blue eyes. It pulled tightly on her scalp and she wished she had asked a Ferelden to do her hair.

“I said it to you once in Lothering and I am going to say it again. Let Cullen love you.” Before Nal'ahni could interrupt Briana shook her head, “before you try to tell me about Solas listen to what I have to say. I don’t know who Solas is. Sera hates him and while Cullen respects your decision, he’s not too happy with him either. From what I gather, this man ran out on you without a word as to where or why. I don’t question that he loved you. I don’t know anything about him to make that judgement. But, I can say that Alistair would never do that to me. He’d never leave without an explanation; he trusts me implicitly. Just as I trust him.”

Nal'ahni sat back in her chair and looked down at her hands without responding. Briana reached out and held them. “You deserve better than to wait around for someone who might never come back.” Briana leaned back in her seat with a grin. “Besides, I can speak from experience, ex Templars make great lovers and eventually, with some training, great husbands.”

Nal’ahni laughed her her cheeks blushed a shade of soft pink, “I’ll keep that in mind.” A part of her wanted to tell Briana about her experience in the Fade and saying goodbye to Solas, but when she gathered the words she pushed them back down. She rose to her feet and looked into the hearth where dying embers shone and the dining table set for two.

She smiled.

Nal’ahni motioned to the door, “Let’s go.”

The entire hall was lit with warm candlelight and decorations that displayed Inquisition and Warden emblems. Nal'ahni and Briana stood in front of the Inquisitor’s throne while everyone gathered. Briana reached out and took Nal'ahni’s hand. “A new kind of battle.” she whispered. Nal'ahni covered a laugh behind her hand as the hall grew quiet.

One of the many servants in the hall stepped forward and with a booming voice, spoke to the rest of the attendees, “Presenting Lady Inquisitor Nal'ahni Lavellan, Herald of Andraste and Lady Warden Briana Cousland Hero of Ferelden.”

“My what big names we have.” Briana said as she and Nal'ahni descended the steps hand in hand. Against Josephine’s wishes, Leliana had chosen Briana’s dress; it was hunter green silk with deep brown leather around the shoulders and then wrapped around the waist as an oversized belt emblazoned with intricate silver griffins. Nal'ahni felt more awkward in her dress. In an attempt to soothe Josephine, she chose her dress sight unseen. It was soft, ice blue cotton with several creamy silk layers beneath and long billowing sleeves trimmed with silver thread. It was comfortable but the layers made it heavy and she had to hold it up to walk down the stairs.At the base of the stairs, Alistair waited. He wore a suit strikingly similar to what they had worn at Halamshiral. It was white with a green sash made out of the same material as Briana’s dress. Nal’ahni smiled, happy to see he was well enough to make an appearance.

_That has Josephine written all over it._

Briana’s smile brightened when she caught sight of her husband. Around him that warrior persona washed away and Briana was just a girl all over again.

“By the Maker you are beautiful.” Alistair took her by the hand and drew Briana in close for a kiss. Nal'ahni stood to the side while the rest of the nobility cheered or hid their masked faces behind lace fans.

“You don’t look so bad yourself. You’re sure you’re up for this?”

“I’m fine. Just don’t leave my side, alright?”

Briana smiled, “Never.”

Nal'ahni walked up a few stairs so she could see the crowd that surrounded them. “Hello, everyone and welcome. We are so glad you could all attend. Briana, Alistair, and I hope that you have the very best night.” She paused a moment as some Ferelden’s cheered from the back while the Orlesians looked disdainfully over their shoulders, “Enjoy the food, enjoy the wine, and enjoy the cakes. Most of all, enjoy dancing. Lady Cousland, if you and Alistair could start us off with a first dance?”

“We would love to!” Briana called up to Nal'ahni.

Alistair looked at Briana, “We would?” Briana swiftly elbowed him in the ribs, “Ow!.” He rubbed his side and nodded to Nal'ahni, “I mean, it would be an honor.”

Everyone clamoured to see the two of them. Nal'ahni stayed up by her throne looking over everything just like she had at every other party. Except this time, she didn’t feel forced to enjoy it. Briana and Alistair were happy, she was able to right one of her many wrongs and save a life. She looked over at Josephine who was basking in her success at yet another flawless party and for once, Nal'ahni felt she could relate.

As the night wore on a few nobles offered her a dance, and as always, she  declined. She was happy to watch over everyone else. Briana danced with everyone though. She watched her dance with Iron Bull, Cullen, and Varric with all the grace a noble woman was trained in. On the other hand, she watched Alistair try to dance with a few noble ladies but he didn’t have the same amount of tact as his wife. Seeing her friend drowning, Leliana swooped in and danced with him so he could regain some amount of pride until Briana returned with mussed hair and red cheeks.

As the hours came and went Briana made her way up the steps and stood beside her. Nal’ahni looked over at the Warden, “You seem like you’re having a great time.”

Briana nodded, “I loved dancing and attending balls in Highever. I didn’t like to dress up much but I always enjoyed this. I’ve noticed you haven’t taken to the dance floor.”

Nal'ahni laughed, “I enjoy watching people dance. Their happiness makes me happy.”

“I bet you would have more fun if you danced with _someone_.”

“Did you really come up here to scold me for not dancing with Cullen?”

Briana shook her head,“Yes and no. Alistair is worn out; he says he’s alright but I can see that he’s slipping.” She tilted her head in Alistair’s direction where he stood talking to Cullen, his hands clenched together and his eyes darting towards Briana for a quick glance. “We are leaving early tomorrow with Fergus, I just wanted to say” Briana extended her hand towards her and Nal'ahni took it “Thank you Inquisitor. If you ever need a sword--or axe, I’m yours.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Warden.” Briana smiled and left her at the steps, retrieving Alistair from Cullen’s company.

Nal'ahni moved from her stationary spot and slipped through the crowd to find Cullen leaning against the wall watching over everyone like any good guard. He was dressed in his Halamshiral finery of white and royal blue.

“We’ve had three brawls so far. Orlesians don’t know when to quit with the dog jokes. I bet it’s a national sport. Is everything alright?”

She nodded, “Yes, thanks to you, everything’s been a success.”

“Well good. At least we won’t have to listen to Josephine’s complaints about it in the War Room tomorrow.”

“Cullen, would you… like to dance?” She smoothed her hands over her dress and tucked a piece of stray black hair behind her ear.

“Dance? I don’t-- I mean, yes -- are you sure?”

“Well, I haven’t danced with anyone all night and I’m not really good at it. I thought if I was with you, you’d stop me from making a fool of myself.”

“Well, how could I say no to that?”

Nal'ahni reached out and took his hand in hers and let him lead her out onto the dance floor. Everyone stopped to watch, and out of the corner of her eye, Nal’ahni saw Briana. She leaned against the corner of a narrow hall with Alistair at her side. When their eyes locked the Warden winked before she disappeared around the corner hand in hand with her husband.

Cullen pulled Nal’ahni close and rested a hand on her waist. As the room fell silent, her cheeks became hotter and her hand held his tight. The music was the only noise echoing in the halls. Even the clatter of cups and plates had ceased, all eyes were on the Inquisitor and the Commander. Cullen’s eyes caught hers and he gave her a subtle nod before he guided her into the first steps of a simple waltz. As she followed him, a smile crept onto her face. The music was moderately paced and her lithe elven feet easily adapted to the rhythm around them. After a moment, she didn’t even remember they were being watched. When the song ended there were gloved claps from the Orlesians and merry cheers from the Fereldens. Nal’ahni, face flushed, turned to her audience, gave a timid curtsy, and bow of her head. Cullen, no less abashed gave a gentlemanly bow as well.  

“I think I’m going to need some fresh air.” Nal’ahni whispered, “Will you come with me?”

“Maker, yes.” Cullen offered his arm and lead her into the cold mountain air.

As they withdrew from the crowd, they were saluted by two of Cullen’s men stationed at the door. Nal’ahni smiled and took in a deep breath of frigid winter air as they descended the stairs together. “It’s so quiet out here.” Nal’ahni descended the first flight of stairs with her hand still wrapped in the bend of his elbow while her other gathered and lifted the thick layers of her dress.

“It’s better than dancing in front of a room full of people.”

“Agreed.” Nanami laughed and stood on the small platform,looking towards the stables with her arms wrapped around themselves. “I didn’t expect so much attention.” Cullen stood beside her, looking out into the moonlit yard as well. There were so many things Nal’ahni wanted to say but she had no idea where to begin, she wished, just for a moment, she had the same confidence as Briana.

“I’m sorry.”

His apology left her a little flummoxed. “What?” she finally managed, taking her attention away from the yard and onto him.

“The kiss, I wasn’t in my right mind and you were--”

“No. Don’t --” Nal’ahni pinched the bridge of her nose, “Mythal’s horns, I wanted you to.”

“I know, it was foolish and I -- you _wanted_ it?” It was Cullen’s turn to be speechless but a little smile couldn’t help but creep across his face.

“When I was unconscious in Morrigan’s home, I saw Solas and I realized that he didn’t trust me and even if he did love me, I was finished trying to love him. Cullen, I care for you a great deal and I don’t know what’s going to happen but, I know I want to find out. I know that when I look at you, I feel safe and warm even out here in the middle of winter standing on cold stone.” Nal’ahni paused and chewed on her bottom lip. When Cullen didn’t respond, she started again, “I’m not trying to take advantage of your feelings I only want you to know that they’re not one --” Cullen’s hands grabbed her face and wrapped his fingers in her hair. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips and this time Nal’ahni allowed herself to fall into it. Her hand rested on his arm while another wrapped around his waist. All of the anxiety that had infested her heart a moment before melted away. He felt as immoveable as the frostbacks and even in soft cotton and silks he smelled of steel and a well oiled sword.

As their lips parted his hazel eyes looked down at her and tucked some of her hair behind her ears, “I hope that wasn’t too forward.”

“Not at all.” Nal’ahni laughed.

“Should we go back? I’m sure you’re missed.”

“Let’s stay like this a little longer.”

 

  


(commissioned by: rayeliann.tumblr.com)

 

 

**Trespasser**

Nal’ahni Lavallen fell through the eluvian clutching what was left of her arm. Her body hit the marble floor with a loud thud and her staff clattered and echoed in the small room. All around her were Orlesian and Ferelden dignitaries gasping and shouting as Inquisition soldiers shielded her from their view. She was blinded from pain and everything around her was blurred chaos. The friends that had come with her, Dorian, Bull, and Sera raced to help her to her feet. Her lip was bloodied and she was hunched over in pain from a few broken ribs. Dorian handed the staff to her and she used it as a cane while she caught her breath.

Josephine and Leliana soon arrived, pushing the crowd out of the room and assuring them everything would be revealed shortly. From outside Nal’ahni heard Orlesians gasping in disapproval before she heard the roar of her Commander, “Get out of my way that is my wife you’re keeping me from!”

“Your what?!” Sera’s voice boomed in her ear causing her head to throb.

“Well that really is a surprise.” Dorian’s softer voice rose among the deep chuckles of Bull who was holding her steady as Cullen rushed to her side. He took her from Bull’s arms and leaned down to come nose to nose with her. Nal’ahni tried to focus but his face was an exhausted blurr.

“Nal’ahni, Nal’ahni what happened?” His voice was panicked as he took notice of her arm.

“I’m alright.” Nal’ahni managed in a soft whisper. Her weight was too much to bare and her knees slowly buckled. Cullen held her steady and joined her on the floor as her exhaustion wore her down. “I’m alright” she repeated, she looked up and finally his face was clear and it made her glad. “The Qunari have been stopped”

“You can tell me all about it once we get you to a infirmary.” Cullen moved to lift her but she put a hand on his chest to stop him.  

“Wait, Solas was there.”

“Solas?”

“He wants to restore Arlathan, and I may have to kill him.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say a final thank you to everyone who has followed, commented, and liked this story. It means a great deal that no only did you enjoy the journey that Nal'ahni and Briana went through but that you stuck through very long periods between posts. You're all amazing and supportive! Feel free to comment or ask questions, I'm an open book. :D

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, hope you liked my first chapter! Anyway, I am a really anal writer and I won't post the next chapter until I think it's absolutely perfect. It's all written so just hold tight! I'm sure Chapter Two: And Hope Has Fled, will be up within the next couple of weeks. 
> 
> May the Dread Wolf never hear your steps. -AJ


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